I know I'm late to the party, but I just saw this film, and here are my two cents.
So it starts off alright, and I was thinking "hmm, this could actually be good". It wasn't. It wasn't at all. I knew the plot was shaky before I watched it, but man, it was fucking terrible. A guy roaming America to get a bible, which by the way is written in fucking braille, to the West Side. He's been walking for THIRTY FUCKING YEARS. Seriously? It takes 30 years to reach the West Coast? I think he should have searched for a map instead of relying on faith for directions, because obviously, faith was as fucking blind as he was.
So good ol' Eli was sleeping, with the shotgun in his lap. Mila Kunis approaches, and he wakes up on edge. He cocks the shotgun after telling her to GTFO, and sleeps. He wakes up, she wakes up, they keep walking and stumble upon a house. Denzel's spidey senses tingle, and he senses danger. What does he do? He cocks the fucking shotgun again :| YOU ALREADY COCKED IT YOU MORON.
On another occasion, Denzel is surrounded by about 10 men holding all kinds of guns. He keeps walking, gets shot in the back, then shot in the neck. He doesn't bleed, he doesn't even fucking flinch. He turns around, shoots about 50 bullets from a handgun killing virtually everybody. Now, all sorts of things happen, but the remaining men, and the leader of said men meet up with him on another location. The leader, good ol' mister Gary Oldman shoots our protagonist in the stomach. I'm thinking "LOL..THIS DUDE GOT SHOT IN THE NECK AND DIDN'T MOVE, A SHOT IN THE STOMACH WON'T DO JACK SHIT, LOL". Denzel drops to his knees, and faints. I don't even know where to fucking begin. Did God give up on him? Was he busy having an angel orgy to notice that his main man got shot again? He saved him once, but now he doesn't. Why? I have absolutely no idea. Inconsistency sucks.
Let's take a break and go into another area of discussion. We all know Motorola sucks. What does Motorola do in that case? They give the producers of the movie a megaphone with "Motorola" written on it, some bling bling, and the MOTOROLA insignia is thrown in our faces in the film. Seriously? A blockbuster with such blatant advertisements? The Motorola ad was just one of several other ads for different companies. Seriously idiotic.
Now, Denzey and the ever so fucking hot Mila get together again in a beat up Volvo (I think) car. The bad guys are in another car, and they decide to go back to their little town because they don't have enough gas to chase the good guys. On the other hand, the Volvo was apparently running on a futuristic motor, more than likely the Continuom Transfunctioner. They make all the way from the desert, to fucking San Fransisco. Amazing.
Now, I mentioned that Denzel got shot in the stomach, right? Yeah, he makes it all the way to San Fransisco, and fucking ROWS THE BOAT midway to Alcatraz, but since he got too tired and was in too much pain, our bitch Mila finally decides to row in his stead. Dude is shot, rows the boat halfway across, and the bitch is just sitting there. WHAT THE FUCK DUDE?
The Flash? More like The Gay. We don't get nearly enough information about what the fuck happened, why the fuck people went around burning bibles, NOTHING. He's just there, trying to get a bible to the West Side.
Fuck this movie, dude.
- Party_Foul
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Member for 15 years, 3 months, and 29 days
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Mephisto's Lament posted a message on Why did princess Diana cross the road?Because she didn't have her seatbelt on. :|Posted in: Off-Topic -
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Donsro posted a message on Presenting, The DiabloFans User AwardsDude, it's cool. 13 got the job done. It's not like the results would have been different with any more.Posted in: Off-Topic -
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Lt._Venom posted a message on Crimson Harvest - Story ThreadWith the door to the cage ripped off, Scorpius steps out and leaps to a tall tree. Climbing quickly, he reaches the top and summons his longbow Stinger. He then looks down and starts picking off demons one by one, an arrow for each as the toxins leech into demons' blood and rip apart their veins, leaving only when their racked bodies finally drop into the pool of blood that is dripping from their every orifice.Posted in: Roleplaying -
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Nacho_ijp posted a message on Solutions to the great Inactivity of '10I know I got the no-activity syndrome... but I blame party... he changed his name and everything blew up...Posted in: General Discussion (non-Diablo)
nah, kidding... but I think that the changes in the forum were kind of a punch in the face for some regular users (I felt very uncomfortable with it at the beginning and I still feel it awkward... maybe it was too sudden) anyway... I'm getting back and I'll make my best effort to contribute to the forums... cowking's word -
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Zhar posted a message on The Caption CompetitionThat's what you get for being out of the kitchen.Posted in: Off-Topic -
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Siaynoq posted a message on Stealing D3 From BlizzconOh you guys. Just throw a bunch of energy drinks and Slim Jims into a crowd of WoW fans and as they fight over it and security tries to break it all up, get in there and take the copy.Posted in: Off-Topic -
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Mephisto's Lament posted a message on 4 yearsPosted in: Off-Topic
Strikes? We basically just show you up as the ridiculously lame poster you are every single time, and you never learn. You always do the exact same shit. We didn't bring you up ONCE in this thread, yet you took a slag at me for no reason. When you PM'd me, I told you to quit your regular bullshit, and I wouldn't even bother speaking about you, because you mean as little to me as the beggar around the curb. I only do what I do because it's so easy to make you look petty, and you basically just ruin your image by posting bullshit posts that noone think are "cool" or anything in some lame attempt to take a hit at me or show me off when in fact nearly everyone on this forum thinks that I'm a great poster and you're a complete failure. I'm not trolling or flaming you, I'm just making everything crystal clear, because I'm seriously fed up with all of your bullshit and all the shit you direct at me. If you did it in a manner that was decent, it would be fun to argue with you, but NONE of the points that you attempt to make are remotely good..NONE. You just come out as a butthurt poster who is insanely jealous that I'm 10 times the user he can every hope of becoming.
Give it a break, brah. Go exhale or sigh or do whatever lame ass thing you do. -
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Zhar posted a message on Twilight, what's wrong with it?Oh my god... what ISN'T wrong with Twilight?Posted in: General Discussion (non-Diablo)
I've only seen the movie, thank god, was exposed to it due to my girlfriend, thankfully she completely abandoned the series after watching that piece of shit.
... But anyways.
First off, I'm going to be examining the movie in particular, as I don't know enough about the books to pass a accurate judgement.
Anywho, the acting, oh my god, the acting.
The chick who played Bella: Licking her lips, and biting her lips are basically the only things she knows how to do. Watch the movie and watch for these two things, you'll see them an absurd amount of times. Literally no acting range outside of those two moves, she's just terrible.
Dude who played the main vampire: Like chick-who-played-Bella, this guy had barely any acting range. He stares and broods, with the occasional nonchalant smile. Whoever told him he could act should be shot.
Tom Cruise: Once more, plays Tom Cruise.
Every other actor, aside from the father: Easily forgettable, archetypal, nothing really stood out aside from their gimmicky shit.
Next, is the believability. I know suspension of disbelief is necessary in a LOT of movies, and I have no problem with it. Hell, I managed to do it with Avatar, but the difference between Avatar and Twilight was that Avatar was semi-entertaining. Twilight on the other hand, tries to cram a book's worth of emotional bonding into a shabby film. She dates him, knowing he's like 500 years old, and fucking eats people.
Which, brings me to aknowledge Equinox's point. In most cases, I'd be a sexist, but this is just absurd. Bella especially is portrayed as useless, a trophy to be won, naive, with her emotions and sense of "love" clouding emotions, and rational thought. Worst character ever, period.
I don't even remember where I was going with this rant, but I'm going to stop, this is boring me already. -
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Nekrodrac posted a message on Your own WTF of the day.Dunno what went through my fucking head today... I put coffee in my cereals.Posted in: Off-Topic
It was fucking disgusting! :whoops: - To post a comment, please login or register a new account.
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Ahhh good old Zhar.
So hows business been lately Stormcat?
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"My god.... it's all clear now. The people we fought, they couldn't have even been militia, let alone soldiers. Riddia must have forced their own townsmen to fight, while their forces came in and destroyed Tappas. How could a town be so.... evil ?"Warick heard Ingis say under his breath. "Savages" Warick uttered.
"I can't believe it, Come on, let's look in the church. Maybe someone can tell us why the Riddians would do this." Warick began to follow Jamis and the others toward the church. He noticed a trail of blood leading to them there. He shuddered but continued on. When they finally reached the church Ingis opened the doors with much force. Startling the townspeople causing them to scream and cower. "You didn't think to maybe come in a little more calmly Ingis?" Warick said as he desperately tried to lighten the mood.
Warick looked into the eyes of the townspeople. The brutality. Men, women, children. How could those people be so heartless. he thought as he began to shake with rage. These people... they're broken... they will never be the same.
Warick walked up to a small child, no older than 5, and kneeled in front of him. The child let out a whimper and cowered into his mothers arms. "Its okay." Warick said to the child "I'm here to help you." The child looked at him. "You mean, you aren't here to kill me. Like they did to daddy?" the young boy said as a tears streamed down his face.
"No." Warick said, as he began to choke up. He looked up at the mother of the boy. "Could you please tell me what happened?"
"They came from the West. The burned everything.... Varlan... h-he tried to stop them. But th- they...." The woman began to sob uncontrollably.
Warick calmed the woman down and looked at he in the eyes "I promise you.... His death will be avenged. Those people of Ridda will be met by a slow and painful death." Warick said to the woman as he got up and regrouped with the knights. "It can never be simple can it?" Warick said under his breath as he waited for the next order from Jamis.
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And some - rep for "creating an obnoxious thread" (My 1 Million post thread)
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2. Aces High- Iron Maiden
3. Hell Bent For Leather- Judas Priest
4. Holy Wars.... The Punishment Due-Megadeth
5. Rainbow In The Dark- Dio
6. Walk- Pantera
7. Ace of Spades- Motorhead
8. The Trooper- Iron Maiden
9. Five Magics- Megadeth
10. Creeping Death- Metallica