I never figured I'd be posting this on a forum like this, but there's no harm in being honest, so I'll tell you!
I didn't always feel great waking up each day. In fact, just a few years ago, I absolutely hated life. Things get shitty, and I felt like I just had to deal with it that way. I'm bipolar, have huge social anxiety, and that makes anything I have to do that involves leaving my room extremely shitty. The only thing that was keeping me going over the years was my dog, which sometimes wasn't enough.
About my dog - He's a Shetland Sheepdog named Turner. He's 7 years old now. I love him more than anything, he's pretty much my best friend. He's never let me down, and isn't going to screw me over. What does he have in life to be happy about? Pretty much, me. He depends on me to give him a good life, which is always what I told myself any time I thought about ending everything. I still have to tell myself that sometimes.
I've changed in the last year or so though, I decided to take control of my life a bit more and stop being a pussy. I stopped caring so much what other people think. Things won't get better if I hibernate in my room forever. Things sure aren't perfect now, but I have a better way of looking at things now, and know that things will be better. The worse thing that can happen to me is I lose everything I have, am homeless on the street, and eventually die. It doesn't sound too bad to me when I think that all I wanted was to die in the first place.
Plus I've actually been excited about things lately (Diablo III one of them!) so I kind of want to stick around for a bit!
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May 10, 2012Jaelzadeon posted a message on Guys.... I figured out of way to make the release-date come closer !It's crazy how close we are. I was just talking to my brother about it, and I said, "On Tuesday" and it's weird we can actually say, "ON TUESDAY" instead of "in 4 weeks, on the 15th, blah blah" We can just refer to it as TUESDAY. That got me all weirded out, and I realized how bloody close this game is now!Posted in: Diablo III General Discussion
Apr 20, 2012I played WoW for a long time, but got really sick of it and quit quite a while ago. Before that I play Diablo II a lot. I don't think Diablo III is anything like WoW... I'm not sure where people are getting that from. It reminds me much more of Diablo II than anything. Not sure why people complain so much about the graphics either. It doesn't look like a lot of games, but to me it's much more interesting to look at than a game that's trying to look realistic.Posted in: Diablo III General Discussion
Like has already been said here, it's different for everyone. I know I will enjoy it and spend a ton of time playing it when it comes out though.
Apr 20, 2012I've been in the beta since October and I'm still playing it, so it must be pretty awesome. There isn't much content to it, of course, but it's a beta so what can you expect? I just realized I've been playing since beta patch 4... jeez. Seen a lot of changes, and I really like where it's at now. I never get bored in the beta. I will farm my arse off just to see how high of DPS/Magic Find/Gold Find/etc that I can get. I've also only been playing solo, except for a few times I ran through with a buddy of mine.Posted in: Diablo III General Discussion
I'm glad everyone is going to get a chance to play. It's nice for people to be able to play the classes they are interested in and see how they feel so they can decide before launch what they want to start with.
Have a good weekend killing, everyone!
Apr 19, 2012I'm a girl, I play games. No one would ever know though. I played WoW for years and if I grouped outside my guild they'd always call me "dude" refer to me as "he/him" and I just let them do it because I know as soon as I corrected them they'd change their perspective of me. In WoW I could understand it, as a lot of girls I played with there were idiots and were only playing because their boyfriend played and they didn't have a clue (not saying all girls are like this, but a lot of the ones I ran into sure fit the stereotype). I'm really into min/maxing and actually figuring out how to play the game well.Posted in: Diablo III General Discussion
Quote from LordRayken
I personally despise gamers that differentiate themselves based upon sex. It irritates the hell out of me. There is no such thing as a "GURL GAYMURRR"
There are just "Gamers"
I also agree with this. Sure I've met a bunch of girls playing games that were complete noobs, but I can sure say I've met a lot more males that were noobs.
Apr 18, 2012A lot of people weren't sure it was a bug though. Do you really believe everything Blizzard says (lol). A lot of people were hoping that they would surprise everyone with a chance to play. Some people logged in because others said they could, but probably didn't know nothing was said by Blizzard about it.Posted in: Diablo III General Discussion
Really, I don't think anyone has anything to worry about. It was a mistake, and made a lot of people really happy for a short time.
DON'T BAN HAPPINESS!
Apr 17, 2012Jay Wilson said it's a change that will be permanent:Posted in: Hardcore Discussion
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Jul 2, 2012Posted in: Fan ArtQuote from Aerisot
He did not "fall" from the heavens, he was kicked out after taking off his wings..after having a pissing argument with imperius whom he already knew was high tempered, watch the cinematic again, he is surprised when the strange tenticals come out and drag him into the ground, he even struggles against him.
He chose to become mortal we saw that. I imagine he knew he wasn't going to be able to just keep strolling around as a mortal in the High Heavens, or else why would he have even done it. He wanted to come help Humanity.
His character is just so badly developed compared to how he was in D2, In the Act 2 cinematic he shows Leah what happened to him, in the Act 3 cinematic he pulls Leah out of her dream like state while Azmodan was talking to her, and in Act 4 he reclaims his spot as part of the council only this time as a mortal and as Wisdom...What? He actually doesn't do anything, During the Diablo fight he is standing outside.
His character in D2, awesome for the time because not many games had memorable characters, looked cool, but he was about as deep and developed as a rock. The Sinwar helped show us a lot of other facets to his character other than "righteous angel guy". D3 showed us more of his caring side.
The only kickass thing he does was break the gate him which seigebreaker is behind...Oh but I forgot...right after he does that, he runs behind you like a coward
You're right. He should have just stood there and died I guess, that would have been more badass. Not to mention game mechanics.
Also, I didn't want to mention that he was a sulking crybaby in Act 4 until you find him again, but he was.
He is mortal and a living being, he's entitled to feelings. Even angels and demons have emotion. This was the first time in thousands of years that the High Heavens had ever been breeched, lots of his old brethren have been killed, Malthael has already gone missing, Imperius who he used to be close to is angry at him and Auriel is captured and possibly dead.
Another thing that bugs me, If he is now mortal and can die, how exactly did he survive falling form heaven in a flaming meteor through the roof and 5 stories into the cathedral and then laying in blue flames until your hero taps him on the shoulder?
The wings shielded him from the fall with the last of their power? Maybe Eldruin did something to protect him and that's why it shattered? Maybe he's mortal but still a lot more durable than a human so a fall wouldn't kill him?
I thought overall it was a pretty decent story. Leah I didn't like, they tried to hard with her, but they took the story of the Diablo series which it really didn't even have much of one in the game timeline and it fleshed it out a lot more. It gave us a lot more on the angels, a lot of plot devices, backstory, and set up future events to continue.
Besides, what does ANY of that have to do with how badass a tattoo looks still?
Jul 2, 2012My question would be, why on earth would you get a tattoo of something unoriginal (by this I mean not of your own work or ideas) in the first place, you're marking your body for life - this is the thing I see people doing all too often, they see something they like in a magazine/game/movie or whatever and then get it emblazoned into their flesh, without wondering if in a few years time they could stand to even look in the mirror at it.Posted in: Fan Art
I've got tattoos, but made the decision to dwell on original designs drawn in part by myself and the artist (he did most of it as my artwork is not up there lol), 16 years later I still look at them and admire them, is it to everyone's taste? no, not all the time, but I'd rather something that was a part of me in some form than something popular drawn by an artist for a video game.
I'm not saying you shouldn't have got it, that was entirely up to you to decide, it's just not something that makes sense to me.
May 22, 2012Why are people so ungrateful for what blizzard has done for us?Posted in: Diablo III General Discussion
There are bugs in the system ill grant you that but they are trying to fix them.
All day in general chat i see people complaing about how blizz sucks they wasted there money bla bla, like they are entitled to a game just because they payed money for it.
You dont own this game my friends and if you dont believe me read the TOS agreement.... your renting the right to play.... they own it and can take it from you at any time for no reason at all.
Have some Gd appreciation for what these people have givin you.
i love the diablo franchise and i appreciate what blizz gave me...... patience and understanding people... they give it to us everyday.
May 13, 2012And, at the end of days, money will be spentPosted in: Diablo III General Discussion
As productivity ceases in the world of men
Speculation shall turn to Truth
and all Hype shall be swallowed by Gameplay
Diablo3, at long last, shall spread it's goodness over all-
as spoilers lie shattered forever.
May 13, 2012Posted in: General DiscussionQuote from Hardkoar
Cool story bro, but why should we give a fuck?
Dunno bout the rest of the guys around here but I come to this forum to read DIABLO 3 related posts, not some guy getting dumped or writing a love letter to his GF.
If you don't care, why post here? The world doesn't revolve around you ;]
May 13, 2012Just wanted to make a post about my girlfriend. I started going out with her right around the time Diablo 3 was first announced, and that was something I told her I couldn't wait for that it was going to be the best game ever and that we totally had to play it. We've gone through a lot of different struggles and challenges in our relationship, dealing with distance, school and communication. She went from being a person who rarely played video games at all to being a total gamer like me that I can talk to about game content and play hardcore games with me like SC2.Posted in: General Discussion
We've been living together for quite sometime, and she recently had to go away for an internship on the other side of the world in Hong Kong and I miss her greatly, what I'm more sad about is that she can't play Diablo with me when it releases. I know that we can play when she gets back, I've come to terms with that, but it's what she told me the other day.
She said that she really enjoys sharing the experiences with me, with going to the midnight launch, and opening up that collector's edition box, and looking through all the goodies. She said she really missed not being able to go with me to this midnight release because it has been something I've been following since the beginning of our relationship.
I think its weird how some people say women can't be gamers and how it's a male only thing. I know that my girl could give them a run for their money.
What I'm really trying to say though, is thanks, for being there for me, and not only learning about my hobby, but making it something you enjoy too, and understand its meaning to me.
Cheers to all the girls who take care of us gamer guys!
May 13, 2012As long as I remember, I was afraid of death. When I was little, my grandparents, who are religious, told me that after someone dies, they go to heaven or hell, depending on how they acted in this life, but somehow, I never bought it. I don't believe that there is an afterlife, although I cannot explain why are conscious. As I think of it, it's not logical that a being should be conscious, and be able to think about the world. It seams almost not of this universe. When ever I try to imagine myself not existing, or at least my consciousness not existing, I start panicking, because I don't WANT to be not alive.Posted in: Off-Topic
I find it depressing that I am waiting for something, because, I always do, and when the moment comes that I get, or see, or whatever, that which I was waiting for, I realize that a day will come when I won't exist anymore.
Even if I never die, what can I look forward to... my family dying, humans evolving into something that I won't be able to familiarize with, the end of the solar system, the end of the universe... And even if I find a way to somehow escape this universe when it ends, there is no guaranty that the next one will have the same laws of physics (if the multiverse theory is correct). Or If, when this universe comes to an end, I somehow find a big enough wormhole to transport me to the beginning of this universe. Then again, after an infinite number of loops, there would be infinite copies of me... where would I go then...
I am currently studying Molecular Biology, with hopes of becoming a Genetic Engineer. I know that the secret to longevity is in the genes, once it is cracked, humans will be able to live 150 years and longer.
It is not impossible to live for ever, as there are some organisms that can. There are species of jellyfish that go through different cycles of life and can go through them an infinite number of times (they die of disease, predators and similar stuff). Cancer cells can divide an infinite number of times (unlike other cells), which makes them essentially immortal (unless you count cell division as death of a mother cell, and birth of daughter cells, which in terms of a multicellular organism means nothing).
But as I said... even if science succeeds in making humans immortal, what then...
May 13, 2012This is a great question, because I have had plenty of times when I felt the same way you seem to, where I just couldn't care less about the next day. Usually it happens at times when I feel like I'm far away from achieving my goals.Posted in: Off-Topic
The best cure is to do work, in my case. I try to make sure I always have a project, just to avoid feeling that intense boredom and apathy that comes with not having a purpose. My projects are what get me up in the morning.
When I say projects, specifically I mean making art, making games, writing, building my website, exercise (working on my physique as a project, basically), anything that has a long term goal with short-term manageable chunks. I don't necessarily have to finish anything (I often don't) but just having something to work on, even if I end up abandoning it and trying something else, gives me a reason to keep going. Plus, its good practice.
The toughest part about this is overcoming the initial apathy (which comes in the form of procrastination) in order to start. Its really just a habit you have to build. I still haven't conquered procrastination.
May 12, 2012Posted in: Off-TopicQuote from Jaelzadeon
I keep thinking about what I want down the road... I don't think I'll ever have a family, not really interested in it, but I definitely want to own my own house/property, and live comfortable doing something I love to do. It took me years to finally get the courage to take the leap toward working toward that goal. I think I'm finally on the right track... It will take a while, but I'm at least moving forward instead of sitting around every day being miserable.
It's nice to have goals to work toward and dream of achieving some day. I guess that's what really gets me motivated these days.
Someone has been shuffling through my mind. And that someone is you
It's pretty much the same here.
I don't really think about having a family of my own. I guess maybe one day things will just happen, but I don't give it too much thought. The main thing I realized was that I don't want to raise children. One part of me would love to. But the other one wants to make sure no one ever gets what I got from my father. As I grow older I realize how much like him I really am. And that pisses me off to no end. I shouldn't make anyone put up with this.
Well that went off topic...
I set a couple of goals recently and the future seems less grim ever since.
On the other hand, when I think about it, it seems like I am more miserable now. Finding out how hard and distant everything is makes me sad sometimes.
Getting up in the morning is actually great. Even though I know the day won't be anything special I still look forward to it. I never pay too much attention to people, unless I have to. I enjoy every little moment I can. I frequently stare at the clouds (I love the clouds), watch trees sway in the wind, enjoy a funny angle of a sunbeam.
As much as I feel miserable sometimes, I manage to retain a calm mind and try to enjoy the minutes I got in this wonderful place.
Oh God, this doesn't even scratch it...
I got so much to say but it's all scrambled in my head QQ
Great topic, Red! /pat
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