The Lighter Side - THEY TOOK OUR JOBS!!!

Over the last decade, more and more jobs have been lost to outsourcing, and illegal immigrants.It is becoming harder and harder for families to keep jobs, not just in North America, but in all parts of the world.

Shocked then, were we, when we found out who, or should I say what, Blizzard was employing.

Official Blizzard Quote:

From the Blizzard Community Team -
Think that's just an innocent picture of the community team posing?
Look again... to the right, no, the RIGHT.
Yeah, inside those red circles.

Unmistakable evidence that Blizzard is hiring PUPPETS!
Yes, puppets.

They are able to do the work of several employees, at a much lower salary. Puppets don't eat, they don't sleep, and their bodies are not plagued with the various problems of our human bodies. The only thing they need, is the occasional wash and dry cleaning, and they're set to work another month straight. They don't even have voices to report any workplace abuse, they're the perfect employees.

Our highly trained detective team (Myself, armed with google) turned up some interesting information on these two individuals, who we now know are named Stukov, and Santiago.
Pictured to the left, is Alexi, the father of Stukov. Alexi immigrated in the late 50's, fleeing the race riots of the southern Ukraine. It was never publicized in North America, but at the time, the Ukraine was being torn apart by Puppet-Human tension. Puppets had been looked down upon for years, and the tensions finally exploded when one of their most beloved leaders, Kitmer the Toad, was assassinated along with several other "fabric revolutionists". The streets were flooded with rioting puppets, and Alexi could not put keep his family safe through such a tremulous time, and loaded himself, his family, and his belongings onto the first boat bound for North America.

Stukov was born in 1972, and despite being such an outsider in school, rose to the top in all of his academic endeavours, eventually earning a university degree in Psychology. However, he could not find work, as patients were reluctant to confide in an untalking, unblinking, unmoving puppet. In a state of depression, Stukov turned to video games to pass the time by. He became addicted, and his social life burned around him as he eviscerated demons in his own computer world. His depression culminated in a spurt of self mutilation, in which Stukov removed his googly eyes, replacing them with symbolic button eyes. He blamed Blizzard (the maker of his favourite game, Diablo) for his problems, and sought out their corporate headquarters. When he arrived, the complaint department found that Stukov possessed no voice with which to voice his complaints, and thus, no voice with which to report workplace abuse. He was hired on the spot.

Santiago lived a much more colourful life than Stukov, growing up in urban Nuevo Laredo (a town in Mexico, skirting the US border), he was quickly recruited into a local gang. He grew up in a world of drugs, guns, and violence. He busted his first cap at the age of seven, and began pimping out local strippers when he was 12. He thought he was living the high life, until a drug bust put him on the receiving end of a lengthy prison term. Rather than face the realities of prison life for a puppet, he fled the country, and made his way for the US border.

Santiago, pictured to the right, made it into the USA at the age of 21. He had to start anew, with nothing to show for wealth, or clothing. He spent the next few years of his life begging for change in California, slowly saving up enough money to buy himself a gun. As luck would have it, Blizzard's headquarters was in a nearby town, and Santiago was discovered on the streets by none other than Bashiok, who offered Santiago a job on the motion capture team, as he possessed the body of one of the beats from World of Warcraft. Santiago accepted, and, when he isn't using his misshapen form to mimic the movements of a real life Griffon, turns his attention towards the community.

While some would call these heart warming stories of acceptance and overcoming adversity, of two puppets facing the world of humans, and succeeding despite their lack of blood, sweat, or even tears.

But, it still doesn't change the fact that THEY TOOK OUR JOBS!!!!


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