They got the patch, because of the filesize of the console patch. The PC filesize is (as always) going to be nowhere near the console size and doesn't need that much time to get sorted. Besides; it's MS and Sony that control when patches get sent to the end-user (on console - if that wasn't obvious) - not the developer/publisher. They need to get sent through certification from MS/Sony.
'Blizzard always finds a way to fuck with us' - really?
I'm sure that was their first though - Obviously has to be - Can't possibly be anything else.
Season 9 starts on Friday - if you can't wait until then (at most), then you've got some serious issues in your life.
I'd hate to be anyone in your family, telling you that they have a gift for you or something, that you'd be getting within any given timeframe - guessing you might explode within minutes of getting that info.
Just relax and do something else. No need to get all fired up over something that is guaranteed to be out within 2 days (They 100% won't set the patch to go live, after a season starts - that's a 'no-go' for Blizzard).
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Did mine with the UE Fire build at the cursed peat event. Went really easy.