"The Internet Hates Diablo III" Writes SomethingAwful

One of the Internet's most well known websites, SomethingAwful, has commented on the recent upsurge of hatred against Diablo III's art direction with a humorous article entitled "The Internet Hates Diablo III".

Here's a snippet:

After watching the Diablo III gameplay footage, I was really excited. The visuals were fantastic, a lot of small improvements had been added without seeming to get in the way of what makes the series great, and by the end of the video I found myself moving my mouse around the screen as if I was playing. That's sad, but what's even sadder is that I'm not a big-time game journalist so I can't come up with a term like "gamesturbation" to describe the lonely and desparate act while making myself cool and quotable.

Imagine my surprise when I discovered that my positive impressions were irrational and baseless, while most of the internet saw the game for what it truly was: A personal insult to them and a serious threat to all they hold dear. If you find that you've mistakenly become mildly optimistic about the game, read on to find out where I went wrong so you can adjust accordingly.


The article actually manages to delve pretty deeply into the subject that's been making headlines in the recent days. Yes, it's actually serious. Some of you may not agree with the article, but if anything you should check it out for some good laughs, even if it means having a good laugh at yourself.

Thanks for the tip, Vacorsis!

Comments

  • #1 NonMagical
    Good read. I wish it was longer though :(
  • #2 Kwic
    Heh, funny written ;] Good find. Even i don't like the graphics, but now i feel sorry for Blizzard that they had to "listen" our whining. We should be happy, not sad. I'm now, not whining anymore. Love Diablo, love Blizzard.
  • #3 ShmeeLeeMaster
    Sol do you have to post every article or blog against the people who are giving constitutive criticism on D3?

    Let it go! The majority feel D3 should have little changes made to it to make it more on par with the mood or look of the older games.


    Way to be a non-bias staff member. (sarcasm)
  • #4 Bogus5
    Quote from "ShmeeLeeMaster" »
    Sol do you have to post every article or blog against the people who are giving constitutive criticism on D3.

    Let it go! The majority feel D3 should have little changes made to it to make it more on par with the mood or look of the older games.


    Way to be a non-bias staff member. (sarcasm)

    Jezz-Louise, constructive criticism is one thing and childish whine is quite another. Thus, Diablo 3 looks awesome and this is from a self-proclaimed-die-hard-player as myself, which found it appealing to hack and slash until he found most of the sets. Never got the Immortal King Ogre Maul though.. one of my biggest under-achievements to date. So, praise the Lord (Diablo) and just say you want to pre-order it and want to pay 100 bucks for that. Cheers.
  • #5 Sol_Invictus
    I think I was pretty non-biased in making the news post, ShmeeLeeMaster. You may not agree, but your mileage may vary.
  • #6 ShmeeLeeMaster
    Quote from name="Sol Invictus" »
    I think I was pretty non-biased in making the news post, ShmeeLeeMaster. You may not agree, but your mileage may vary.


    So your saying that the two most recent page post you have displayed don't show some bias?

    Even though both links are to a blog/article, that share your ideals for the way you think the art in D3 should be?
  • #7 Sylvanyte
    Funny article. The link is much appreciated. I don't really see how linking to a funny article about something we all obviously care about could be construed as biased.
  • #8 kurovox
    Well, I found it pretty funny. Thanks for the link, Sol.
  • #9 ShmeeLeeMaster
    Quote from "Sylvanyte" »
    Funny article. The link is much appreciated. I don't really see how linking to a funny article about something we all obviously care about could be construed as biased.


    I thought the article had its funny parts too.

    Read my post above you, it should explain.
  • #10 DamienLJ
    I gotta say, personally it's very annoying that people are complaining about these graphics and gameplay. I agree with the column entirely. I think blizzard did a great job, and that a more colorful world is better, for many reasons.

    1. Variety. Things get boring, and dark things lose their "Kick" when everything's dark. Also, the variety will make each area very unique and the world more beautiful (Not in the traditional sense, but in the sense that it looks great)

    For instance, Scary movies are scary because it's not the same thing every single time. People travel, you build relationships, you see good things and establish a feeling of relation to the subjects before they get their heads torn off.

    2. It's not ridiculous. It's a game, play it for what it is. A world of demons and darkness. So what if I want 2 inch thick armour? I'm going against demon claws I think i want thicker armour dont you? :p. Big demons are just to be expected, since I'm sure hell can create something as big as it wants.

    3. Personal preference. Even if you don't like the game and the way it looks, it's easy for you to change the contrast and saturation on your computer, it's not so easy for us to add in details and make it look good just because you want it to be dark and bland.

    I know many people have made these arguements, and others will complain regardless. I'm just getting annoyed that people would expect something other than a /good game/ and nit pick at every detail that they personally find offencive, even though it's based on no logical reasoning other than their warped view of what diablo is supposed to be.

    In the end, everyones going to have a problem with it, I'm just astonished that so many people are upset over a 10 minute video of great gameplay and graphics. It's not supposed to be bland, repetative, or realistic. It's supposed to be a game, and I think it's going to turn out great.
  • #11 Sol_Invictus
    Quote from "ShmeeLeeMaster" »
    So your saying that the two most recent page post you have displayed don't show some bias?

    Even though both links are to a blog/article, that share your ideals for the way you think the art in D3 should be?


    Biased? That's amusing. I wonder how supporting Blizzard's art direction suddenly equated to 'bias', as if there are sides to choose from. Would I be biased for calling Shakespeare a classical poet?
  • #12 ov3erlord
    that article completely and perfectly described what is going on here. i was loling for the whole time. good job someone noticed and posted it here
  • #13 ShmeeLeeMaster
    Quote from name="Sol Invictus" »
    Biased? That's amusing. I wonder how supporting Blizzard's art direction suddenly equated to 'bias', as if there are sides to choose from. Would I be biased for calling Shakespeare a classical poet?


    Yes you would if there was a currently divided debate going on about if he was indeed a classical poet.

    Here's 2 definitions
      1. A preference or an inclination, especially one that inhibits impartial judgment.
      2. An unfair act or policy stemming from prejudice.I don't see you posting any articles or blogs in support of an artistic change.
    1. #14 ulukai
      yeah, shame on you Sol, for supporting something blizzard made...it's not like we're on www.diablofans.com or anyth....oh wait a second yes we are >.<. Btw, how does 35k+ signatures classify as "the majority"...honestly...MILLIONS of people play this game, that's probably not even 1%, and then still, it's all from people who are lazy and just click on the "i agree" button at the end, so it's in no way representative.... damnit you took me off-topic again >.

      anyhowz, funny story, but like the first post said, 2 bad it's a bit on the short side ^_^
    2. #15 waddlez
      First off: I don't want a game like diablo 2 where it is just a ball of light around me and black every where else like it seems these 16bit 800x600 fan boys want (which is only in 1 or 2 dungeons, every other area is brightly lit). I don't want to play Doom 3, I want to play Diablo 3, so get over it kids.

      Secondly: LOL SA, gj OP, but your site is only well known because it failed where others succeeded...

      BUT GRATS ON BEING OBSCURE LOL
    3. #16 Sol_Invictus
      Disagreeing with someone by taking a position based on facts is not 'bias'.
    4. #17 ulukai
      Quote from "ShmeeLeeMaster" »
      Yes you would if there was a currently divided debate going on about if he was indeed a classical poet.

      Here's 2 definitions
        1. A preference or an inclination, especially one that inhibits impartial judgment.
        2. An unfair act or policy stemming from prejudice. I don't see you posting any articles or blogs in support of an artistic change.
        whinev. whined, whin·ing, whines
        v.intr.1. To utter a plaintive, high-pitched, protracted sound, as in pain, fear, supplication, or complaint.
        2. To complain or protest in a childish fashion.
        3. To produce a sustained noise of relatively high pitch: jet engines whining.


        ...honestly just let it go *rolls eyes*
      1. #18 Grimster
        Quote from "ShmeeLeeMaster" »
        Sol do you have to post every article or blog against the people who are giving constitutive criticism on D3?

        Let it go! The majority feel D3 should have little changes made to it to make it more on par with the mood or look of the older games.


        Way to be a non-bias staff member. (sarcasm)



        How do you know it is the majority?

        Or are you taking that "fact" out of the air?
      2. #19 Blodwin
        Quote from "ShmeeLeeMaster" »

        Here's 2 definitions
          1. A preference or an inclination, especially one that inhibits impartial judgment.
          2. An unfair act or policy stemming from prejudice.
          I can't see anything wrong with the posts. I can see that he has presented views that are different to yours but that's normal in a debate. Are you just going to whine until he agrees that your opinion is law?

          Get over it. Blizzard will do what they want in terms of the art and people are entitled to be excited about the game.

          You know if you don't like it you don't have to read it. And if you don't like the site's editorial style then do it better yourself or just don't visit the site.
        1. #20 ShmeeLeeMaster
          Quote from "ulukai" »
          yeah, shame on you Sol, for supporting something blizzard made...it's not like we're on www.diablofans.com or anyth....oh wait a second yes we are >.<. Btw, how does 35k+ signatures classify as "the majority"...honestly...MILLIONS of people play this game, that's probably not even 1%, and then still, it's all from people who are lazy and just click on the "i agree" button at the end, so it's in no way representative.... damnit you took me off-topic again >.

          anyhowz, funny story, but like the first post said, 2 bad it's a bit on the short side ^_^


          I will not debate the majority issue because you obviously suffer from the fallacy of infallibility.

          Also don't imply that I do not support blizzard with there d3 game. Now where in my post have I implied that blizzard does not have my support in making d3. I am a big fan of the diablo franchise.
        2. To post a comment, please or register a new account.
        Posts Quoted:
        Reply
        Clear All Quotes