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    posted a message on The Verbose Meme Game
    Quote from Jetrall

    Original: "I think I'm lost. Can you help me?"

    Verbose: "I believe the actual coordinates of the current location may be in disharmony with my assumption on the latter. Will you be able to provide me with some means to resolve this matter?"

    Original: "Plump women makes me horny."
    Posted in: Off-Topic
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    posted a message on D3 Wizard Pony
    Wow, this is a powerful drawing.
    I was looking at those adorable eyes and it made strange feelings wake up inside me.

    I had this almost overwhelming desire to rip out the horn and stab it into the belly. Then after making this precise stabbing pattern that will eventually build into a beautiful incision opening the whole side of the animal,I will watch as the entrails pour out on the ground.

    Like I said, cute pony. I wish I had one.
    +1 from me.

    My only criticism is that she's not wearing heels. Where are her heels?
    Posted in: Fan Art
  • 3

    posted a message on If you believe in that Mayan calendar stuff...
    Quote from Kildeer888

    I think this is just a coincidence cause in Denmark we write it like this: dd/mm/yyyy as opposed to mm/dd/yyyy.
    Isn't the result still the same? I mean if you write it as 11/09/01 (110901) + 10/03/11 (100311), you still get 21st of December 2012 (211212---21/12/12)....
    Am I missing some numerology thingy here?

    Anyway, I have never met anybody who actually believe in that thing. Like seriously believed in it. Still, it would be fun imagining the end of the world in a year or so and consequently all the things you would do differently.

    Personally, I would start getting stuff for my joint from Jamoose's source. His posts are awesome.
    Posted in: Off-Topic
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    posted a message on Fairy Tales Revisited. Part deux: Little Red Riding Hood.
    Hello there. It's me- Mr Narrator. While browsing through these forums, I realized the terrible and saddening situation that has befallen our fellow users. They seem to paddle in ignorance and have forgotten the perennial morals and values of our good old fairy tales. However, this need not continue.
    So, in my great generosity and compassion, I have decided to spare some of my time and infinite wisdom to tell you of the stories that have graced our childhood, and also reveal the shocking truths that your parents could not tell you due to the blissful innocence of your then unblemished minds.

    Our second story is that of ‘The red little riding hood’. Never has the stigma associated with appearance been so tragic. So much so, that people even forgot the real name of the poor little girl in our story. Her name was actually Stormcat or as called by her friends- Stormy.
    Alas, this was not the only thing misconstrued or forgotten.
    So today, we shall delve into what really happened and determine the moral of this epic tale.

    Once upon a time in a country far far away, there was a little girl called Stormy. She lived with her mother in a house at the periphery of a secluded village.
    The road that ran close to their front door, continued only a few more yards before plunging into the forest that surrounded this small settlement of farmers.
    In these times, it was common to send young and defenseless girls into beasts-infested forests to see their grandmothers.

    Narrator- Indeed, there were even acclaimed and greatly-respected bookmakers within villages who would take bets on the survival of these little girls.

    And so it was that on a fine Saturday morning, Stormy’s mother called her from the living room,
    “Brat, come here!”
    Stormy- “Yes, kindly and beloved mother. Do you need me?”
    Mother- “Obviously, duh! Why would I call you if I didn’t need you, eh? Anyway let’s cut the crap and get down to business here. I need you to deliver some cookies to your grandma. She’s sick and cannot cook. I am sure the nutritious value of these cookies will be able to sustain her for weeks, maybe even years…”
    The caring and compassionate mother thus carefully wrapped half a dozen cookies and put them in a basket along with some lemonade juice before giving it to her daughter.
    Stormy picking up her favorite green cloak prepared to set off but was stopped by her mother.
    “Oh dear, why are you wearing this horrible cloak? Here, take this red one. You look prettier in it.”
    “But mother, won’t I be really conspicuous in such clothing?”
    “Of course not, you daft girl.”
    “But mother, aren’t there supposed to be wolves in the forest?”
    “Come on, you silly girl. Wolves? You have listened to too many stories…”
    “But mother…”
    “Oh for God’s sake, just shut up and go already, will you?”

    Following this very emotional and teary departure, our Stormy waved her mother goodbye and walked along the road that would take her into the forest.

    The latter indeed held some fearsome beasts. Among them, notoriously infamous was Umpa, the green monster or as his street name went- Reptar. He preyed mercilessly on any weaker creatures, devouring their flesh and keeping the bones to scratch his back or use as toothpick.
    Right then as our story began, Reptar was chasing a wolf. Though he moved on two legs, his speed was unmatched around these parts for he religiously trained everyday and had acquired deadly predatory skills. The wolf succumbing to the poisonous bite of the vile creature gave a last howl-
    “Aaaooowwoooooo….whaaaaat the heeeeeeeckkkkkk!?! Thiiiiiissss waaaaaaaasn’t iiinnnnnn the scriiiiiiipttt...”
    And died.

    While Umpa was ripping through the flesh of his victim in frenzy, the sensitive ears of the monster picked a humming sound. It was Stormy that he was hearing and he quickly understood that some fresh and easy victim had entered the woods. However, he dared not approach the road for even among the beasts, there were the rumors of a demon who lurked there and dragged off its victims to consume. Whether true or not, Reptar was not about to risk his neck, especially when he had a freshly caught meal right in front of him.

    Stormy was happily strolling along the road, humming to herself and with not a care in the world, having already eaten half the cookies she was meant to bring her grandma. The sugar rush did not help. She was now dancing and hopping everywhere and had forgotten the safety of the road. For she knew very well, that the dangers of the forest would never touch a person for as long as they remained on the path.
    This knowledge was widespread among the villagers and while they themselves did not understand it, they knew that some ‘power’ held the beasts at bay. But that was only if one stayed on the road.
    Straying slowly but surely from the path, Stormy soon became lost and when she realized it, she was alone, surrounded by gnarled trees which darkened the place with their menacing shadows. Reptar, who has been quietly watching his potential prey almost literally walking into his claws, guffawed maniacally. Seeing he had the obvious advantage over his victim, he decided to play around a bit more with his food.
    Sneakily, he approached Stormy from behind and put his cruel paw on her shoulder. The latter jumped slightly and spun around. She was met with the sight of a drooling creature with ravenous purple eyes.
    She let out a sigh of relief. Finally she thought- someone to help her. But then she reconsidered and said-
    “Why are you drooling and looking at me like that? Are you a pervert?”

    Taken aback by the apparent calm of the little girl, Reptar exclaimed- “What? Of…of course NOT! ”
    “It…it’s just how I normally look,” he added defensively.
    Stormy- “Oh I’m so sorry sir. I was just a little surprised. I am lost. Will you help me?”

    Reptar- “Uhm…err…ya….sure.”

    Stormy- “I need to get back on the road. Do you know the way.”

    Finally snapping back to reality after this unusual conversation and response from his prey, Reptar put on his most suave voice-

    “Certainly, my child. And where may you be heading like that?”

    Stormy narrowed her eyes-
    “Why do you want to know that?”

    Reptar- “Well if you are heading for your village, I can show you a shortcut.”

    Stormy- “But why?”

    Reptar- “Well…it’s for your own good. There will be less walking this way and you’ll get home quicker.”

    Stormy- “But why?”

    Reptar- “Err…I just explained to you why.”

    Stormy- “Oh sorry. It’s just a silly habit of mine to ask questions repeatedly. I can see you are a kind person. Furthermore, you are green and that’s my favorite color!”

    She proceeded to explain to Umpa where she was heading and how she got lost (while carefully omitting that she ate most of the cookies).

    Reptar considered for a moment and then decided that this was too good an opportunity to pass: a defenseless little girl and her sick grandma.
    After explaining to Stormy how to get back on the road, he went back to the dead wolf, salted the meat and put it to dry in the sun.
    Looking at the delicious strips of flesh, he said- “I’ll have you for dessert” and dashed to grandma’s house, using a real short cut and following Stormy’s description of the house location.

    In the meantime grandma was making out with grandpa, having already recovered from her brief sickness. Her house had 4 rooms and a basement- where she was, undertaking some PG18-worthy series of moves.
    And so when Reptar reached the house, he was surprised to see no one in sight. Greatly annoyed, he didn’t even notice the short staircase that led to the basement or even the muffled noises that came from it.
    Instead while searching frantically the 4 rooms, he came across grandma’s wardrobe. Fascinated, he started trying out her clothes while admiring himself in the mirror.
    The minutes quickly slipped by and suddenly he heard a familiar humming. Quickly recovering from this transvestic lapse in consciousness, he said-
    “Oh well, at least one is still on the menu. Hehehe….let her come to grandma then,” and jumped into the bed with grandma’s gown on, pulling up the covers over himself in the process.

    Stormy knocked on the door and the disguised voice of Umpa called for her to enter.
    Putting the nearly-empty basket on the table in the kitchen, Stormy went to see her grandma.

    “Oh, what happened to your boobies, granny? They look pointy. Is it the illness that is making them like that?

    “No, you silly. It’s just the covers. Here, now you can see everything is alright,” said Reptar, flattening the covers.

    “But why is everything so flat now…? Even I, a little girl..”

    “Now now young lady, what kind of talk is that? You are being very rude.”

    “Sorry granny. Oh I wanted to ask you- why is the sky blue?”

    “That is because the day it was ordered, that was the only color available, honey.”

    “Why are rocks hard?”

    “Oh for God’s sake…”

    And with that, Reptar jumped out of bed and ripped off grandma’s gown to reveal his true self- an act he immediately regretted as he thought the gown looked really good on him.
    Tearing his mind from his tragic mistake, he flung himself on Stormy who had jumped out of the way just in time and started running around the house, shouting for help.

    Then a sharp voice (grandma) came from the basement-
    “Stormy? Is that you? Damn…I need to put my clothes back on.”

    Stormy ran down the staircase and headed for the basement. Reptar realized that was where grandma was and smiled to himself-
    “Ha! Now for the main course!”
    Stormy entered the basement and quickly shut the door behind herself. She jumped for joy when seeing her grandparents(who managed to make themselves decent except for grandpa who always only wore a white apron anyway).

    Umpa laughed to himself upon seeing the wooden door and threw his whole weight against it, causing the wood to splinter. A second bashing cause the door to wreck itself open and in came the green monster. A deep grunt met him-

    “AAahhh, fresh meat!” said grandpa.

    Umpa stared in shock at grandma, Stormy and large creature which might have been a man but for the horns on his head and blood-red eyes burning within the face. The white apron he wore was covered in blood stains and the room itself was full of mangled corpses of various beasts from the forest. In the creature’s hand was a massive cleaver which might have been responsible for all the butchering. Stormy tugged on the evil-looking being’s hand and pointed at Umpa-
    “He’s the bad person trying to jump on me and scare me, grandpa.”

    Reptar regained his wits and tried to dash for the door and out of the room. But it was to no avail as the huge cleaver thrown skillfully by grandpa impaled Umpa’s tail to the wooden floor.

    What followed cannot be described into the nitty-gritty since this story is meant for a PG-13 rating approval.
    Suffice it to say that Stormy sat with her grandparents later in the evening to enjoy grilled meat for dinner.

    The moral of the story-
    Do not name little girls or anybody for that matter by the clothes they are wearing. It’s rude.
    Or was it…Beware of green looking monsters you meet in forests…?
    Eh…perhaps it was- grilled meat is delicious.

    Anyway now that you have understood the moral of this tale, farewell my friends and may your lives be enriched by the wisdom that you have presently gained.
    Farewell...until our next tale.

    Posted in: Non-Diablo Fan Fiction
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    posted a message on Crossbows = Guns
    Quote from Lt. Venom

    For the last time, guns = gunpowder, so therefore guns = one-handed crossbows would mean one-handed crossbows = gunpowder, which doesn't work. So, in conclusion, one-hand crossbows ARE NOT guns. Argue with that logic now, bitches!!

    For the number of times you have been repeating this, I would have thought you were purposely trolling if I didn't know any better.
    I need to announce a tragic fact to you- YOU ARE NOT MAKING ANY SENSE AT ALL.

    Let me explain to you something that is having difficulty seeping through your brain. For diablo characters who could potentially shoot firebolts from their asses, specific weapon mechanics argumentation sound silly at best.
    If there were guns in diablo, what makes you think they would have been powered by gunpowder? Just like the crossbow of the DH which can fire all sorts of things through skill enhancement, if guns were in diablo they would presumably be able to do all these stuff as well. And I doubt gunpowder use can result into molten or entangling projectiles skills.
    Yes this is the world of fantasy. Some basics apply- like you wouldn't be hitting monsters on the head with a bow- but they are not as many as you think. Just like with the far-fetched, 'logical' explanations in this thread of how the DH uses xbows, you can clearly see how people can try to make 'sense' of any kind of crap.

    Now why are people saying xbows=guns?
    Because they feel like guns. The way the DH uses them is very similar to how guns are used in games(poses are akin to Devil May Cry which plays as a freaking third person shooter).
    From here on, whether you call them dual xbows or dual pinatas, to most people who are not throwing a fit when the words 'gun' and 'diablo'are in the same sentence , these xbows will be very reminiscent of guns.
    This is the reason why some are saying Blizzard have been hypocrites with their no guns in diablo. Point is, gun-type gameplay offers undeniable variety in builds and choices in skill development. This must have been the driving force behind the choice of the dual xbows which satisfies both game development needs and desperate and close-minded nerds' wishes.
    Posted in: Demon Hunter: The Dreadlands
  • 1

    posted a message on Add a Caption Contest
    I know it says speechable.com there but that's where i made the thing...

    Edit: +1 Grankvisten. That was awesome. :sorcerer:
    Posted in: Diablo III General Discussion
  • 1

    posted a message on I got pics and vids of you. Yes, you!
    He's rastafari, man.

    As Hitgirl's dad.
    Posted in: Off-Topic
  • 1

    posted a message on Religion Vs. Science
    Quote from PhrozenDragon

    Quote from Nekrodrac

    Your whole premise is flawed since you never considered the purpose. Why did God create man as man presently is? That is the real question.
    No, all-caring was included in the argument, and that would lead to a purpose. If that's so, then God would want to spare us needless suffering. Which he has not done.
    Eh no. Man was created and he leads his life as he wishes. Suffering is the consequence of man's actions. That's all there is to really, at least in my opinion. You'll understand better when I explain further.

    Quote from PhrozenDragon

    If he is not all-good but all-powerful, then he created the whole world knowing we and all forms of life in it would suffer greatly (murder, war, betrayal, physical pain, etc.) when he could have avoided it entirely.
    Since he is all-powerful, what purpose could he possibly give us? A test doesn't make any sense, since he will know from the start whether we (his creations) can complete the test or not. Anything that depends on us doing something for him cannot be the reason we exist, since he, as the all-powerful creator, will know from the start whether we can perform said task or not.
    Religion is not about what makes God happy or not. I thought I already made myself clear on that. It's a way of life- a discipline. A test(or game as I would rather call it) makes all the sense in the world if you consider free will. Some may reach the goal faster than others and there are many paths to reach that goal.
    What you are referring as an all-powerful creator, I call it the Source whereby all life forms have originated. The presence of man on Earth is his own choice and he has simply forgotten how to get back to the Source. You get beings throughout our history that know where they've come from and seek to remind us of our origin and that's what we've come to call as gods. That's also how there happens to be so many religions with varying approaches.
    Worship of that god or Source would presumably help us find our way back.
    God created man because man wanted to.
    That's my take on the matter anyway.

    Quote from PhrozenDragon

    If he is all-good but not all-powerful, then he cannot have created us. True, he could still be here and try to make our lives better, and since he's not all-powerful he might be restricted in great ways with what he can do. What what kind of God is he then?

    If he's neither, then he might well have created us, but there would be no difference between him and an alien with immense technological capabilities.

    But alright, suppose the purpose we were created for is some nebulous concept that cannot be grasped by a human mind. Even if such a purpose exist, it is a purpose for God, not for us. How does the theoretical existance of such a purpose provide any basis for human worship?

    In all of these cases in fact, the questions is what basis this provides for a religion, and for practiced worship of the deity.
    The basis of religion is to provide a discipline to reach the goal. But like I said there are many paths to that.

    Quote from PhrozenDragon

    Quote from Nekrodrac
    You forgot the pie. I'll take it you didn't get the idea. At all.
    I believe I did.

    In this case, mom is god, and the pie could be considered the world I guess, or anything a human desires.

    Your argument is that the mother cannot be held responsible for the actions of her child, since she specifically told him not to eat more than one piece of the pie. Which seems reasonable enough.

    The problem with the analogy, which is why I also didn't mention the pie, is that the mother is not perfect, and did not create her child in the same sense that God would create man. She raises her child under imperfect circumstances and with imperfect knowledge. The child is also an entity of it's own, which is why the blame here can be placed on the child.

    Consider then a computer program. If you create a computer program, and it doesn't do what you've designed it to, then it is entirely your fault and not the program. Free will is the counter-argument to this, which brings us back to the point I made above about god being either all-powerful or all-good.
    You've added too much to my simple analogy. The knowledge that the mother based her advice on was perfect. She knows how much the child should eat and how much the brat shouldn't.
    Whatever ensued is nobody but the child's fault since the choice was his. You could blame the pie for making you sick (people readily attributing everything to uncontrollable desires) or you could blame the mother for cooking the pie in the first place (blaming the Source for creating something you might have used well).
    Simple as that.
    All-powerful and all-good god has been explained above.
    Quote from PhrozenDragon

    Quote from Nekrodrac

    How did you get to the last part? About religion helping to fool people? Because God doesn't exist or is imperfect? What if He/She exists then?
    You stated that the purpose of religion was to guide and help people. Traditionally, this is supported by "God decrees it". Since you stated that religion was just a tool that could be used right however, I assumed that God was not a necessary part of it: If God does exist, fine. If he doesn't, we can spread the teachings of the religion anyway, since it's a good message. If this is the case, then it's really the message in itself that's good, and God just a story used to convince people of the usefulness of the teachings. Whether he exists or not becomes irrelevant.
    Religion without god or gods is no religion at all. Your assumption was unfounded since I specifically said that the goal of religion is God or the Source.
    Religion is a tool because I don't think it is the only way back, plus there are numerous examples of how much shit religions around the world had direct implications in because some dumbasses wrongly used it; further impressing on the concept of it being a tool or means to achieve something.
    That's about it.
    Posted in: General Discussion (non-Diablo)
  • 1

    posted a message on I got pics and vids of you. Yes, you!
    [spoil]Normal everyday Phrozen

    Phrozen going for a job interview

    Phrozen trying to lure in some new wiki sysops


    [spoil]19 years back

    15 years back

    Posted in: Off-Topic
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