The Lighter Side - Hardcore Gamers

Lots of players liked Hardcore mode, it provided an additional challenge, and even an adrenaline rush in some cases. Frantically running from monsters, fearing for your characters life was definitely a solid motivator, and that extra bit of fear involved pushed your clicking finger to the utter limits.

But, nobody ever looked deeper into the meaning of "Hardcore" mode. People simply thought that hardcore meant nothing more than a hardcore game experience.

As it seems, the players are WRONG!!!

Official Blizzard Quote:

You better be hardcore to play hardcore.

Damn that's catchy. Maybe I can get that put into the game. Every time you load the game there's a 5 second impassable screen with huge chrome letters and swirling multicolored lights:

"You better be hardcore to play hardcore." - Grand Master Bashiok

And then the text explodes and you can play the game.

Little did we know, that this mode was ACTUALLY intended for hardcore people. Oh, how foolish we were, assuming that hardcore mode was intended for us, the average gamer. In reality, this mode was meant for people like King Leonidas, Bruce Lee, and Henry Rollins. We intruded in their world, and we will always be at fault.


If you're not a hardcore person, there are steps that can be taken to simply seem hardcore. All you need to do, is look at others who are hardcore, and mimic their clothing, or their actions if possible. The goal here is not to actually BE hardcore, but to fool the game into thinking you're hardcore.

First off, is this so called "Hardcore Dancing". Kids who do this, are seriously hardcore. Flailing their arms around and kicking at air, usually when surrounded by people trying to enjoy a concert. They take what would normally be an enjoyable evening at a concert, and completely ruin it by bludgeoning those around them, making people spread out, and generally cause a scene.

Pictured above and to the left, is a hardcore dancer in action. Note the various tattoos, the flailing pose, and the skull T-shirt. This is the apparel you need to be hardcore, and it can easily be done on a budget. If you're not one for pain, you can simply get your hands on some temporary tattoos, and stick them on when you're about to play hardcore mode (Be sure to verify that you're getting hardcore temporary tattoos, if you end up with butterflies and flowers all over your arms, then you're more like a hippy, and thus, not worthy of playing hardcore mode). Make sure to wear a hardcore looking T-shirt, as well, lest the game reject you. Anything with skulls, guns, even dead babies will do. The pose, can be difficult. Maintaining the flailing pose can be rather difficult to do when you need to click, so be sure to take regular breaks from the game to "Hardcore Dance" near the computer.

However, if hardcore dancing is not your thing, then another viable method exists. Pictured to the right, is King Leonidas. He killed like... twelve billion Persians, with a sharp metal stick, wearing nothing but a speedo, a cape, and a helmet. Obviously, taking this many lives while so scantily clad qualifies one as being "hardcore". Add in the fact that he did it surrounded by muscled dudes, also wearing speedos, capes, and helmets, and you've got what could be the most hardcore gathering of people the world has ever seen.

But, if you're like me, then you don't have a supply of 12 billion Persians readily available. So, much like the hardcore dancer approach, you simply need to look like a spartan to pass off as a spartan, and thus, to look hardcore. The speedo is easy enough, simply go buy a speedo. The cape, also easy, as any towel can pass off as a cape when properly secured around your neck. The helmet, however, may be a bit of an obstacle. Costume stores are always a good place to look, but, if you're on a budget, then cereal boxes can be cut and taped to form the shape of a helmet. Make sure to have the grey inside of the box facing outwards, lest your helmet have a leprechaun or smiling honey bee on it.

Thus, with either approach, one can feign being hardcore, and be qualified to play hardcore mode. Just remember, you don't have to be hardcore, you simply have to look hardcore.


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