I voted good. I have my holdings on rehashing the Wanderer in any form, since he was used and abused in not only Diablo II, but in various forms throughout the books. In my opinion, cloaked, hooded strangers need to be replaced with something more specific and creative.
But, that said, I realize that it was a dream, so I guess that's fine. That's the only major qualm I had, though. Besides that, I did like the bits of unique realism you weaved into your story, such as:
The curds and hominy grits were sour and slightly moldy, respectively. Everything was tainting faster than usual those days. A lunch break from the shop floor wouldn't be allowed until I had pleated another armored skirt, so I ate as much as I could, sloshing it down with a hot sassafras tea.
These are things that aren't even normally specified with such detail in best selling fantasy, or fiction in general. It's also interesting to see things from a woman's perspective, although I think more could have been done to see how she sees things from her gender, as opposed to a man's, which is overwhelmingly done in spell-and-sword fantasy.* But I suppose that if that's not a part of her character, that's not an issue. It would just be interesting, I guess.
The rapier's hilt swept into the Sisters of the Sightless Eye's standard, a lone star above rolling highlands.
Nice to see some lesser-known lore pop in
A guild miner. His pick and knapsack lay at his side, a snapped noose around his neck. His jaw gaped open and his eyeless sockets gazed up at the Heavens where his poor soul was surely approaching. He had been dead for at least a day to have served up so much flesh to the scavengers.
I have to say that I liked the way you approached this, how you wove beliefs into this tiny paragraph, how you were able to touch on Charsi's wisdom to discern the time of the corpse. Interesting.
In "How Much for the Life of a Miner?", it was also nice to see tension not coming from monsters or demons, but simple pawns of nature, doing their thing, and then you put a more sinister twist on them. Not every enemy has to be the lord sovereign of evil, which seems so prevalent in fan fiction.
Nit-picking:
I don't grudge him, a decent meal was rare.
I wouldn't use a comma there. I would use a period to stress the rarity of food, and (indirectly) stress the harshness of the human condition at this place in time and location. If not, I would "as" after the comma, since the pause doesn't sound quite correct.
Perhaps you could make Charsi's motives clearer? As I read it, she was a smith, not a miner, so why did she join the miners in their revolution? She just walks off one day because she's fed up with having nightmares? (I'm not a very good reader. I may have simply overlooked certain obvious hints.)
And now I just want to quote everything. Great job overall. There's very good competition here
* Just after typing that, I read:
Some laughed, probably at my defiant womanhood, and continued on the march.
Haha. Nevermind on that note. I'll keep it there for posterity.
But, that said, I realize that it was a dream, so I guess that's fine. That's the only major qualm I had, though. Besides that, I did like the bits of unique realism you weaved into your story, such as:
These are things that aren't even normally specified with such detail in best selling fantasy, or fiction in general. It's also interesting to see things from a woman's perspective, although I think more could have been done to see how she sees things from her gender, as opposed to a man's, which is overwhelmingly done in spell-and-sword fantasy.* But I suppose that if that's not a part of her character, that's not an issue. It would just be interesting, I guess.
Nice to see some lesser-known lore pop in
I have to say that I liked the way you approached this, how you wove beliefs into this tiny paragraph, how you were able to touch on Charsi's wisdom to discern the time of the corpse. Interesting.
In "How Much for the Life of a Miner?", it was also nice to see tension not coming from monsters or demons, but simple pawns of nature, doing their thing, and then you put a more sinister twist on them. Not every enemy has to be the lord sovereign of evil, which seems so prevalent in fan fiction.
Nit-picking:
I wouldn't use a comma there. I would use a period to stress the rarity of food, and (indirectly) stress the harshness of the human condition at this place in time and location. If not, I would "as" after the comma, since the pause doesn't sound quite correct.
Perhaps you could make Charsi's motives clearer? As I read it, she was a smith, not a miner, so why did she join the miners in their revolution? She just walks off one day because she's fed up with having nightmares? (I'm not a very good reader. I may have simply overlooked certain obvious hints.)
And now I just want to quote everything. Great job overall. There's very good competition here
* Just after typing that, I read:
Haha. Nevermind on that note. I'll keep it there for posterity.