ok guys, i guess you deserve an explanation as to what i will be going through in the next couple of days. so here goes.
as everyone knows, ive been bloodthirsty since blizzcon, mostly because of all the idiots that keep posting retarded ideas, or even worse multiplying the threads that are already there. however, last night i got a phone call, the girl i was in love with back in california. you see, when i moved out here, we wanted to keep the relationship going. however all my freinds here said that it probably wouldnt work out. so i thought deeply about it, and i didnt want to hurt her, say if i fell in love with someone here. so i broke up with her, and after a while we agreed to be friends.
last night though, she wanted to talk about the breakup, she is going out with a guy she likes but she feels she needs closure. apparently she hasnt gotten over the breakup, and doesnt know how to feel or what to do. she likes him without knowing why, but finds herself sometimes comparing him to me.
old feelings were stirred, and i felt bad. because ever since the breakup ive felt guilty for stopping something that was so good. i know ive thrown away my shot at her, and i told her that. i still have feelings for her, and she does for me, since she compares me to him. i told her that if he wasnt better than me, she should find someone that is, even if its not me. i still love her, and....i dont know. we hung up and went to sleep.
today we talked again, and it sounded alot like she still liked him, but wanted to be with me. i told her she cant have both, and she asked me if we could still be friends. i said yes, but now i dont feel that.
its just a mixture of guilt, love, and sadness that im feeling now, i dont know what to do. because ever since the breakup ive tried to go out with other girls, but i just dont get anywhere. ive decided to end it once and for all, that she needs to choose now. because if she picks him, i know i cant be friends with her anymore, it would just be a glaring reminder of me screwing up and throwing away something pure i had.
i know lately others have been having problems, so im not dumping on you guys, or looking for support. im just letting you guys know what is going to be running through my head for the next couple days, maybe weeks. i feel a bit bummed out, i guess ill test it by seeing how well i do at work.
thanks for reading, and if you got any advice, please post it. its a different view looking in from out, and it gives me a better perspective. im almost overwhelmed about it, because last night my hopes grew, but today i realized that even my hopes cant stay forever. i have to make a last stance and see if i win, or simply move on. again, thanks. see you all later, g2g to work.
Alright man..yeah it sounds tough.
But dont feel like your the only person thats ever ran into the situation.
Usually..relationships wont work to well if the other person doesnt live in the same place as you.
And this would be hard but, think about the guy shes going out with now.
Think about how he would feel if she went running back to you.
I know right now your thinking
"I dont care about him blah blah"
And how you won't be friends with her if she picks him.
Because if you don't all of this just ends up in pain.
Dont tell her that, because it would just pressure her and force her into doing something you wouldnt like.
And dont tell her she needs to choose now, or force her to make a decision.
She said she compares him to you?
And you've tried to go out with other girls and it never worked out?
Sounds like you guys are for eachother.
My simple advice would be..
1.Win her over.
2.Move on(very hard)
Hmm... I always suck with advice so here it goes... lol
Use your heart... dont think about it, pretend your nike, just do it... now that might work but dont do anything wrong or illegal... thats generally bad lol.
Let here choose, I know its hard but its whats right. Hope that she picks you but no matter what still be friends. Your time wll come once again.
Good Luck
Jay
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If you ever meet a hafling and a hungry dragon you dont have to outrun the dragon, you only have to outrun the hafling.
ah my advice here should be leave the past and find another Gal' not any gal but someone trusful and friendly.....
dont roast me..... this may work....
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
''May the Gods give you the strength and power to bear the madness which flows through our minds.''
''Zubin, I've always imagined you as a crazy raver. The kinda guy that spends all night dancing to trance music while waving glow sticks and popping ecstasy.'' - Murderface
ive already given the ultimatum, but im giving her a week or so to decide. either its me, or we cant even be friends. reason for it is because i still love her, and i cant keep remembering my retarded decision everytime i talk to her, or when she mentions him. it will drive me insane. its a bit harsh, but i will either have her, or have nothing of her. and it sucks for her, i told her, because in the end she gets hurt if she ends it with him, or is hurt because she finally ends it with me.
but again, i dont know why she's stil with him. she compares him to me, and she likes the way im always there, how im intellegent and have given her great advice, and how i comfort her. she still remembers one time i said i wanted to have a family, and kids, and how she wanted to be a part of that. the fact is, she's confused as to who she loves most, and doesnt want to give either of us up.
but it cant be, she cant have both of us, i couldnt live with it. im a jealous man. i once punched a dude for making a sneering comment on my mom, the "Damn girl i wanna f**k you!!" remark. i couldnt believe he said that, and she just walked on into the store. i however walked up to him as he laughed with his friend, poked his shoulder to get his attention and punched his skinny short ass as hard as i could right in the face. his friends were shocked and got up angry, but i only said "teach your homie to show respect. thats my mom" and walked in after my mom. she hadnt even noticed!! but im very defensive and dont like guys even looking at the women in my life, say my mom or my cousins.
in the end, it will be a while for the final decision, and ill let you all know. its not going to be a walk in the park though.
1. Long distance relationships DO NOT work. Period. Even if you think you can do it, sorry mate, they just arent meant to be.
2. Imagine putting yourself in this guys shoes. You love a girl, and it seems like she likes you, and all of a sudden, BAM shes off with an old flame again. Its a dog act. I agree with sessler.
3. Its better to have her as a friend than not have her in your life at all.
The way i see it, if you cant see them at least once a week, it aint meant to be. Obviously if she moved away, it wasnt meant to happen. I know you might still love each other, but it doesnt leave much for you to do together. A phone call every day? Myspace? A visit every now and then if your lucky? If it were me, id want to see her every day.
The way i see it, if you can do it once, you can do it again. Youll find her. I know i felt a certain way about someone and never thought id find someone like them, but i did, and it made me realise its all about you and making it work with whoever you want.
the thing is, that im the one that moved, and im the one that ended it. i just havent gotten over her. the first time we were just going to be friends, but then this came up. im confused and overwhelmed at this point. i just want to get it over with. and btw, we've never done more than kissed. i know its wierd, but the love we had was really innocent, and pure. it was unique, much different from what anyone i know has had.
at last my formulae should work carl..., dont worry....
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
''May the Gods give you the strength and power to bear the madness which flows through our minds.''
''Zubin, I've always imagined you as a crazy raver. The kinda guy that spends all night dancing to trance music while waving glow sticks and popping ecstasy.'' - Murderface
at last my formulae should work carl..., dont worry....
in ordinary relationships it would. and i can stand back enough to see its not ordinary though. if she says she will stay with him, i will move on, but will never turn back. i cant, it'd just be too painful.
oh then how can anyone be like this in such an antique love huh ?
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
''May the Gods give you the strength and power to bear the madness which flows through our minds.''
''Zubin, I've always imagined you as a crazy raver. The kinda guy that spends all night dancing to trance music while waving glow sticks and popping ecstasy.'' - Murderface
leave it i'm going outa' this thread and deletin' all my posts in it .....i cannot go so deep ...
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
''May the Gods give you the strength and power to bear the madness which flows through our minds.''
''Zubin, I've always imagined you as a crazy raver. The kinda guy that spends all night dancing to trance music while waving glow sticks and popping ecstasy.'' - Murderface
Sounds as though you already know what her answer will be - just trying to avoid it, which is understandable – nobody likes to be hurting.
As hard as it may be you both need to make a clean break – no communication – get on with your lives – as all have stated previously long distance relationships really don’t work. Its obvious you both do still have feelings for each other which is why a clean break is needed. What kind of relationship would it be with only phone calls/texting and a once-in-a-while visit? Not a very good one and would only lead to resentment.
As far as being friends – yes it is possible – but not at the present moment – in time absolutely – possibly even better than before. And there is always the possibility that in the future you may hook up again and have an even greater sense and appreciation of each other. Just don’t tarnish your memories of her with hatred. If you do see her sometime in future – do you want to think there’s that f’n bitch or rather we had some good times. If it really is that good then why would you want to sully those memories.
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Smiling is infectious.
Give, expecting nothing thereof. ------------ BoD - Come have some fun! Folks will always come and go, so enjoy them while they're meant to be in your life.
thanks guys, its alot that you guys are giving your input. i do read and see some things that are necessary, mostly i knew. its just hard to say it and actually do it. especially when she's crying on the other side. we'll see how things turn out.
I hate to be the only one on the other side of the coin, but...
I actually was in a long term relationship for two years. Well, we met, but then we had to be apart, she was in NH, and I was down in MO. But we continued to talk and send each other letters and stuff.
Eventually our love grew and I went out to see her. Then we continued to fly back and forth across the country to see each other until I could actually move out there.
I married this girl.
I know it doesn't help much, but my LTR worked. I suppose it's just a matter of resilience and perseverance. Hearing her on the phone about every day really helped, but the ability to hold her after a long absence was worth it.
And, in my experience, if a girl is comparing her new guys to you, she still holds you as the high water mark. That's good for you, because apparently her new boyfriends don't measure up. I think it may be subtle, but I think she may want you in her life again...as more than friends.
Hope I gave a different angle on the subject.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
It's time to welcome the other 80% of the color wheel to a Diablo game.
I hate to be the only one on the other side of the coin, but...
I actually was in a long term relationship for two years. Well, we met, but then we had to be apart, she was in NH, and I was down in MO. But we continued to talk and send each other letters and stuff.
Eventually our love grew and I went out to see her. Then we continued to fly back and forth across the country to see each other until I could actually move out there.
I married this girl.
I know it doesn't help much, but my LTR worked. I suppose it's just a matter of resilience and perseverance. Hearing her on the phone about every day really helped, but the ability to hold her after a long absence was worth it.
And, in my experience, if a girl is comparing her new guys to you, she still holds you as the high water mark. That's good for you, because apparently her new boyfriends don't measure up. I think it may be subtle, but I think she may want you in her life again...as more than friends.
Hope I gave a different angle on the subject.
dude, thanks. i know its a matter of how much i want it, and i think i want it bad. i just took a shower, and i was thinking about what everyone else says. and i said to myself, just end it. she doesnt want to make the decision, so make it for her, tell her your done. and i told myself back, but i still want her! if anything i should press forward and tell her to leave him because he obviously doesnt measure up to me.
and i think your comment just helped me out alot. not that the others didnt, but i think that when i made this thread i was kinda hoping for more of your kind of comments, and the support that Thasador gives. he's a swell guy isnt he? and so are you. differences aside, i like you.
You give thought out, intelligent posts, and if you give a new idea to a thread, you support it with fact.
If you were in front of me I'd give you the most masculine hug ever.
Because we're both men.
And straight.
Edit: I'm glad I could help. Keep us posted on how it goes, and I'm sure we'll all keep the support coming. I suppose in the end your heart just wants what it wants.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
It's time to welcome the other 80% of the color wheel to a Diablo game.
You give thought out, intelligent posts, and if you give a new idea to a thread, you support it with fact.
If you were in front of me I'd give you the most masculine hug ever.
Because we're both men.
And straight.
Edit: I'm glad I could help. Keep us posted on how it goes, and I'm sure we'll all keep the support coming. I suppose in the end your heart just wants what it wants.
just two men, giving each other a hug....thas and i do that all the time!!
maybe i should rethink my orientation before i pursue this girl......:confused:
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
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as everyone knows, ive been bloodthirsty since blizzcon, mostly because of all the idiots that keep posting retarded ideas, or even worse multiplying the threads that are already there. however, last night i got a phone call, the girl i was in love with back in california. you see, when i moved out here, we wanted to keep the relationship going. however all my freinds here said that it probably wouldnt work out. so i thought deeply about it, and i didnt want to hurt her, say if i fell in love with someone here. so i broke up with her, and after a while we agreed to be friends.
last night though, she wanted to talk about the breakup, she is going out with a guy she likes but she feels she needs closure. apparently she hasnt gotten over the breakup, and doesnt know how to feel or what to do. she likes him without knowing why, but finds herself sometimes comparing him to me.
old feelings were stirred, and i felt bad. because ever since the breakup ive felt guilty for stopping something that was so good. i know ive thrown away my shot at her, and i told her that. i still have feelings for her, and she does for me, since she compares me to him. i told her that if he wasnt better than me, she should find someone that is, even if its not me. i still love her, and....i dont know. we hung up and went to sleep.
today we talked again, and it sounded alot like she still liked him, but wanted to be with me. i told her she cant have both, and she asked me if we could still be friends. i said yes, but now i dont feel that.
its just a mixture of guilt, love, and sadness that im feeling now, i dont know what to do. because ever since the breakup ive tried to go out with other girls, but i just dont get anywhere. ive decided to end it once and for all, that she needs to choose now. because if she picks him, i know i cant be friends with her anymore, it would just be a glaring reminder of me screwing up and throwing away something pure i had.
i know lately others have been having problems, so im not dumping on you guys, or looking for support. im just letting you guys know what is going to be running through my head for the next couple days, maybe weeks. i feel a bit bummed out, i guess ill test it by seeing how well i do at work.
thanks for reading, and if you got any advice, please post it. its a different view looking in from out, and it gives me a better perspective. im almost overwhelmed about it, because last night my hopes grew, but today i realized that even my hopes cant stay forever. i have to make a last stance and see if i win, or simply move on. again, thanks. see you all later, g2g to work.
But dont feel like your the only person thats ever ran into the situation.
Usually..relationships wont work to well if the other person doesnt live in the same place as you.
And this would be hard but, think about the guy shes going out with now.
Think about how he would feel if she went running back to you.
I know right now your thinking
"I dont care about him blah blah"
And how you won't be friends with her if she picks him.
Because if you don't all of this just ends up in pain.
Dont tell her that, because it would just pressure her and force her into doing something you wouldnt like.
And dont tell her she needs to choose now, or force her to make a decision.
She said she compares him to you?
And you've tried to go out with other girls and it never worked out?
Sounds like you guys are for eachother.
My simple advice would be..
1.Win her over.
2.Move on(very hard)
But always end up still being friends.
-nick
Use your heart... dont think about it, pretend your nike, just do it... now that might work but dont do anything wrong or illegal... thats generally bad lol.
Let here choose, I know its hard but its whats right. Hope that she picks you but no matter what still be friends. Your time wll come once again.
Good Luck
Jay
dont roast me..... this may work....
''Zubin, I've always imagined you as a crazy raver. The kinda guy that spends all night dancing to trance music while waving glow sticks and popping ecstasy.'' - Murderface
but again, i dont know why she's stil with him. she compares him to me, and she likes the way im always there, how im intellegent and have given her great advice, and how i comfort her. she still remembers one time i said i wanted to have a family, and kids, and how she wanted to be a part of that. the fact is, she's confused as to who she loves most, and doesnt want to give either of us up.
but it cant be, she cant have both of us, i couldnt live with it. im a jealous man. i once punched a dude for making a sneering comment on my mom, the "Damn girl i wanna f**k you!!" remark. i couldnt believe he said that, and she just walked on into the store. i however walked up to him as he laughed with his friend, poked his shoulder to get his attention and punched his skinny short ass as hard as i could right in the face. his friends were shocked and got up angry, but i only said "teach your homie to show respect. thats my mom" and walked in after my mom. she hadnt even noticed!! but im very defensive and dont like guys even looking at the women in my life, say my mom or my cousins.
in the end, it will be a while for the final decision, and ill let you all know. its not going to be a walk in the park though.
1. Long distance relationships DO NOT work. Period. Even if you think you can do it, sorry mate, they just arent meant to be.
2. Imagine putting yourself in this guys shoes. You love a girl, and it seems like she likes you, and all of a sudden, BAM shes off with an old flame again. Its a dog act. I agree with sessler.
3. Its better to have her as a friend than not have her in your life at all.
The way i see it, if you cant see them at least once a week, it aint meant to be. Obviously if she moved away, it wasnt meant to happen. I know you might still love each other, but it doesnt leave much for you to do together. A phone call every day? Myspace? A visit every now and then if your lucky? If it were me, id want to see her every day.
The way i see it, if you can do it once, you can do it again. Youll find her. I know i felt a certain way about someone and never thought id find someone like them, but i did, and it made me realise its all about you and making it work with whoever you want.
--> Roo
''Zubin, I've always imagined you as a crazy raver. The kinda guy that spends all night dancing to trance music while waving glow sticks and popping ecstasy.'' - Murderface
in ordinary relationships it would. and i can stand back enough to see its not ordinary though. if she says she will stay with him, i will move on, but will never turn back. i cant, it'd just be too painful.
''Zubin, I've always imagined you as a crazy raver. The kinda guy that spends all night dancing to trance music while waving glow sticks and popping ecstasy.'' - Murderface
i dont understand your question.
''Zubin, I've always imagined you as a crazy raver. The kinda guy that spends all night dancing to trance music while waving glow sticks and popping ecstasy.'' - Murderface
ok, thanks for at least trying to help.
Sounds as though you already know what her answer will be - just trying to avoid it, which is understandable – nobody likes to be hurting.
As hard as it may be you both need to make a clean break – no communication – get on with your lives – as all have stated previously long distance relationships really don’t work. Its obvious you both do still have feelings for each other which is why a clean break is needed. What kind of relationship would it be with only phone calls/texting and a once-in-a-while visit? Not a very good one and would only lead to resentment.
As far as being friends – yes it is possible – but not at the present moment – in time absolutely – possibly even better than before. And there is always the possibility that in the future you may hook up again and have an even greater sense and appreciation of each other. Just don’t tarnish your memories of her with hatred. If you do see her sometime in future – do you want to think there’s that f’n bitch or rather we had some good times. If it really is that good then why would you want to sully those memories.
Folks will always come and go, so enjoy them while they're meant to be in your life.
I actually was in a long term relationship for two years. Well, we met, but then we had to be apart, she was in NH, and I was down in MO. But we continued to talk and send each other letters and stuff.
Eventually our love grew and I went out to see her. Then we continued to fly back and forth across the country to see each other until I could actually move out there.
I married this girl.
I know it doesn't help much, but my LTR worked. I suppose it's just a matter of resilience and perseverance. Hearing her on the phone about every day really helped, but the ability to hold her after a long absence was worth it.
And, in my experience, if a girl is comparing her new guys to you, she still holds you as the high water mark. That's good for you, because apparently her new boyfriends don't measure up. I think it may be subtle, but I think she may want you in her life again...as more than friends.
Hope I gave a different angle on the subject.
It's time to welcome the other 80% of the color wheel to a Diablo game.
dude, thanks. i know its a matter of how much i want it, and i think i want it bad. i just took a shower, and i was thinking about what everyone else says. and i said to myself, just end it. she doesnt want to make the decision, so make it for her, tell her your done. and i told myself back, but i still want her! if anything i should press forward and tell her to leave him because he obviously doesnt measure up to me.
and i think your comment just helped me out alot. not that the others didnt, but i think that when i made this thread i was kinda hoping for more of your kind of comments, and the support that Thasador gives. he's a swell guy isnt he? and so are you. differences aside, i like you.
You give thought out, intelligent posts, and if you give a new idea to a thread, you support it with fact.
If you were in front of me I'd give you the most masculine hug ever.
Because we're both men.
And straight.
Edit: I'm glad I could help. Keep us posted on how it goes, and I'm sure we'll all keep the support coming. I suppose in the end your heart just wants what it wants.
It's time to welcome the other 80% of the color wheel to a Diablo game.
just two men, giving each other a hug....thas and i do that all the time!!
maybe i should rethink my orientation before i pursue this girl......:confused: