How are you guys going to play D3 and still maintain good relationship with your wife? I just got married, and was thinking of buying another comp so as to let my wife join in *fingers crossed*
Well, I've been married for going on 3 years, been together for 4. My wife was a gamer (she's pregnant and finishing her bachelors now) when I married her, and it was pretty easy. Now that she doesn't play as much as she used to, we just have times that we spend with each other. Generally when I get home from work and before we go to bed. Weekends here and there. You have to find time in between games and things you do to show her a little love, although it also depends on how needy she is. My wife likes her space as much as I like mine, and after my first deployment she is content with not having me up her arse 24/7.
Were you not gaming before you got married with your wife? surely you two have been together for a while before tying the knot?
What is there to say really... everything with moderation? play D3 when you have your personal time, don't ignore the wife, etc etc. Pretty self explanatory.
Well, I've been married for going on 3 years, been together for 4. My wife was a gamer (she's pregnant and finishing her bachelors now) when I married her, and it was pretty easy. Now that she doesn't play as much as she used to, we just have times that we spend with each other. Generally when I get home from work and before we go to bed. Weekends here and there. You have to find time in between games and things you do to show her a little love, although it also depends on how needy she is. My wife likes her space as much as I like mine, and after my first deployment she is content with not having me up her arse 24/7.
You know how women say that they'll put you "sex time-out" and not sleep with you when you're mad at them? Well, put your wife in "acknowledgement that she exists time-out" and let your blood thirst for loot and demons fuel that. Makes sense to me!
Sit down with her and discuss a possibility schedual for you. Say like, between 7 and 9 on these days i like to play. The other days/times over you spend together.
Sit down with her and discuss a possibility schedual for you. Say like, between 7 and 9 on these days is when we will spend time together. The other days/times you, you can spend on D3.
Sit down with her and discuss a possibility schedual for you. Say like, between 7 and 9 on these days i like to play. The other days/times over you spend together.
Sit down with her and discuss a possibility schedual for you. Say like, between 7 and 9 on these days is when we will spend time together. The other days/times you, you can spend on D3. I like it much better like that.
Well if one plays D3 sporadically, its hard to get the full experience of the game. Its like when you play an hour a day or two o D3 per day, you wont be insync with all your friends whom were hardcore d3 24/7 players like you last time If you get what I mean..
Well I'm married for almost 6 years and now have a 22 month old daughter and I'll can say to answer your question is that I don't know how I'm going to do it, but on May 15th, we're about to find out!!!
Seriously, I'm married to a teacher which works out great. She has to get up so early to get the kid out to day care with her and still get to school on time (7 am) that she can't stay up very late at night (9:30 or so she's going to bed). When she goes to bed, it's Diablo 3 time!! As much as I love the Diablo franchise, I love my wife and kid more so spending some time with them each night is not something I'll do begrudgingly. I don't have to get up until 8 to get to work and I could do my accounting job half asleep most days anyway, so I can play late into the night and that should be enough time for me. My carpel tunnel from D2 will kick in if I play for too long a stretch at once anyway. I guess in short the answer is play when she's not around or content to do other things. If she's got to hang with you all the time, she needs a hobby or more friends. I guess I would agrue that if she has to hang with you all the time, you already don't have such a healthy relationship. Of course, if you can get her into playing D3, that's paradise!! My wife's much too busy with grading papers, making lesson plans, and raising our daughter for RPG games.
1. Be reasonable with how much you play. You cannot expect things to go well if you cancel friday nights to play D3.
2. Just play, it's your free-time. I never heard of a law saying a couple have to spend 100% of their time together.
3. Optional but probably the best, introduce her to the game. If she likes it, she'll "understand".
Damn, I'm not married but I live with my gf since 3 years. I'm pretty hardcore and when I want to play I play she has no words in it. Then when I'm done with it, I'll go do things with her, we still go out etc...
Really, I feel married people that cannot play a game (or a hobby in a more general sense) are really sad. I mean, things like WoW raiding I completly understand, booking 4Hr straight on multiple nights is a big commitment but Diablo ? You probably wont be world first 60 though lets be clear on that.
Kids are another issue, especially at a low age.
Btw... if you never played while being married and then suddenly play a lot it might be a problem.
Well, I've been married for going on 3 years, been together for 4. My wife was a gamer (she's pregnant and finishing her bachelors now) when I married her, and it was pretty easy. Now that she doesn't play as much as she used to, we just have times that we spend with each other. Generally when I get home from work and before we go to bed. Weekends here and there. You have to find time in between games and things you do to show her a little love, although it also depends on how needy she is. My wife likes her space as much as I like mine, and after my first deployment she is content with not having me up her arse 24/7.
I reckon you wont be lvling up fast then?
Quite the opposite. My wife has a few full spa days surrounding the d3 release. She pretty much lets me do whatever I want. I'm pretty damn lucky tbh
edit. My post was in regards to how my general days go, my wife is fully aware once d3 comes out that we won't be spending much time together, so getting off from work will mean straight to the comp, and she'll just bring dinner to me in my office :), already have a mini fridge so drinks are no problem.
the same way i played at any other release of a game. I played video games heavily before i got married, the wife got interested in games as well, she got hooked on WoW and we both have Diablo 3 beta and shes hooked on that now. We have 2 kids also. Shes not the extremist gamer as i am to stay up all night for a couple days to play at release but she plays quite alot
Shes also about to graduate from college and start a teaching job in the fall. It all just depends how well you can manage life and video games and all things together. Just gotta work it out =P
How are you guys going to play D3 and still maintain good relationship with your wife? I just got married, and was thinking of buying another comp so as to let my wife join in *fingers crossed*
Any other suggestions?
I bought myself a new PC, and gave my wife my old one ( still a beefy machine). My wife is a non gamer but LOVES the beta. In fact she is playing the beta right now. I think she got into it as an attempt to share an interest, but she discovered she actually really enjoys it.
Sit down with her and discuss a possibility schedual for you. Say like, between 7 and 9 on these days i like to play. The other days/times over you spend together.
Sit down with her and discuss a possibility schedual for you. Say like, between 7 and 9 on these days is when we will spend time together. The other days/times you, you can spend on D3. I like it much better like that.
Well if one plays D3 sporadically, its hard to get the full experience of the game. Its like when you play an hour a day or two o D3 per day, you wont be insync with all your friends whom were hardcore d3 24/7 players like you last time If you get what I mean..
Yes i know, i stopped playing wow 5 hours a day (straight from work behind the pc) and only had time for maybe 1/2 hours a day, tops. Luckly i'm single so i don't have to worry about wife/daughter etc but i still want some time besides gaming. When you are marries you knew from the moment you said yes that you would have extra obligations next to the ones you already had. You can't let her do all the work while you game all day (some might, but hè that's like 0,00001% of the guys).
I learned from the past that gaming is alot of fun, but having a relationship with someone you can share everything with is more special then a game you toss away after some months/years. If you really want that your relationship will last/stand while you game i suggest you really need a talk with your wife and come up with a decent plan. She will understand (lucky you that she is/was a gamer) that you like gaming and you want to play every evening. If you suggest 2 hours a day on gaming and 3 hours with her, i doubt she would say no to you. Maybe you are lucky after some weeks and she will play to, so the 2 hours will convert in 4/5
I totally agree with your opinion. There must be a balance between the two and if it comes to choice it should be obvious and any man/woman that chooses a game above their spouse is garbage.
However, I don't think Diablo is a game you throw away after a couple of years Unless it sucks, it which case most will probably be throwing it at the heads of the developers.
My wife will be playing as well which will make this much easier however she won't be playing as much as me. Kids and family come first but I've let her know im taking the first 72 hours to pretty much only play the game and since she's been with me forever and knows i've been waiting for years shes cool with that.
I've been gaming since 1992'ish, since I got my first computer (this is not including nintendo), I met my wife 6 years ago...she knew I was a gamer and she still went out with me, now we argue alot because she is constantly trying to change me or make me hold my daughter, and I'm like "can't you see I'm busy?" and she is all like "She is your daughter, whats more important the game or her" and I'm all like "Does the game cry?, Does the game constantly yell out I want mommy? no, NO IT DOESN'T" and next thing I know my daughter is hitting my keyboard because she is alread in my lap and my wife isn't there anymore.
I've been gaming since 1992'ish, since I got my first computer (this is not including nintendo), I met my wife 6 years ago...she knew I was a gamer and she still went out with me, now we argue alot because she is constantly trying to change me or make me hold my daughter, and I'm like "can't you see I'm busy?" and she is all like "She is your daughter, whats more important the game or her" and I'm all like "Does the game cry?, Does the game constantly yell out I want mommy? no, NO IT DOESN'T" and next thing I know my daughter is hitting my keyboard because she is alread in my lap and my wife isn't there anymore.
That's just plain bad, on your part. Both you and your wife should be making efforts on how to manage time and that the both of you spend time with your daughter. I'm the eldest child of five, and the two youngest came into existence in my last years of High School. I remember both of them getting dumped on me to watch constantly because my step mom only wanted children because of the attention she'd indirectly get by having kids, she had and still has zero interest on actually caring or raising children. Despite the fact that between working in the afternoons and still having plenty of homework and schoolwork to take care of, I was more than capable of finding time to game as well as still watch my two youngest infant sisters so that they didn't die from starvation.
If you aren't willing to put family first over your hobby, then you have no reason to reproduce or care for children.
edit: Back to the thread's topic, a married man will find the time to game the same way he should have been doing it when he was dating. There is a set time that you do it, and you make sure that the time you're going to do it is free, that no activities or events were planned for that set time. You can then are in the right to safely play within a set amount of time. Doing anything otherwise you should always be ready to drop the game at a pin drop to take care of whatever. When I used to raid hardcore in MMO's when I started college I would always use off nights for dates and what not. I always made my raid schedule clear, and I'm gifted enough in multitasking that I am capable of carrying out fairly involved conversations while gaming. My critical thinking can't be applied to in full for the conversation, since part of it is being applied to the game, but a portion of it is often more than enough to satisfy the needs for most conversations.
At the end of the day, it really comes down to if you like or do you love your wife. If you like her, then things are going to go poorly for both of you, as you're going to make the wrong decisions for a marriage, the biggest one being that you said, "I do". If you love your wife, then you're going to find a way to make things work for the both of you. You're most likely not going to be able to have insane gaming marathons, or be able to wake up, play all day and then go to bed (and maybe even go to bed expecting sex). Those are things you lost when you got married, I shouldn't say lost, but more of traded. You traded the solitude that enabled impromptu gaming marathons for the companionship that disables you from always getting what you want. You traded the thought that you may die alone for the reassurance that someone saying that they love you, and they want to grow old with you.
As to what the OP suggested, trying to get your wife engaged into your hobby is a great thing to try. Do remember to be patient and helpful though. She may slow you down, but think of the significance of what's happening. You are playing a game with your best friend and if the two of you find some way for you to enjoy that time together while playing D3 then your relationship is going to be much better because of it.
Well your kind of asking 2 questions... how do I 'get permision' and how do I 'find time'
I'm married with a 2 year old girl.
Getting permision depends on your relationship. For me, I was into games when I first met my wife and the issue came up once when we were well into our relationship and living together, but before getting married. I was honest with her, telling her that I'm really into gaming and that will never change and if you dont like it then we cant move forward. Never had any issues since. Of course I'm not a dickhead and play all the time, I'm a husband and father first.
As for finding time, thats actually the hard part now with a daughter. Most days I'm up at 5am with my daughter and between her, work and house duties that doesnt end until about 7-8pm.
From there its make some dinner and then I'll pay games for a couple of hours while my wife watches some TV, then its off to bed.
One thing I did find that made things a little easier was putting the computer in the bedroom. We have a TV in there that my wife watches, while I'll be on the computer. We aren't doing the same thing but we're haging out together.
Playing X360 in the lounge room for the same amount of time tends to get up her nose more than me doing the exact same thing in the bedroom... go figure.
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Any other suggestions?
What is there to say really... everything with moderation? play D3 when you have your personal time, don't ignore the wife, etc etc. Pretty self explanatory.
I reckon you wont be lvling up fast then?
Sit down with her and discuss a possibility schedual for you. Say like, between 7 and 9 on these days is when we will spend time together. The other days/times you, you can spend on D3.
I like it much better like that.
Well if one plays D3 sporadically, its hard to get the full experience of the game. Its like when you play an hour a day or two o D3 per day, you wont be insync with all your friends whom were hardcore d3 24/7 players like you last time If you get what I mean..
Seriously, I'm married to a teacher which works out great. She has to get up so early to get the kid out to day care with her and still get to school on time (7 am) that she can't stay up very late at night (9:30 or so she's going to bed). When she goes to bed, it's Diablo 3 time!! As much as I love the Diablo franchise, I love my wife and kid more so spending some time with them each night is not something I'll do begrudgingly. I don't have to get up until 8 to get to work and I could do my accounting job half asleep most days anyway, so I can play late into the night and that should be enough time for me. My carpel tunnel from D2 will kick in if I play for too long a stretch at once anyway. I guess in short the answer is play when she's not around or content to do other things. If she's got to hang with you all the time, she needs a hobby or more friends. I guess I would agrue that if she has to hang with you all the time, you already don't have such a healthy relationship. Of course, if you can get her into playing D3, that's paradise!! My wife's much too busy with grading papers, making lesson plans, and raising our daughter for RPG games.
1. Be reasonable with how much you play. You cannot expect things to go well if you cancel friday nights to play D3.
2. Just play, it's your free-time. I never heard of a law saying a couple have to spend 100% of their time together.
3. Optional but probably the best, introduce her to the game. If she likes it, she'll "understand".
Damn, I'm not married but I live with my gf since 3 years. I'm pretty hardcore and when I want to play I play she has no words in it. Then when I'm done with it, I'll go do things with her, we still go out etc...
Really, I feel married people that cannot play a game (or a hobby in a more general sense) are really sad. I mean, things like WoW raiding I completly understand, booking 4Hr straight on multiple nights is a big commitment but Diablo ? You probably wont be world first 60 though lets be clear on that.
Kids are another issue, especially at a low age.
Btw... if you never played while being married and then suddenly play a lot it might be a problem.
edit. My post was in regards to how my general days go, my wife is fully aware once d3 comes out that we won't be spending much time together, so getting off from work will mean straight to the comp, and she'll just bring dinner to me in my office :), already have a mini fridge so drinks are no problem.
Shes also about to graduate from college and start a teaching job in the fall. It all just depends how well you can manage life and video games and all things together. Just gotta work it out =P
I totally agree with your opinion. There must be a balance between the two and if it comes to choice it should be obvious and any man/woman that chooses a game above their spouse is garbage.
However, I don't think Diablo is a game you throw away after a couple of years Unless it sucks, it which case most will probably be throwing it at the heads of the developers.
https://www.deviantart.com/aerisot
That's just plain bad, on your part. Both you and your wife should be making efforts on how to manage time and that the both of you spend time with your daughter. I'm the eldest child of five, and the two youngest came into existence in my last years of High School. I remember both of them getting dumped on me to watch constantly because my step mom only wanted children because of the attention she'd indirectly get by having kids, she had and still has zero interest on actually caring or raising children. Despite the fact that between working in the afternoons and still having plenty of homework and schoolwork to take care of, I was more than capable of finding time to game as well as still watch my two youngest infant sisters so that they didn't die from starvation.
If you aren't willing to put family first over your hobby, then you have no reason to reproduce or care for children.
edit: Back to the thread's topic, a married man will find the time to game the same way he should have been doing it when he was dating. There is a set time that you do it, and you make sure that the time you're going to do it is free, that no activities or events were planned for that set time. You can then are in the right to safely play within a set amount of time. Doing anything otherwise you should always be ready to drop the game at a pin drop to take care of whatever. When I used to raid hardcore in MMO's when I started college I would always use off nights for dates and what not. I always made my raid schedule clear, and I'm gifted enough in multitasking that I am capable of carrying out fairly involved conversations while gaming. My critical thinking can't be applied to in full for the conversation, since part of it is being applied to the game, but a portion of it is often more than enough to satisfy the needs for most conversations.
At the end of the day, it really comes down to if you like or do you love your wife. If you like her, then things are going to go poorly for both of you, as you're going to make the wrong decisions for a marriage, the biggest one being that you said, "I do". If you love your wife, then you're going to find a way to make things work for the both of you. You're most likely not going to be able to have insane gaming marathons, or be able to wake up, play all day and then go to bed (and maybe even go to bed expecting sex). Those are things you lost when you got married, I shouldn't say lost, but more of traded. You traded the solitude that enabled impromptu gaming marathons for the companionship that disables you from always getting what you want. You traded the thought that you may die alone for the reassurance that someone saying that they love you, and they want to grow old with you.
As to what the OP suggested, trying to get your wife engaged into your hobby is a great thing to try. Do remember to be patient and helpful though. She may slow you down, but think of the significance of what's happening. You are playing a game with your best friend and if the two of you find some way for you to enjoy that time together while playing D3 then your relationship is going to be much better because of it.
I'm married with a 2 year old girl.
Getting permision depends on your relationship. For me, I was into games when I first met my wife and the issue came up once when we were well into our relationship and living together, but before getting married. I was honest with her, telling her that I'm really into gaming and that will never change and if you dont like it then we cant move forward. Never had any issues since. Of course I'm not a dickhead and play all the time, I'm a husband and father first.
As for finding time, thats actually the hard part now with a daughter. Most days I'm up at 5am with my daughter and between her, work and house duties that doesnt end until about 7-8pm.
From there its make some dinner and then I'll pay games for a couple of hours while my wife watches some TV, then its off to bed.
One thing I did find that made things a little easier was putting the computer in the bedroom. We have a TV in there that my wife watches, while I'll be on the computer. We aren't doing the same thing but we're haging out together.
Playing X360 in the lounge room for the same amount of time tends to get up her nose more than me doing the exact same thing in the bedroom... go figure.