Obsessive Thoughts - Pure O/OCD

  • #1
    Greetings!

    My girlfriend's grandmother recently passed away, and it left a huge emotional scar on her. Since then, she started to have these intrusive thoughts about her best friend from high school and college. The thoughts themselves are of obsessive nature. She's constantly on her mind, and when I say constantly, I literally mean 24h a day. I would like to mention that her friend was getting a lot on her nerves lately due to her friend's competing nature, and that she was jealous of everything that was happening in my girlfriend's life.

    Now imagine that after all that, you start to have thoughts about her that are basically telling you that you can't live without her and that she is someone very important in your life. My girlfriend and I are now eight years in a relationship, and she never had any doubt about her sexuality. But nowadays, she's constantly panicking and questioning her sexuality, and all because of those obsessive thoughts.

    I just wanted to ask if anyone has had experience with this disorder, or knows someone who has? I will appreciate any help or advice.

    I just wanted to add that she visited the psychiatrist four times, but to no avail. She has a scheduled appointment with a psychologist next month and we'll see how that will turn out.
    Rísta - ráða
    Fá - freista
    Biðja - blóta
    Senda - sóa

  • #2
    Man if you are serious then the internet is not the place to go for help, especially a gaming web site, if your joking ,you got me, but talking to a real life health care professional will help, talking here will not . Good luck man
  • #3
    He was probably looking to get some sympathy from another diablofan. It's good that your GF have an appointment with a doctor but to be serious. The internet and diablofans is probably not the best place for questions and discussions like this. There are alot of forums for people who are close to affected people.
    Make your peace...Quickly!
  • #4
    I am not looking for help nor sympathy. I was asking if anyone had experience with these things, and if anyone did, I just thought they could share it. That is all.

    You don't have to tell me that this is a gaming web site, I've been here longer than both of you.
    Rísta - ráða
    Fá - freista
    Biðja - blóta
    Senda - sóa

  • #5
    From the information you provided it sounds to me like your girlfriend might have a PTSD caused by her grandmother passing.
    Instead of figuring out why she clings to her good friend, rationalize on an emotional level with your girlfriend instead. Don't try to convince her of how you think things are, just give her understanding and provide her the balance she probably fears losing in her life when more people die or get out of her life.
    Perhaps these confused feelings made her question her sexuality because she must have felt as well it wasn't normal to have thoughts like these and it was the go-to conclusion she reached herself.

    However, this IS a gaming forum, and I think you're going to find a lot of inexperienced people on a forum as this and should think twice before listening to anyone their advice on this topic, including mine.
    Also, what you think/what she says is going on, doesn't necessarily have to be congruent with the facts. Since you're in a relationship with her, always keep an open mind about the option she's just not telling you the truth (fear of being abandoned by you might cause this, etc).

    The thing is, you just don't know, you can't know for sure either.
    But girls reason on an emotional level, and you being there for her emotionally seems to me like the thing she's looking for. If she's thinking about a girlfriend constantly this could also be an indication that girlfriend can give her something you can't. (Imo that often is an emotional in-congruence in the relationship).

    If it doesn't work you could always shock her into realizing what she wants by breaking up with her. But I would not in good faith recommend you to do that.
    I speak on the authority of my experience with women alone. I don't have a psychology degree.
    I'm willing to ask 2 of my girlfriends that do for you though.

    According to one of my psychology girlfriends it's this:
    Well, since it was recent, she thought it was normal for her to re-evaluate her friendships after the passing of a loved one. You suddenly think about something not happening in your environment usually. That feeling fades by talking about it with you and with friends, but it's normal to focus on the people still alive afterwards. She just has to accept it as a part of life and hopefully things will be better then.
  • #6
    Thanks for the long post!

    I failed to mention that this is happening for the last eight months, so it's not that small amount of time. She is very emotional by nature and she always had difficulties with doing something for herself, she always focused on doing something that will be better for others. I always thought that if she could change those things in her life, that she would feel better.
    Rísta - ráða
    Fá - freista
    Biðja - blóta
    Senda - sóa

  • #7
    I guess the only thing that I can add is that I have a rare form of OCD (repugnant thought disorder). For this the only real solution is "exposure", allowing the thoughts to happen because trying to suppress them is actually what causes them to reoccur over and over.

    With your girlfriend this doesnt really quite sound like OCD. Although the thoughts are obsessive they dont seem to be related to routine, fear of cleanliness, fear of violence, sexual depravity or blasphemy. It sounds like a response to an extreme fear of death and loss.

    My 2 cents, your girlfriend has death anxiety. The only real way to cope with this is to understand that death is inevitable and part of life and there is nothing to do to control it. A tall order I know.

    Hope this helps.
  • #8
    Threesome with the best friend? You're welcome. Apologies for the bluntness, but I am really thrown off by the questioning of her sexuality. I've never had experience or even heard of anything like that, at least from a grandparent passing. Explain this to her, explain how when you're grandfather passed away, you didn't fantasize about John. Maybe I am completely missing the point, but i think she needs to distance herself from the friend, or else you need to distance yourself from her. I haven't known her for eight years though, so easier said than done I suppose.

  • #9
    are you sure she isn't being used as a vessel for Diablo?
  • #10
    Quote from RockmanDoom

    I guess the only thing that I can add is that I have a rare form of OCD (repugnant thought disorder). For this the only real solution is "exposure", allowing the thoughts to happen because trying to suppress them is actually what causes them to reoccur over and over.

    With your girlfriend this doesnt really quite sound like OCD. Although the thoughts are obsessive they dont seem to be related to routine, fear of cleanliness, fear of violence, sexual depravity or blasphemy. It sounds like a response to an extreme fear of death and loss.

    My 2 cents, your girlfriend has death anxiety. The only real way to cope with this is to understand that death is inevitable and part of life and there is nothing to do to control it. A tall order I know.

    Hope this helps.


    Thanks for the reply! I will show her your post and we'll see if we can get something out of it. Thanks again! :)
    Rísta - ráða
    Fá - freista
    Biðja - blóta
    Senda - sóa

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