I know I'm late to the party, but I just saw this film, and here are my two cents.
So it starts off alright, and I was thinking "hmm, this could actually be good". It wasn't. It wasn't at all. I knew the plot was shaky before I watched it, but man, it was fucking terrible. A guy roaming America to get a bible, which by the way is written in fucking braille, to the West Side. He's been walking for THIRTY FUCKING YEARS. Seriously? It takes 30 years to reach the West Coast? I think he should have searched for a map instead of relying on faith for directions, because obviously, faith was as fucking blind as he was.
So good ol' Eli was sleeping, with the shotgun in his lap. Mila Kunis approaches, and he wakes up on edge. He cocks the shotgun after telling her to GTFO, and sleeps. He wakes up, she wakes up, they keep walking and stumble upon a house. Denzel's spidey senses tingle, and he senses danger. What does he do? He cocks the fucking shotgun again :| YOU ALREADY COCKED IT YOU MORON.
On another occasion, Denzel is surrounded by about 10 men holding all kinds of guns. He keeps walking, gets shot in the back, then shot in the neck. He doesn't bleed, he doesn't even fucking flinch. He turns around, shoots about 50 bullets from a handgun killing virtually everybody. Now, all sorts of things happen, but the remaining men, and the leader of said men meet up with him on another location. The leader, good ol' mister Gary Oldman shoots our protagonist in the stomach. I'm thinking "LOL..THIS DUDE GOT SHOT IN THE NECK AND DIDN'T MOVE, A SHOT IN THE STOMACH WON'T DO JACK SHIT, LOL". Denzel drops to his knees, and faints. I don't even know where to fucking begin. Did God give up on him? Was he busy having an angel orgy to notice that his main man got shot again? He saved him once, but now he doesn't. Why? I have absolutely no idea. Inconsistency sucks.
Let's take a break and go into another area of discussion. We all know Motorola sucks. What does Motorola do in that case? They give the producers of the movie a megaphone with "Motorola" written on it, some bling bling, and the MOTOROLA insignia is thrown in our faces in the film. Seriously? A blockbuster with such blatant advertisements? The Motorola ad was just one of several other ads for different companies. Seriously idiotic.
Now, Denzey and the ever so fucking hot Mila get together again in a beat up Volvo (I think) car. The bad guys are in another car, and they decide to go back to their little town because they don't have enough gas to chase the good guys. On the other hand, the Volvo was apparently running on a futuristic motor, more than likely the Continuom Transfunctioner. They make all the way from the desert, to fucking San Fransisco. Amazing.
Now, I mentioned that Denzel got shot in the stomach, right? Yeah, he makes it all the way to San Fransisco, and fucking ROWS THE BOAT midway to Alcatraz, but since he got too tired and was in too much pain, our bitch Mila finally decides to row in his stead. Dude is shot, rows the boat halfway across, and the bitch is just sitting there. WHAT THE FUCK DUDE?
The Flash? More like The Gay. We don't get nearly enough information about what the fuck happened, why the fuck people went around burning bibles, NOTHING. He's just there, trying to get a bible to the West Side.
He didnt get shot in the neck. There was a canteen or something in his backpack that deflected the bullet... thats why theres a matallic clang when it hits...
Yes... there is desert region out west... all around cali. probably especially so after nuclear war...
Mila Kunis is bangin though
Yeah, like it's logical that a fucking cantene can deflect a bullet. He got shot again, anyway.
I know Mila Kunis is "bangin". I have countless amounts of wanks to back up my sentiment.
Man the fucking movie wasn't that bad. I liked the story alot (except maybe a little too christian-y for me). Overall, I'd have to disagree with you, I found the movie entertaining except I do admit some stuff could have been better. But omg Mila...
Imagine the awesome stew you could do with her.
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This body holding me, reminds me of my own mortality.
Embrace this moment. Remember... We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion.
It wasn't that bad imo. A little far fetched of course, its a movie about the bible afterall, which is probably the most far fetched book in history. The 30 years thing is ridiculous of course, how they came upon that number I have no idea.
I attributed his super human strengths and senses to the fact the he's doing a mission sent by God. I assumed he has extra spiritual help along the way.
I also liked the fact that the Bible was writen in brail. I honestly didn't see that part coming.
Avatar had a great story dude, it showed how corporations are evil, and we need to get back to a simpler time.
Great message, fantastic story, I don't know what's not to love. Your sarcasm detector just fucking exploded, by the way.
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"One in every 10 million people can potentially have a headache from this pill." God forbid she is the 0.000000001% of having a headache.
It wasn't that bad imo. A little far fetched of course, its a movie about the bible afterall, which is probably the most far fetched book in history. The 30 years thing is ridiculous of course, how they came upon that number I have no idea.
I attributed his super human strengths and senses to the fact the he's doing a mission sent by God. I assumed he has extra spiritual help along the way.
I also liked the fact that the Bible was writen in brail. I honestly didn't see that part coming.
Lol@I knew he was blind like, really early on in the movie. He was doing that clicking sounds with his tongue. That's echolocation. I knew he was blind, so the braille bullshit didn't even surprise me, I actually knew it right after I figured out that he was blind.
If you're talking about Meph, then at least I'm not the only one here who thinks that.
Avatar's story was amazing. It was the other awkward sex scenes and everything else that made it stupid, but it was an amazing movie. The Book of Eli was shit because Denzel Washington is an amazing actor wasted on a ridiculous movie like this. It's like Clash of the Titans with Liam Neison or however you spell his last name.
Is it the first movie you ever watched or something?
How is this comment even worth posting? If you don't have anything constructive, beat it
I was actually agreeing with you for the most part, but if you're going to post trolling comments like this, then whatever. LOL @ you still thinking that you can do whatever you want around here.
Irrational, you do realize that Avatar's "amazing story" was Pocohontas with blue aliens instead of native americans right?
Oh yeah and the sex scenes were the totally only thing that was super stupid about it. Not the fact that the film making genius that is James Cameron decided to name an element that is really hard to obtain something super awesome like "unobtanium" no that's not stupid at all.
Man you know you were right, that movie was amazing AND original! I can't believe I doubted you for one moment! (Sarcsm ftw)
Irrational, you do realize that Avatar's "amazing story" was Pocohontas with blue aliens instead of native americans right?
Oh yeah and the sex scenes were the totally only thing that was super stupid about it. Not the fact that the film making genius that is James Cameron decided to name an element that is really hard to obtain something super awesome like "unobtanium" no that's not stupid at all.
Man you know you were right, that movie was amazing AND original! I can't believe I doubted you for one moment! (Sarcsm ftw)
Are you kidding? The scenery of the movie was amazing, and plus the story highlighted the Indian story of the early USA. Plus the entire idea of all the animals and everything else was just amazing. You apparently just don't get it lol. It's a movie that you love or you hate.
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Respectful is a strong word...
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So it starts off alright, and I was thinking "hmm, this could actually be good". It wasn't. It wasn't at all. I knew the plot was shaky before I watched it, but man, it was fucking terrible. A guy roaming America to get a bible, which by the way is written in fucking braille, to the West Side. He's been walking for THIRTY FUCKING YEARS. Seriously? It takes 30 years to reach the West Coast? I think he should have searched for a map instead of relying on faith for directions, because obviously, faith was as fucking blind as he was.
So good ol' Eli was sleeping, with the shotgun in his lap. Mila Kunis approaches, and he wakes up on edge. He cocks the shotgun after telling her to GTFO, and sleeps. He wakes up, she wakes up, they keep walking and stumble upon a house. Denzel's spidey senses tingle, and he senses danger. What does he do? He cocks the fucking shotgun again :| YOU ALREADY COCKED IT YOU MORON.
On another occasion, Denzel is surrounded by about 10 men holding all kinds of guns. He keeps walking, gets shot in the back, then shot in the neck. He doesn't bleed, he doesn't even fucking flinch. He turns around, shoots about 50 bullets from a handgun killing virtually everybody. Now, all sorts of things happen, but the remaining men, and the leader of said men meet up with him on another location. The leader, good ol' mister Gary Oldman shoots our protagonist in the stomach. I'm thinking "LOL..THIS DUDE GOT SHOT IN THE NECK AND DIDN'T MOVE, A SHOT IN THE STOMACH WON'T DO JACK SHIT, LOL". Denzel drops to his knees, and faints. I don't even know where to fucking begin. Did God give up on him? Was he busy having an angel orgy to notice that his main man got shot again? He saved him once, but now he doesn't. Why? I have absolutely no idea. Inconsistency sucks.
Let's take a break and go into another area of discussion. We all know Motorola sucks. What does Motorola do in that case? They give the producers of the movie a megaphone with "Motorola" written on it, some bling bling, and the MOTOROLA insignia is thrown in our faces in the film. Seriously? A blockbuster with such blatant advertisements? The Motorola ad was just one of several other ads for different companies. Seriously idiotic.
Now, Denzey and the ever so fucking hot Mila get together again in a beat up Volvo (I think) car. The bad guys are in another car, and they decide to go back to their little town because they don't have enough gas to chase the good guys. On the other hand, the Volvo was apparently running on a futuristic motor, more than likely the Continuom Transfunctioner. They make all the way from the desert, to fucking San Fransisco. Amazing.
Now, I mentioned that Denzel got shot in the stomach, right? Yeah, he makes it all the way to San Fransisco, and fucking ROWS THE BOAT midway to Alcatraz, but since he got too tired and was in too much pain, our bitch Mila finally decides to row in his stead. Dude is shot, rows the boat halfway across, and the bitch is just sitting there. WHAT THE FUCK DUDE?
The Flash? More like The Gay. We don't get nearly enough information about what the fuck happened, why the fuck people went around burning bibles, NOTHING. He's just there, trying to get a bible to the West Side.
Fuck this movie, dude.
Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions
How is this comment even worth posting? If you don't have anything constructive, beat it.
Yeah, like it's logical that a fucking cantene can deflect a bullet. He got shot again, anyway.
I know Mila Kunis is "bangin". I have countless amounts of wanks to back up my sentiment.
Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions
Imagine the awesome stew you could do with her.
Embrace this moment. Remember...
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion.
Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions
I attributed his super human strengths and senses to the fact the he's doing a mission sent by God. I assumed he has extra spiritual help along the way.
I also liked the fact that the Bible was writen in brail. I honestly didn't see that part coming.
Great message, fantastic story, I don't know what's not to love.
Your sarcasm detector just fucking exploded, by the way.
Lol@I knew he was blind like, really early on in the movie. He was doing that clicking sounds with his tongue. That's echolocation. I knew he was blind, so the braille bullshit didn't even surprise me, I actually knew it right after I figured out that he was blind.
Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions
Yes. Lulz
Yeah man the ending was pretty cool
Embrace this moment. Remember...
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion.
Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions
Embrace this moment. Remember...
We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion.
If you're talking about Meph, then at least I'm not the only one here who thinks that.
Avatar's story was amazing. It was the other awkward sex scenes and everything else that made it stupid, but it was an amazing movie. The Book of Eli was shit because Denzel Washington is an amazing actor wasted on a ridiculous movie like this. It's like Clash of the Titans with Liam Neison or however you spell his last name.
I was actually agreeing with you for the most part, but if you're going to post trolling comments like this, then whatever. LOL @ you still thinking that you can do whatever you want around here.
Oh yeah and the sex scenes were the totally only thing that was super stupid about it. Not the fact that the film making genius that is James Cameron decided to name an element that is really hard to obtain something super awesome like "unobtanium" no that's not stupid at all.
Man you know you were right, that movie was amazing AND original! I can't believe I doubted you for one moment! (Sarcsm ftw)
Are you kidding? The scenery of the movie was amazing, and plus the story highlighted the Indian story of the early USA. Plus the entire idea of all the animals and everything else was just amazing. You apparently just don't get it lol. It's a movie that you love or you hate.