It's pretty good I think. But I'm not an expert on Diablo lore. It's a good story, but I don't know if it fits Diablo well or not.
I'm not sure if there are, or could be alchemists in Diablo lore or not. As well, I'm not sure if the destruction of the worldstone is followed up there. As I said I'm not great with Diablo lore. I expect Siaynoq will pick it apart though. It's inevitable.
See, I like them for the stories... I din't care about the lore in Diablo, I don't know the lore. I care about DragonLance lore, or Forgotten Realms, not Diablo.
Oh, and another song came on, seems to be staying.
I'll need to print these parts out and read them, but from what I read so far it sounds really good. I would throw it a different way, but this sounds good. Keep it going and I promise to keep reading. I might even consider you for an additional writer for the SICK novel I'm writing. Elfen is currently my only quality control. He's great, but I think if we had more input in story and maybe even a descriptions helper (its hard to put too much detail when its write as you go, and since I already wrote some its a bit harder for me to change what I've written)
So maybe another 1 or 2 may go into the making of this novel, but not nearly yet.
Hey, Carlos, have you ever read the Forgotten Realms books by R.A. Salvatore, specifically the Drizzt Do'Urden series? He has some amazing detail, especially the battle scenes. Good reading for any fantasy buff.
I think this story is pretty sweet so, far maybe a few tweaks here and there. I like the stuff that you thought sbout, such as the eye of Horadrim! I also like that there is a high level of interaction with the towns people.
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(In response to a question about the woman in the D3 cinematic and why she was clutching her heart)...
Quote from "Shiniku" »
Meh, I really doubt she can 'sense evil' or whatever. She was probably just excited about a shoe sale or something, coincidentally when evil was about.
Cool story. A couple of things to consider or help flush out your ideas. The place where you find the eye of the horadrim, it could be several different things done with this. The best idea would be to have this cave be located in the ruins of Tristam. It could in fact be the cave from the first diablo... Other thoughts might be for it to be an ancient tomb of a horadrim mage from when they hunted down the 3. As for a boss there. A kind of serpent or wyrm would be a cool mini boss. Or you could have the remains of the horadrim possessed by a demon that was unknowingly released by one of the alchemists and it was drawn to the power of such an ancient relic or location. As for act bosses...My issue here would be that I do not know enough about the various demons to make suggestions. However, I think you may be looking at it kind of from the wrong perspective. Diablo, wouldn't need the alchemists to bring the soulstones to him to bring him or Baal or whomever back. As I understand it, destroying them and the soul stones just severed their connections to the mortal world and sent them back to hell. Now, if you were to take your story and rather then having the alchemists journey to Kurast, you have them being possessed by the shards and opening gates to hell, that might work, because they could then be possessed by a demon or fallen angel or something and give you your act bosses.
I personally hope they change things up more with D3 and rather then the largely meaningless cities, flush the cities out more. I would like more of a siege situation like in Act 5, but with more flushing out of the city. I do really like your idea for the merchant town, but you would need to come up with a better boss for the act, perhaps Izual possesses the alchemist in his tower or something or hephasto or some such.
This is where the story is gonna get the stickiest, keeping it in line with how the past games have played, without retreading old territory or creating so many new characters that people feel it is disconected from the 1st 2 games. You also need to give a reason for D3 other then, here we go to kill diablo again!
I do believe you have a great story btw, but it just needs some additions is all.
Alchemists, btw don't bother me, they are the ones who make potions, how do you make better potions, you find better ingredients from remote and magical locations. At the very leasts you could just say they were treasure hunters?
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[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]"Fool! You have just ensured the doom of this world. You cannot even begin to imagine what you've set in motion this day. Go to the Temple of Light, in the eastern ciry of Kurast. There you will find the gate to Hell opened before you. You must find the courage to step through that gate Marius. Take the stone you hold to the Hellforge, where it will be destroyed. Now run! Take the stone and run!"
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I'm not sure if there are, or could be alchemists in Diablo lore or not. As well, I'm not sure if the destruction of the worldstone is followed up there. As I said I'm not great with Diablo lore. I expect Siaynoq will pick it apart though. It's inevitable.
Oh, and another song came on, seems to be staying.
And second act the boss doesn't sound very threatening for an act end boss. More like a super unique.
Think of the act end bosses for D2. They were all these really high up demons.
So maybe another 1 or 2 may go into the making of this novel, but not nearly yet.
i dont think there would be sciencetists lol
now you know why its taking them so long to make a diablo 3
storylines are hard to make
espesuly when its the best game ever made
I personally hope they change things up more with D3 and rather then the largely meaningless cities, flush the cities out more. I would like more of a siege situation like in Act 5, but with more flushing out of the city. I do really like your idea for the merchant town, but you would need to come up with a better boss for the act, perhaps Izual possesses the alchemist in his tower or something or hephasto or some such.
This is where the story is gonna get the stickiest, keeping it in line with how the past games have played, without retreading old territory or creating so many new characters that people feel it is disconected from the 1st 2 games. You also need to give a reason for D3 other then, here we go to kill diablo again!
I do believe you have a great story btw, but it just needs some additions is all.
Alchemists, btw don't bother me, they are the ones who make potions, how do you make better potions, you find better ingredients from remote and magical locations. At the very leasts you could just say they were treasure hunters?