Seriously. 90% of the time, it's the same guy delivering my food. I usually answer the door shirtless because..fuck shirts. The guy was like "you must do sit ups and pushups a lot, yeah?", and I'm like "uhh..yeah, sure". Today, he's like "I got you the large sized cloeslaw instead of the small size, because you always order it and like it and all, for no extra charge", and I'm like "thanks bro". It's really creeping me out. I might be overthinking it (I mean, I AM extraordinarily sexy and all that), but still, wtf?
I usually hunt the chicken down myself, pluck their feathers with my eyebrows, disembowel them with the back of my knee, get the good-for-eating parts off with my heels, then cook them in a pot heated with the sexual essence of my amazing abs. When I don't feel like doing that, I just order KFC.
He probably took pitty on you. How sad/weird is a dude answering the door to another dude shirtless! Especially when he knows hes coming.
Yeah bro, I'm quite a pathetic guy. It's not like I'm the most successful person in my entire major. It's not like I maintain a healthy social life while still having kickass grades and a proper reputation. It's not like everybody wants to work with me because I'm awesome. It's not like I'm really handsome. It's not like I'm going to be majorly successful and have tons of fun while at it. But what do I know? You obviously have a superior life and a magical existence. I'll just take solace in the fact that you can't even spell "he's" correctly. I know, that's pretty sad/weird, but I'm a sad/weird guy.