1. It's Hardcore, if your Character dies for ANY reason, legit or BS disconnect than too bad. that's kinda the definition of hardcore
Actually the only reasonable way to look at HC D3 play is ......well don't play it. It's online only for cripes sake and it's fucked.
The definition of HC should be whether or not you can test your character against permanent death in combat, not how long can you play before a connection issue smokes your character. It blows me away when people claim to have never lost a char to DC/Lag. I can only fathom that the people saying such a thing are either lying, extremely lucky or they just don't play very much.
Within the HC community, it is well known that the #1 threat to experienced HC players is internet connectivity related.
I quit HC last fall after over 400 paragon and many hundreds of hours well before paragon was added to the game. From the time I quit, one would have to go back over 1 calendar year to find an instance of myself dying legit in combat. Any and all character losses I suffered over the course of an entire year were DC/Lag related.
Example (and the last goddamn time I stood for such fuckery);
D3 HC is suicide IMO. A waste of time and ultimately it only serves to frustrate. (To the OP) Either play it or do not, but don't complain about it.