@Scyber - Some of your ideas are a little unrealistic. For example, Nomads that invade cities? I figured Nomads were nomadic so that they could continue their traditions in peace. What goal would they achieve in slaughtering city guards?
Skepticism aside - time to start.
The Witch Hunter
Origin: Lut Gholein
Lore: For the citizens of Lut Gholein, the assault from the Arcane Sanctum had proven to be a grim reminder of the power wielded by those who manipulated magic. The demons had rampaged their way through the palace harem, chasing down and slaughtering all humans who stood in their path. Luckily though, a hero had rushed in and stemmed the tide of evil, slaying the magician in charge of the assault and saving the city from imminent defeat. Despite the victorious outcome, the damage had been done. Dozens of women, many of them mothers, had been ruthlessly killed. The orphans were taken in and cared for by the surviving women, but many grew restless, desiring vengeance. Mentally scarred by the atrocities they had witnessed in the Harem, they joined the local sell swords, where they trained to become battle hardened soldiers capable of defending themselves. Yet, as the years went by, hatred for all things magical grew in their hearts. Within the mercenary ranks, they honed their combat skills, and a few pledged themselves to the hunt of those spellcasters who had robbed them of so much.
They became the Witch Hunters, warriors who dedicated themselves to keeping radical sorcerers and spell weavers in line.
Skill Trees
Gambits - Unlike other Assassins, the Witch Hunter rarely has time to set traps and must often think on the move. After all, a Wizard will likely flee for his life after catching a glimpse of the Witch Hunter.To compensate for this, the Witch Hunter is well-learned in both slowing poisons and violent explosives.
- Poison Missile - The Witch Hunter fires a explosive-tipped dart that detonates on contact, throwing poison into the air. The projectile both damages and poisons the target and those immediately around him. The poison slows those affected by 25%.
- Concoction Barrage - If ever the Hunter is caught in a tight corner by many foes, the last trick up his sleeve is to throw a hand held artillery barrage of explosive potions in a tight radius around him.
Imposing Stature - Being both dedicated and fearless, the Witch Hunters are skilled leaders and masterful warriors - using both bows and spears in combat. Combat, for them, is always retaining the element of surprise. With their imposing appearance, they inspire allies and strike fear into the hearts of foes.
- Tree contains both passive skills and auras -
(I'm a little tired to list examples of skills, I'll do them later.)
Combat Mastery - As hunters of those who wield the Arcane, it is understandable that the Witch Hunter has complete mastery of his tools.
Piercing Shot - The Witch Hunter fires a deadly dart, specially tipped to glide through flesh and bone and continue traveling.
Sweeping Strike - Using his spear, the Witch Hunter sweeps around him - either knocking back or slashing those foes caught in its path.
Whew, I figured I may as well tie a class in that could be a consequence of the events of Diablo 2.
Fan Fiction Title: Adflict, Lord of Torment
Part/Chapter: 1/2
Score:8/10
Review: I enjoyed reading the first two chapters of Adflict; however, I found them relatively short and slightly devoid of plot. For example, the second chapter is really bare bones, and doesn't really help advance the storyline much. Sure, the main character is introduced (rather vaguely, at that), but just as we begin to get a sense of the conflict that is escalating, we're cut off - forced to wait until the third chapter. I suggest going back and adding some more meat to it, describing the main character physically some more would help. Another gripe I had was with the description of Adflict, as I found him not that realistic. If you were a true Lord of Torment, you would have an entourage, yes? Make his entrance into the Sanctuary more flashy and dramatic. Jennice and Jenna's deaths lacked a lot of human qualities about them as well, such as screaming. A true Lord of Torment would live for the heart-wrenching screams, I believe.
Anyway, I hope you find this useful to your writing : D. Keep it up.
Fan Fiction Title: A Great Recruitment Policy
Part/Chapter: The story in its entirety
Score: 7/10
Review: While certainly being packed with both great and grim action scenes, "A Great Recruitment Policy" lacks believable characters and scenes. I, for one, disliked how the protagonist had the emotional depth of a puddle, and the intelligence of a rock. It just makes it difficult for me to bond with the main character. Maybe after fighting through a cave of demons, the character would become more and more cautious? Perhaps, for your next story, you could also work on describing the setting a little more. In my minds eye, I found Zelata to be little more than a collection of huts with a large house in the middle. In summary, you had great, vivid action scenes - but need to work a bit more on your writing.
I'm a big fan of luck-of-the-draw effects - unpredictable things that can positively or negatively affect a certain spell randomly. Yeah, I could really like a "Gambit" rune : D
Aren't Belial and Azmodan currently fighting over who has the rightful rule of Hell? If so, I wouldn't mind seeing some quests in which we get to side with a lesser evil and watch him seize power.
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Scroll down, fool.
My first impression was the monster the barbarian was pouncing on was some kind of demonic t-rex.
I liked it lol.
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@Scyber - Some of your ideas are a little unrealistic. For example, Nomads that invade cities? I figured Nomads were nomadic so that they could continue their traditions in peace. What goal would they achieve in slaughtering city guards?
Skepticism aside - time to start.
The Witch Hunter
Origin: Lut Gholein
Lore: For the citizens of Lut Gholein, the assault from the Arcane Sanctum had proven to be a grim reminder of the power wielded by those who manipulated magic. The demons had rampaged their way through the palace harem, chasing down and slaughtering all humans who stood in their path. Luckily though, a hero had rushed in and stemmed the tide of evil, slaying the magician in charge of the assault and saving the city from imminent defeat. Despite the victorious outcome, the damage had been done. Dozens of women, many of them mothers, had been ruthlessly killed. The orphans were taken in and cared for by the surviving women, but many grew restless, desiring vengeance. Mentally scarred by the atrocities they had witnessed in the Harem, they joined the local sell swords, where they trained to become battle hardened soldiers capable of defending themselves. Yet, as the years went by, hatred for all things magical grew in their hearts. Within the mercenary ranks, they honed their combat skills, and a few pledged themselves to the hunt of those spellcasters who had robbed them of so much.
They became the Witch Hunters, warriors who dedicated themselves to keeping radical sorcerers and spell weavers in line.
Skill Trees
Gambits - Unlike other Assassins, the Witch Hunter rarely has time to set traps and must often think on the move. After all, a Wizard will likely flee for his life after catching a glimpse of the Witch Hunter.To compensate for this, the Witch Hunter is well-learned in both slowing poisons and violent explosives.
- Poison Missile - The Witch Hunter fires a explosive-tipped dart that detonates on contact, throwing poison into the air. The projectile both damages and poisons the target and those immediately around him. The poison slows those affected by 25%.
- Concoction Barrage - If ever the Hunter is caught in a tight corner by many foes, the last trick up his sleeve is to throw a hand held artillery barrage of explosive potions in a tight radius around him.
Imposing Stature - Being both dedicated and fearless, the Witch Hunters are skilled leaders and masterful warriors - using both bows and spears in combat. Combat, for them, is always retaining the element of surprise. With their imposing appearance, they inspire allies and strike fear into the hearts of foes.
- Tree contains both passive skills and auras -
(I'm a little tired to list examples of skills, I'll do them later.)
Combat Mastery - As hunters of those who wield the Arcane, it is understandable that the Witch Hunter has complete mastery of his tools.
Piercing Shot - The Witch Hunter fires a deadly dart, specially tipped to glide through flesh and bone and continue traveling.
Sweeping Strike - Using his spear, the Witch Hunter sweeps around him - either knocking back or slashing those foes caught in its path.
Whew, I figured I may as well tie a class in that could be a consequence of the events of Diablo 2.
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Part/Chapter: 1/2
Score:8/10
Review: I enjoyed reading the first two chapters of Adflict; however, I found them relatively short and slightly devoid of plot. For example, the second chapter is really bare bones, and doesn't really help advance the storyline much. Sure, the main character is introduced (rather vaguely, at that), but just as we begin to get a sense of the conflict that is escalating, we're cut off - forced to wait until the third chapter. I suggest going back and adding some more meat to it, describing the main character physically some more would help. Another gripe I had was with the description of Adflict, as I found him not that realistic. If you were a true Lord of Torment, you would have an entourage, yes? Make his entrance into the Sanctuary more flashy and dramatic. Jennice and Jenna's deaths lacked a lot of human qualities about them as well, such as screaming. A true Lord of Torment would live for the heart-wrenching screams, I believe.
Anyway, I hope you find this useful to your writing : D. Keep it up.
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Part/Chapter: The story in its entirety
Score: 7/10
Review: While certainly being packed with both great and grim action scenes, "A Great Recruitment Policy" lacks believable characters and scenes. I, for one, disliked how the protagonist had the emotional depth of a puddle, and the intelligence of a rock. It just makes it difficult for me to bond with the main character. Maybe after fighting through a cave of demons, the character would become more and more cautious? Perhaps, for your next story, you could also work on describing the setting a little more. In my minds eye, I found Zelata to be little more than a collection of huts with a large house in the middle. In summary, you had great, vivid action scenes - but need to work a bit more on your writing.
A nice beginning.
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Maybe help Azmodan overthrow Belial, then stab Azmodan in the back?
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Personally, if that isn't the case, I'd love to see the grayish-blue tint that Oblivion Dungeons had. Those were creepy as hell!
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You'll notice the "KL:" isn't beside the person's quote, so they probably never acknowledged PCG's question.
Chances are, it's a fake.
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