DiabloFans

May 14, 2012

Dearest <Her name>,

At midnight on the eve of the 15^th day in May the long awaited PC video game “Diablo III” will be released upon the world. This marks the first time a sequel from this franchise was birthed since 2001, when with much lack of sleep your current husband spent many a high school night playing Diablo II and its expansion. You can imagine how much anticipation has built up over the eleven years since the last installment of the story. The last time your loving and adoring partner enjoyed such a midnight release was in 2006 for the release of the first World of Warcraft expansion, The Burning Crusade. Fun was had by all, and yea there was joy. This is not an event that he celebrates often, but it is something that he loves to do.

Over the next few days, your husband will be overly happy with his alone time. He also realizes that you will be very stressed between having to both work and then travel directly to school and take classes for several more hours. In observance of this fact, he has promised to:

• Keep all areas of the manor clean of all dishes and debris. In particular, the kitchen will be kept spotless at all times.
• Pay all bills on time.
• Feed the resident canine twice a day and take him out for elimination at least five times per day, relatively evenly spaced apart, and more times upon the canine's request.
• Perform any laundering services required.
• Devote the evenings to the resident Lady of the Apartment's pleasure, which may include but not be limited to the following at her request and until her request for sleep or dismissal of the husband:
• Sweet loving.
• Foot massage.
• Back rub.
• Television or moving viewing.
• A drawn bath with wine and candlelight.
• Prepare at designated times:
• 6am – Coffee
• 6:30am – Breakfast
• 6:50am – Bagged lunch to take to work
• 6:30pm-7:30pm – Dinner (Dependant upon the Lady's class departure time)

He is also pleased to announce that when playing single player the game has the ability to be instantly paused, the same feature that was lacking in Starcraft II and thus became a source of many complaints of the Lady.

I Love You,

<My Name>
<Signed>

Quote from ScyberDragon

I say ditch the pizza rolls. To messy. You need dryer food to not dirty the mouse or keyboard.

Quote from Ruppgu

If anything, I fear that it will be too hard (like cthun) and more importantly, not balanced very well. It's starting to sound like they didn't even test Inferno properly if NOT A SINGLE DAMN PERSON beat inferno to date. Talk about a horrible job in testing. I was disgusted by that remark.

If they treat testing like that, I'm also very worried about how polished Acts 2,3, and 4 will be.

Quote from Twistedpandora

Quote from Red_Panda

Quote from waster914

Quote from overneathe

I'll go ahead and move this to the Trade section of our forums, where people will surely be able to answer your questions.

I posted it up there for a fast response. thanks for not helping

That's probably the single most ungrateful reply I've ever seen from a user.

yeah, i mean wtf,

Quote from WishedHeHadBeta

so regardless of blizz officially stating multiple times the delay has NOTHING to do with south korea you still have your tin foil hat on and think conspiracy? lol