Major spoilers. If you want to see this movie, don't bother reading. I advise you to read regardless, and not watch the movie, because it's utter shit.
Fun fact: Tom Cruise was going to be the lead in this movie. I don't know, maybe his name would have been Marcus Salt. Whichever way you flip it, if his last name were to be "Salt" it would have been pretty fruity, even for Cruise. Good thing he smelled shit when he read the script and stayed away from it. Not Angelina Jolie, though! Apparently starring in shit movies like Lara Croft and Mr. and Mrs. Smith wasn't enough. She just HAD to add Salt to her list of shit movies that she starred in. I still want to bone her, though.
Let me start at the very beginning. Salt is a CIA agent. This Russian dude walks in, claiming that Russia trained little dudes and dudettes to become awesome killing machines, awesome spies, and just every fucking form of awesome, to ultimately bring down America. Yeah, you just KNOW that an American film is gonna end with Russia winning, and America getting raped to shreds by crazy Russians and a hot bitch like Angelina Jolie. So anyway, this guy walks in, and gets interrogated by Salt.
What does he say? He fucking blows the entire cover. He's sitting in the middle of the fucking CIA, and what does he do? He goes like "The agent who is going to kill the Russian president..yeah, her name is Evelyn Salt". Whatever happened to fucking e-mail, or to fucking text messaging?
hey. u hav teh green light on teh operation. kill teh president lolololo
Noooooooo, he had to blow the entire fucking plan wide open, tell the CIA what the fuck is going on, and blow Salt's cover. I guess if he didn't do that, there wouldn't be a movie for us to watch, eh? Man, I wish that happened. So now Salt acts all surprised, escapes by killing about 9 agents, and 6 SWAT members, like the fucking CIA is such a trivial agency, that the president was like "yeah, just have a couple of untrained, unskilled morons guard the place, it's not like a Russian sleeper cell is gonna have his/her cover blown bu his/her OWN FUCKING MENTOR! hehe". Mind you, I totally jumped on Google to find out how you can make a fucking bazooka from furniture and some tiny explosive whatever. That's what Salt did, mmhmmmmmmm. Crazy slut.
So now, she's on the run..she jumps on a moving truck. Apparently, the driver is fucking deaf, and couldn't hear the loud THUD noise. The agents catch up to her, and one of them starts shooting. What does she do? She jumps onto ANOTHER moving truck. Physics got raped SO bad here, I swear. She basically landed perfectly, only rolling a couple of times to finally hang on to the edge of the truck..like you can easily do that, and actually keep your grip on a fucking speeding truck.
By now, the movie is halfway through. Salt goes to a hotel, prepares some explosives, siphons some spider venom from her pet spider, dyes her hair black, and by the looks of it, goes to kill the Russian president. But HALT! (Flavie reference, lololo) you can't but wonder "is this bitch really an agent, or is there something up her sleeve?". If you're smart enough, you will probably know that she is indeed an agent, but she is now a defector. Why? Because that's how fucking corny this movie, and that's how big a cliche it really fucking is. She gets passed the Secret Service, the CIA, and about 20 armed men. I think all 20 are just as trained as she is, but she somehow manages to kick everybody's ass, even when 3 are going against her. She plants the explosive under where the Russian president is making a speech, and defying all the fucking laws of Physics, the explosive simply crumbles the floor, allowing the president to fall down, right into Salt's arms. She then shoots him. But HALT! There's isn't a loud BANG when she shoots him. There's just a PTEW sound. Why? Because she shot him with the spider venom. Yes, I deduced this on the spot. Why? Because she doesn't want to kill him, but to make everyone THINK he's dead, when he actually isn't (apparently, this venom slows down his heart rate and breathing a lot, so that he appears to be dead, but really isn't). For fuck's sake, any guy who has an IQ above 50 can figure this out. Anyone who have watched LOST can figure this out. What the fuck Hollywood?
Now, at the end of this atrocious shit-fest, she goes to kill the president (but she isn't gonna, because by now, we are sure that she is a defector. She killed the entire squad of Russian agents..alone..with 3 grenades, and her Steven Siegal martial arts skills). She gets inside, manages to enter the elevator shaft, and starts jumping down beams. Physics, again, is weeping. Next, she fucking slides down, having her hands pressed against the beams, and her feet also. I guess they haven't heard of the fucking concept of friction. He hands would fucking roast if she were to actually do that. What the fuck? Now she kills about 30 agents, and nearly reaches the president. Why nearly? Because badass Liev Schriber killed everyone (but not the president. He only knocked him unconscious), and is about to launch the nukes. But HALT! Salt can get in the bunker! Because all that separated her from the control room..that has the potential of fucking launching nukes anywhere you fucking want..is about 4 inches of play dough pseudo-concrete, which she managed to get passed by firing 2 machine-gun clips, drilling right through it. Man, those guys who built this bunker otta get fired, eh?...EH?!
We find out that the fucking director of the CIA (or whatever Liev's position fucking was. I didn't really give a fuck at that point) is a Russian sleeper, as well. She manages to stop the sequence, only for the SWAT team to shoot her. But HALT! She's wearing a vest (of course..what the fuck? Did you actually think she was gonna die?!) .. she then kills Liev..to make proving her case fucking believable. They take her away. But HALT! She escapes. Again. With the help of that top dog CIA dude. But why the fuck did they do that? The president was only knocked unconscious. He saw everything that happened. He could corroborate her entire fucking story. But noooooooooooo, they want badass lines like "go get them" to be in this badass movie. They want to make Salt 2. They want Angelina to kill some more Russians without getting fucking scratched.
The action-holes, the gaping plot-holes, the fact that this entire movie is such a fucking cliche, the unbelievable physics, the unbelievable everything, the predictable everything, the shitty ending, the shitty acting here and there, and the fact that absolutely (I mean it..absofuckinglutely) nothing about this movie is original, new, or exciting in any way, shape, or form makes this movie such a shitfest.
I don't remember specific details about Inception. All I can say about it is that it got blown way out of proportion for the movie that it actually is. Pretty much like Avatar, but not so much.
I really expected NONE of you to like Avatar. As Diablo fans, we value content over aesthetics. Avatar is pure aesthetics, zero content, basically. Shit storyline, shit script, shit everything bar the sugar coating.
I really expected NONE of you to like Avatar. As Diablo fans, we value content over aesthetics. Avatar is pure aesthetics, zero content, basically. Shit storyline, shit script, shit everything bar the sugar coating.
And yeah, seriously, what's with that Peabody character? Why did he let her go at the end? He was pursuing and shooting at her throughout the entire film, and at the end he goes soft! :yucky:
pssst, peabody is also a russian spy. everything in that movie was planned. even the death of that old russian bloke. youll see. shhh. tell no one.
edit: decent action movie, really unbelievable though, unless you agree with my conspiracy lol, its just that 96 pound angelina punching out big guys and killing 20 huge russian super spies is pretty unrealistic. but w/e its hollywood...
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"to the worm in horseradish, the world is horseradish."
What about the expendables? I thought that was a really good movie lolz
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www.myspace.com/mpotatoes for all your Trans Siberian Orchestra listening pleasure
If you want to arrange it
This world you can change it
If we could somehow make this
Christmas thing last
By helping a neighbor
Or even a stranger
And to know who needs help
You need only just ask
Avatar is one of those movies that you need to see in Blu-Ray, because of the entire planet in that definition is absolutely breathtaking. It would be a lot better if the plot was better because like you all said, it was way to cliche.
Now Inception, I don't know how people can say it's not unique. I have never seen any movie with that many twists and turns and cinematography, because it kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time. Plus the plot was just absolute GENIUS, which is another reason why Christopher Nolan is teaching M. Knight Shamyalan how to keep a good reputation.
It's too complicated for its own good. At first I was like "Oh, cool!" and "Hey, nice twist!" Then I was like "Okay..this is getting fucking tiresome". I literally left the theater fucking wrecked. My fucking brain was hurting.
It's definitely a matter of opinion. I love movies that make you think, and that are really complex and lead you into this spiral of emotion and connectivity. This is why I need a good plot to go along a movie, and the reason I love Christopher Nolan.
I haven't seen a movie that I actually liked in a long ass time. I doubt most of you even know the movies that I really like, anyway. I have an odd taste.
You look at art to appreciate the craftsmanship of the painter (abstract and surrealist art excluded for the most part). You watch a movie to enjoy the plot first and foremost. Everything else comes in second.
I'd rather Google Salvador Dali than pay 12$ to watch "art" for more than 2 hours with it being the only thing driving a completely shit everything else.
The art in Avatar wasn't that great, either. And mostly it was CGI people, who get comparatively less money and do not get mentioned, so to say Avatar is an artsy movie is quite inaccurate. It would be a pretty different movie if it was, indeed, artsy.
Honestly, I liked the visuals, and the style of Moon a lot better.
Artsy movies, in fact, do not generally have bad plots. They have either no clear plot or they have a decent plot even if they don't center on it too much. Bad plots serve no purpose, artsy or not.
Inception is good and not at all predictable, but it is quite confusing and doesn't have something that makes it feel unique (even if it is unique it doesn't quite feel that way). 3.5-4 out of 5. That is the short version since I'm too optimistic to write a full length essay about crappy parts I usually ignore
Avatar ftw, amazing, groundbreaking, beautiful, etc ^^ Just some... a lot... tons of cliché problems, and a standard hollywood storyline that for some people makes a movie autosuck somewhat xD
I'm not trying to dis anyone or say I'm smarter but Inception was not confusing and I basically had the ending figured out half way through the movie. Then when they talked about limbo, I knew the ending, it wasn't as confusing as I hoped it was going to be.
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Ok, I'm just kidding.
Major spoilers. If you want to see this movie, don't bother reading. I advise you to read regardless, and not watch the movie, because it's utter shit.
Fun fact: Tom Cruise was going to be the lead in this movie. I don't know, maybe his name would have been Marcus Salt. Whichever way you flip it, if his last name were to be "Salt" it would have been pretty fruity, even for Cruise. Good thing he smelled shit when he read the script and stayed away from it. Not Angelina Jolie, though! Apparently starring in shit movies like Lara Croft and Mr. and Mrs. Smith wasn't enough. She just HAD to add Salt to her list of shit movies that she starred in. I still want to bone her, though.
Let me start at the very beginning. Salt is a CIA agent. This Russian dude walks in, claiming that Russia trained little dudes and dudettes to become awesome killing machines, awesome spies, and just every fucking form of awesome, to ultimately bring down America. Yeah, you just KNOW that an American film is gonna end with Russia winning, and America getting raped to shreds by crazy Russians and a hot bitch like Angelina Jolie. So anyway, this guy walks in, and gets interrogated by Salt.
What does he say? He fucking blows the entire cover. He's sitting in the middle of the fucking CIA, and what does he do? He goes like "The agent who is going to kill the Russian president..yeah, her name is Evelyn Salt". Whatever happened to fucking e-mail, or to fucking text messaging?
hey. u hav teh green light on teh operation. kill teh president lolololo
Noooooooo, he had to blow the entire fucking plan wide open, tell the CIA what the fuck is going on, and blow Salt's cover. I guess if he didn't do that, there wouldn't be a movie for us to watch, eh? Man, I wish that happened. So now Salt acts all surprised, escapes by killing about 9 agents, and 6 SWAT members, like the fucking CIA is such a trivial agency, that the president was like "yeah, just have a couple of untrained, unskilled morons guard the place, it's not like a Russian sleeper cell is gonna have his/her cover blown bu his/her OWN FUCKING MENTOR! hehe". Mind you, I totally jumped on Google to find out how you can make a fucking bazooka from furniture and some tiny explosive whatever. That's what Salt did, mmhmmmmmmm. Crazy slut.
So now, she's on the run..she jumps on a moving truck. Apparently, the driver is fucking deaf, and couldn't hear the loud THUD noise. The agents catch up to her, and one of them starts shooting. What does she do? She jumps onto ANOTHER moving truck. Physics got raped SO bad here, I swear. She basically landed perfectly, only rolling a couple of times to finally hang on to the edge of the truck..like you can easily do that, and actually keep your grip on a fucking speeding truck.
By now, the movie is halfway through. Salt goes to a hotel, prepares some explosives, siphons some spider venom from her pet spider, dyes her hair black, and by the looks of it, goes to kill the Russian president. But HALT! (Flavie reference, lololo) you can't but wonder "is this bitch really an agent, or is there something up her sleeve?". If you're smart enough, you will probably know that she is indeed an agent, but she is now a defector. Why? Because that's how fucking corny this movie, and that's how big a cliche it really fucking is. She gets passed the Secret Service, the CIA, and about 20 armed men. I think all 20 are just as trained as she is, but she somehow manages to kick everybody's ass, even when 3 are going against her. She plants the explosive under where the Russian president is making a speech, and defying all the fucking laws of Physics, the explosive simply crumbles the floor, allowing the president to fall down, right into Salt's arms. She then shoots him. But HALT! There's isn't a loud BANG when she shoots him. There's just a PTEW sound. Why? Because she shot him with the spider venom. Yes, I deduced this on the spot. Why? Because she doesn't want to kill him, but to make everyone THINK he's dead, when he actually isn't (apparently, this venom slows down his heart rate and breathing a lot, so that he appears to be dead, but really isn't). For fuck's sake, any guy who has an IQ above 50 can figure this out. Anyone who have watched LOST can figure this out. What the fuck Hollywood?
Now, at the end of this atrocious shit-fest, she goes to kill the president (but she isn't gonna, because by now, we are sure that she is a defector. She killed the entire squad of Russian agents..alone..with 3 grenades, and her Steven Siegal martial arts skills). She gets inside, manages to enter the elevator shaft, and starts jumping down beams. Physics, again, is weeping. Next, she fucking slides down, having her hands pressed against the beams, and her feet also. I guess they haven't heard of the fucking concept of friction. He hands would fucking roast if she were to actually do that. What the fuck? Now she kills about 30 agents, and nearly reaches the president. Why nearly? Because badass Liev Schriber killed everyone (but not the president. He only knocked him unconscious), and is about to launch the nukes. But HALT! Salt can get in the bunker! Because all that separated her from the control room..that has the potential of fucking launching nukes anywhere you fucking want..is about 4 inches of play dough pseudo-concrete, which she managed to get passed by firing 2 machine-gun clips, drilling right through it. Man, those guys who built this bunker otta get fired, eh?...EH?!
We find out that the fucking director of the CIA (or whatever Liev's position fucking was. I didn't really give a fuck at that point) is a Russian sleeper, as well. She manages to stop the sequence, only for the SWAT team to shoot her. But HALT! She's wearing a vest (of course..what the fuck? Did you actually think she was gonna die?!) .. she then kills Liev..to make proving her case fucking believable. They take her away. But HALT! She escapes. Again. With the help of that top dog CIA dude. But why the fuck did they do that? The president was only knocked unconscious. He saw everything that happened. He could corroborate her entire fucking story. But noooooooooooo, they want badass lines like "go get them" to be in this badass movie. They want to make Salt 2. They want Angelina to kill some more Russians without getting fucking scratched.
The action-holes, the gaping plot-holes, the fact that this entire movie is such a fucking cliche, the unbelievable physics, the unbelievable everything, the predictable everything, the shitty ending, the shitty acting here and there, and the fact that absolutely (I mean it..absofuckinglutely) nothing about this movie is original, new, or exciting in any way, shape, or form makes this movie such a shitfest.
Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions
Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions
Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions
Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions
edit: decent action movie, really unbelievable though, unless you agree with my conspiracy lol, its just that 96 pound angelina punching out big guys and killing 20 huge russian super spies is pretty unrealistic. but w/e its hollywood...
"to the worm in horseradish, the world is horseradish."
If you want to arrange it
This world you can change it
If we could somehow make this
Christmas thing last
By helping a neighbor
Or even a stranger
And to know who needs help
You need only just ask
Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions
Now Inception, I don't know how people can say it's not unique. I have never seen any movie with that many twists and turns and cinematography, because it kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time. Plus the plot was just absolute GENIUS, which is another reason why Christopher Nolan is teaching M. Knight Shamyalan how to keep a good reputation.
Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions
You should review a movie that you liked from time to time. There is already too much garbage out there.
Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions
Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions
Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions
Honestly, I liked the visuals, and the style of Moon a lot better.
Artsy movies, in fact, do not generally have bad plots. They have either no clear plot or they have a decent plot even if they don't center on it too much. Bad plots serve no purpose, artsy or not.