I have to say, I'm just an observer to the contest and didn't post, and now I'm glad I didn't. Not one winner has made any sense to me yet, neither of them was very funny while other entries were much better and didn't win. Not saying the contest is rigged...but you sure have some very strange sense of humour. <_<
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A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head!
It was the look in his eyes--that realization of absolute betrayal. The same eyes that he would soon begin licking without control; an instinctual habit of his new self: a frog.
In his human life he was a kind and gentle person. He was pure of heart and completely incorruptible. No one could make him a lesser man, not even Diablo himself; a quality I certainly lacked. But, most of all, he was my dearest friend.
Such details are becoming ever more difficult to recall. My precious memories of him and our friendship are being consumed by a growing darkness. His face is drowned in visions of blood and death; his voice by screams of hate and despair. A plague is destroying what's left of my humanity. I hardly feel remorse for the countless innocents I have slaughtered.
My bloodlust was at a peak when he uncovered the mass grave in my basement. He should have reported me at once or, better yet, have run me through that very moment. But he was a loyal friend to the end, even though he knew my former self was almost completely defiled by the Lord of Terror. He wanted to help me. What a damn fool...
I was to kill him as well, and I would have, but something inside of me still remained human enough to spare him. I couldn't let him reveal my secret, the Master would surely have ended my life in a most tortuous manner. He was pleading with me, begging that I stop the madness and let him help me. I cannot remember his exact words any more, just that I repeated "I can't... I CAN'T!"
I convinced myself that an eternal hex would be a merciful alternative to death. I think I may have been wrong. There is no hope of a princess relieving his curse with mending lips, no magic remedy. Such fantasies are only in children's tales. The best he can hope for is to avoid a kitchen.
As I looked at him one last time I realized I could not even remember his name. A flash of a memory from our childhood about a cat named Binkles crossed my mind. "Binkles," I thought. "Maybe that is your name." It is hardly a concern to me, now. My secret is safe and I can continue the dark Lord's plan.
Once upon a time, a little from named kermit was playfully leaping around. One day, Kermit did hop a little too far from her homeland and got lost. In the woods, she found a magically floating light, over that blue shiny light, something was written : Town Portal (X_Destroyer_X). She tought ''SHINYYYYY'' and jumped in the portal.
The little happy frog was in a kind of shiny tunnel, everything around her was whirling and suddently the shiny light dissappeared and Kermit landed in a dark boily swamp.
Kermit jumps out of the puddle she landed in. Kermit is then on a quest : Get that foul water off her. After few days of research, she couldnt find anything but desolation around : Dead trees everywhere, weird creatures everywhere. No clean and clear water in sight.
After few days, Kermit started to feel bad. She heard whispers that had no sources, her hops were uncontrollable : Kermit could barely land on her palms. Her skin became red with yellowish warts on her back.
With that corruption that plagued her, Kermit finally lost her mind to a terrific minor demon called Binkles. The new frog she became could leap three times higher and her tongue grew one feet longer.
Her parents never heard of her ever again and none knows what awaits Kermits in the near future or shall i say BINKLES......
Binkles the frog is said to be are said to be the final resting place of the cursed angelic princes of the ancient past. The fate of these lost souls is clear to anyone who has ever seen them. Aside from serving as a dire warning to those who would stray from the path of Heaven, he serves as a shock trooper for the Prime Evils, seeking out living mortals to share their agony. Destroying this amphibious form may unleash the trapped angelic spirits in a cascade of crystalline frost novas.
Said to be still looking for a succubi willing to kiss him
Binkles the frog is said to be the final resting place of the traitor angelic princes of the ancient past. The fate of these lost souls is clear to anyone who has ever seen them. Aside from serving as a dire warning to those who would stray from the path of Heaven, he serves as a shock trooper for the Prime Evils, seeking out living mortals to share their agony. Destroying this amphibious form may unleash the trapped angelic spirits in a devastating Armageddon of crystalline frost novas.
Said to be still looking for a succubi willing to kiss him
Well here goes nothing. hope you enjoy my idea lol.
Binkles the Frog is quite the overlooked character in the Diablo universe. Also known as "The Lucky Frog," Binkles has been loved by the Cain family for generations. Long ago, while Deckard Cain was younger and studying his magic spells, he came across a life lengthening spell from a dusty, old tome. Curious as to if the spell would work, Deckard decided to try it out on his lucky pet frog, Binkles. After gathering all the necessary reagents, Deckard performed the magic spell in his private study room. With a poof and a flash, Binkles seemed to have a glistening sheen to his slimy, lizard skin; Deckard knew this wasn't just swamp slime sheen. The spell had worked, and throughout the following years, Binkles has been a lucky charm in the Cain family, providing morale boosts or a luckier chance to find items and gold when clicked upon.
Favorite Deckard Cain quote about Binkles: "This frog is a reminder of how old I am, and how many times I've cheated death! Wait, where did Binkles go?"
Hope you liked my story guys, really hope you will pick me for the beta key! i upgraded my computer just for diablo 3!
Binkles the frog is said to be the final resting place of the traitor angelic princes of the ancient past. The fate of these lost souls is clear to anyone who has ever seen him. Aside from serving as a dire warning to those who would stray from the path of Heaven, he serves as a shock trooper for the Prime Evils, seeking out living mortals to share his agony. Destroying this amphibious form may unleash the trapped angelic spirits in a devastating Armageddon with the ability to destroy an entire nation.
Said to be still looking for a succubus willing to kiss him
Azmodan sits upon his evil hell-throne, gently stroking the back of his beloved pet, Binkles(worth). Extending one pinky finger and placing it upon his chin; a tight-lipped evil grin spreads across his face. Towering over the defenseless and horrified Leah he basks in his own gloriously evil power.
Then he speaks, "Here's the plan: We get the Black Soulstone and then hold the world ransom for ONE MILLION DOLLARS."
When Leah hears this she becomes more relaxed and regains her composure. "Really?"
Belial leans over and whispers to Azmodan, "Don't you think we should maybe ask for more money?"
!!!*Spoiler Alert*!!!
When the game is over Azmodan, Belial, and all the demons and sharks with lasers are defeated by the 5 heroes and Binkles runs away.
Azmodan sits upon his evil hell-throne, gently stroking the back of his beloved pet, Binkles. Extending one pinky finger and placing it upon his chin; a tight-lipped evil grin spreads across his face. Towering over the defenseless and horrified Leah he basks in his own gloriously evil power.
Then he speaks, "Here's the plan: We get the Black Soulstone and then hold the world ransom for ONE MILLION DOLLARS."
When Leah hears this she becomes more relaxed and regains her composure. "Really?"
Belial leans over and whispers to Azmodan, "Don't you think we should maybe ask for more money?"
!!!*Spoiler Alert*!!!
When the game is over Azmodan, Belial, all the demons and sharks with lasers are defeated by the 5 heroes and Binkles runs away.
It all started when our over-heralded star, Binkles the Frog, woke up in a secret vineyard. It was the tenth time it had happened. Feeling excessively worried, Binkles the Frog slapped a dangerous oil-soaked rag, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). Duly ecstatic about the looming crises, he realized that his beloved potion was missing! Immediately he called his fundamentalist, guilt-dispensing friend, Toxin the Witch Doctor. Binkles the Frog had known Toxin the Witch Doctor for (plus or minus) 1.2 billion years, the majority of which were enticing ones. Toxin the Witch Doctor was unique. He was ingenious though sometimes a little... stupid. Binkles the Frog called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Toxin the Witch Doctor picked up to a very nervous Binkles the Frog. Toxin the Witch Doctor calmly assured him that most 3-legged wallabies grimace before mating, yet long-haired sea monkeys usually scandalously grimace *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Binkles the Frog. Why was Toxin the Witch Doctor trying to distract Binkles the Frog? Because he had snuck out from Binkles the Frog's with the potion only eight days prior. It was a eccentric little potion... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Binkles the Frog got back to the subject at hand: his potion. Toxin the Witch Doctor grimaced. Relunctantly, Toxin the Witch Doctor invited him over, assuring him they'd find the potion. Binkles the Frog grabbed his George Foreman grill and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Toxin the Witch Doctor realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the potion and he had to do it aimlessly. He figured that if Binkles the Frog took the best-in-its-so-called-'class' sedan, he had take at least ten minutes before Binkles the Frog would get there. But if he took the teleporter? Then Toxin the Witch Doctor would be excessively screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Toxin the Witch Doctor was interrupted by six clueless spiders that were lured by his potion. Toxin the Witch Doctor belched; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he aggressively reached for his wolverine and fearlessly slapped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the secret vineyard, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the teleporter rolling up. It was Binkles the Frog.
----o0o----
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Jim's House of Wings to pick up a 12-pack of dangerous oil-soaked rags, so he knew he was running late. With a quick leap, Binkles the Frog was out of the teleporter and went exotically jaunting toward Toxin the Witch Doctor's front door. Meanwhile inside, Toxin the Witch Doctor was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the potion into a box of gerbils and then slid the box behind his hippopotamus. Toxin the Witch Doctor was stunned but at least the potion was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Toxin the Witch Doctor explosively purred. With a heroic push, Binkles the Frog opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some insensitive spite-toting jerk in a deliciously practical 4-door,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Toxin the Witch Doctor assured him. Binkles the Frog took a seat not remotely close to where Toxin the Witch Doctor had hidden the potion. Toxin the Witch Doctor shuddered trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Binkles the Frog was distracted. Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, Toxin the Witch Doctor noticed a funny-smelling look on Binkles the Frog's face. Binkles the Frog slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Toxin the Witch Doctor felt a stabbing pain in his double chin when Binkles the Frog asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the potion right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A abrasive look started to form on Binkles the Frog's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's potatos from when she used to have pet albino cats. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Binkles the Frog nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Toxin the Witch Doctor could react, Binkles the Frog thoughtfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The potion was plainly in view.
Binkles the Frog stared at Toxin the Witch Doctor for what what must've been four minutes. A few unfulfilled decades later, Toxin the Witch Doctor groped indiscriminately in Binkles the Frog's direction, clearly desperate. Binkles the Frog grabbed the potion and bolted for the door. It was locked. Toxin the Witch Doctor let out a eccentric chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Binkles the Frog,' he rebuked. Toxin the Witch Doctor always had been a little pestering, so Binkles the Frog knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Toxin the Witch Doctor did something crazy, like... start chucking dangerous oil-soaked rags at him or something. A few unsatisfying minutes later, he gripped his potion tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Toxin the Witch Doctor looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Binkles the Frog. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame seven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Binkles the Frog. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Toxin the Witch Doctor walked over to the window and looked down. Binkles the Frog was gone.
----o0o----
Just yonder, Binkles the Frog was struggling to make his way through the haunted thicket behind Toxin the Witch Doctor's place. Binkles the Frog had severely hurt his double chin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral spiders suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the potion. One by one they latched on to Binkles the Frog. Already weakened from his injury, Binkles the Frog yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of spiders running off with his potion.
But then God came down with His plucky smile and restored Binkles the Frog's potion. Feeling relieved, God smote the spiders for their injustice. Then He got in His best-in-its-so-called-'class' sedan and zipped away with the fortitude of 1.2 billion 3-legged wallabies running from a teensy pack of man-eating capybaras. Binkles the Frog fell with joy when he saw this. His potion was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in eight minutes his favorite TV show, Lizzie McGuire, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When man-eating capybaras meet pipe bomb'). Binkles the Frog was pleased. And so, everyone except Toxin the Witch Doctor and a few rusty razor blade-toting legless puppies lived blissfully happy, forever after.
Said to once be a trusted Defender of Sanctuary, Jakob Binkles was a renowned General at Fort Gorthlian. Gorthlian was a station for travellers and merchants at the borders of the dense jungles of Teganze. It was like so many other settlements of its kind. But it was also a place for mercenaries, thieves and murderers alike.
One day a witch doctor came to the fort. Tired, worn out and battle scared, he went to the Inn and stood in an corner by himself. He shook and drank from a strange potion constantly. Innkeeper Marshfield later told, that he seemed...evil somehow. His eyes we're dead and hollow, and he keept mumbling words that no man could understand. He seemed aggressive and nervous, and the stench on him were almost unbearable.
"My god, that man really scares the customers. Can't we do something about him?" barmaid Josie whispered to Marshfield.
"I don't know. He really scares me too. Go fetch one of the guards." Marshfield whispered back.
Josie left quietly, without looking at the witch doctor. But he looked at her. He knew what was about to happen. He clutched his blowpipe with his dirty hand and his eyes blazed with anger. A minute later a guard entered the Inn. Josie was behind him, cowering. It went dead silent, and some of the customers even left the establishment, almost crawling against the walls.
"You there! Follow me." the guard said firmly and pointed at the witch doctor. No reaction. The witch doctor grinned and kept mumbling words.
"I said, follow me!" The guard drew his sword and pointed it at the witch doctor. The grin froze on the witch doctors face. It went from a grin to an angry face, filled with rage. Slowly he pulled a dart from his belt and put it in his blowpipe.
"Hey! Stop that!" Put that thing down or I will run you through!" the guard shouted nervously. Josie whimpered and ran behind the bar. Marshfield held her and they both lowered themselves further behind the bar.
The witch doctor raised the blowpipe and blew the dart right at the guard. It hit him in the throat. The guard let out a scream and fell to the ground, shaking and foaming at the mouth. His body spasmed a few seconds before it went limb. He was dead. The witch doctor smiled again.
"GUARDS!" Marshfield screamed, hoping that General Binkles would respond. And he did. He came rushing in, sword drawn and shield ready.
"Watch out for that witch doctor!" Marshfield screamed. Binkles reaction was perfect as always. As a dart came flying through the air, he raised his shield and blocked it. He then charged over a table, towards the witch doctor. But the witch doctor was already ahead of him. He began chanting some strange words. A green, sharp light shone from his right hand, and it kept getting brighter and brighter. Binkles shield hit the witch doctor, knocking him down and interrupting his chanting. They both crashed to the ground, tables and chairs tumbling down with them. Glasses shattered everywhere. But the witch doctor was fast on his feet again. Binkels swung at him with his sword, cutting his left foot clean of. The shriek from the witch doctor was terrifying and loud, and as he fell to the ground, almost black blood poured out on the dirty floor. General Binkles was on his feet again and slowly moved towards the witch doctor, who now was crawling away from him, cursing.
"Fools! You do not know what I have seen! The horrors I have witnessed. I curse you all. I curse you, General!" he shrieked. Once again, he started chanting, and the green light from his hand was even brighter this time. So bright, that it blinded everyone in the room. A ray of green light shot from his hand, directly at Binkles. It hit him in the chest and Bikles froze in his place. Sword and shield fell to the ground with a loud crash. Binkles eyes went blank and h fell to his knees. Suddenly, his body started to shake and the worst pain one could imagine filled his entire body. His screams began to change pitch and his voice became thinner and thinner. His whole body began transforming. After a few seconds, the screams were gone. His clothes and armor were lying on the floor in a pile. Suddenly, a large frog crawled out from underneath the pile of clothes. It was orange with yellow spot all over. It was quite an unusual looking frog, one would say.
The witch doctor laughed manically. But it was too late for him. His blood loss was too severe, and he slowly died on the floor, mumbling the words finally peace...finally peace... Josie and Marshfield stood up once again. They saw the horrors of what had happened.
"What happened to Binkles? What kind of voodoo is this? Oh no..." Josie cried. Marshfield watched at the carnage that taken place.
"I don't know, Josie. I don't know." he said softly. He looked at the frog, then at the dead witch doctor. "I guess we'll never know. Come girl, help me remove his body."
"What about Binkles? What about the...frog?" she sniffled. But the frog was already gone. Where to no one knows for sure, but legends tell that it has been seen around for ages.
This was how the events was written down by Innkeeper Marshfield of Fort Gorthlian.
"So there I was, eyeballing intently the ashen cover of my newly aquired tome, perched atop a small palm tree overlooking the Dahlgur Oasis. Who could have imagined that such a tranquil afternoon could be so ravaged by such a small, seemingly innocuous amphibian?"
Abd al-Hazir
Binkles the Frog is the colloquial term for the immortal mythical spirit of mishap. This embodiement of all things unstructured and unexpected appears fleetingly and rarely, usually to those of great importance at times of great importance. His goal is unknown to most, but it is said that he is a test to those whom he disturbs. A test of resolve and focus, a force to judge those with the potential to be the future heroes and leaders of Sanctuary, a force to change the course of all things away from a powerful secret.
"I peered above the pages into his unblinking eyes, as he peered back into mine. I could feel a firming breeze behind my back that pierced through my linen, and in that moment I understood what was in store for me."
Abd al-Hazir
Binkles is an important creature with a long history of important actions. He was originally a demonic hellspawn, who assisted Inarius and Lilith greatly in the theft and hiding of the Worldstone through creating diversions that shifted the focus off that impossible heist. Binkles was thus given reign over all of nature at the origin of Sanctuary, with the mission to use his mischievous ways to eternally protect said Worldstone from the universe's misbalance. Only those acting for the interest of the entirety of the Nephalem would be allowed to pass his test; purely those who are selfless, unbiased and strong enough of character would be unaffected by this entity. Binkles the Frog: Godly Guardian of the Worldstone.
"Waking at night is never a good thing. Waking at night cold and afraid, amnetic of the preceeding half-day, is much worse. My last recollection is of opening the cover of that dark, cobwebbed book, found deep in an equally dark, cobwebbed cave. I wish I could see in my mind's eye what that book held, because my hands still glow from its arcane dust. That darn frog."
Abd al-Hazir
Avid Sevvil had loved the blacksmith's daughter for years. Somehow, each day he would find a reason to pass by the smithy in the hopes that he would see her radiant face. He knew he needed to talk with her, but the Sevvil family name held no respect. Living in the forest outside of the village, the Sevvil's suffered the reproach and admonition of the nearby townsfolk. They considered him and his family barely good enough to eat with the rats. Some in the town even called him "Binkles" because as a child, his forehead was full of wrinkles. The teasing song, children sang, about the "boy with wrinkles" simply added to his humiliation. The blacksmith's daughter, strangely, had been the only person in town that didn't look at Avid with disapproval, and because of this, he knew in his heart that she was different...and just maybe she could love him back.
Perhaps it was fate then that he met a passing witch doctor in the forest. Avid knew nothing of the umbaru peoples, and had he understood them he would have immediately made off in the opposite direction. As it was, however, he struck up a conversation with the traveler and after some time Avid told the witch doctor he was in love. The witch doctor stared at him in silence, almost as if he was pondering Avid's situation. Then after what seemed like ages, the strange man burst into a wild dance. Avid stepped back, but felt compelled to watch and listen as the witch doctor began rambling in a foreign tongue.
"OOO! EEE!" cackled the man as he danced slowly closer and closer. Avid was frozen, eyes locked squarely on the ritualistic display before him.
"OUA AHTINTAN!" the chanting continued. Avid felt powerless as the witch doctor moved within a finger's length of his face. The sky seemed to darken above the boughs of the nearby trees, and the sounds of the forest were drowned out by the eerie words dancing off the lips of this mysterious man.
Suddenly the chanting became louder. "WALAWA LABI!" cried the witch doctor, his voice taking on an almost animalistic tone.
"ENG BA ANE!
It was over. Avid looked around and to his surprise the witch doctor was gone. Confused, and a little frightened, he turned around and made his way home while trying not to think about what had just transpired. Before falling asleep, he felt something deep within himself changing, almost against his will. His thoughts, however, eventually melted away and he fell into a dreamless slumber.
The next morning, Avid awoke with a feeling of great determination. He made up his mind and decided he would finally talk to the blacksmith's daughter. Shoving aside feelings of inadequacy and fear, he headed into town.
Avid entered the village and as he neared the blacksmith, he could see a beautiful woman staring towards him. As he drew closer, he realized she was looking directly at him. She stood there, unmoving, almost as if she had been waiting all morning for this moment. Avid walked right up to her and stared into her blue-green eyes. Avid felt a wave of intensity well up inside him, and he knew exactly what he would finally say to her.
"Your love has been kept from me..." Avid heard himself speak. Something wasn't right, however. "...just like you were a miser!" he said, his voice growing louder. What was happening?! He tried to stop himself, but it was no use. He had no control over his actions, and as each second passed by he felt an increasing sense of dread. It was as if he was changing into someone else...or something else.
"I may not be smart." Avid started. "But I found someone else who was much wiser than me..."
A painful squeezing sensation overcame his body as he croaked out a few final words.
With those final words, the transformation was complete. The beautiful woman that had held such a powerful sway over Avid knelt down and picked him up. She seemed almost sad as she cupped her hands around him. His thoughts slowly faded from his consciousness, but just before they left him, he saw a flash of silver pass by. In it was the reflection of a beautiful woman carefully carrying a small orange frog.
In his human life he was a kind and gentle person. He was pure of heart and completely incorruptible. No one could make him a lesser man, not even Diablo himself; a quality I certainly lacked. But, most of all, he was my dearest friend.
Such details are becoming ever more difficult to recall. My precious memories of him and our friendship are being consumed by a growing darkness. His face is drowned in visions of blood and death; his voice by screams of hate and despair. A plague is destroying what's left of my humanity. I hardly feel remorse for the countless innocents I have slaughtered.
My bloodlust was at a peak when he uncovered the mass grave in my basement. He should have reported me at once or, better yet, have run me through that very moment. But he was a loyal friend to the end, even though he knew my former self was almost completely defiled by the Lord of Terror. He wanted to help me. What a damn fool...
I was to kill him as well, and I would have, but something inside of me still remained human enough to spare him. I couldn't let him reveal my secret, the Master would surely have ended my life in a most tortuous manner. He was pleading with me, begging that I stop the madness and let him help me. I cannot remember his exact words any more, just that I repeated "I can't... I CAN'T!"
I convinced myself that an eternal hex would be a merciful alternative to death. I think I may have been wrong. There is no hope of a princess relieving his curse with mending lips, no magic remedy. Such fantasies are only in children's tales. The best he can hope for is to avoid a kitchen.
As I looked at him one last time I realized I could not even remember his name. A flash of a memory from our childhood about a cat named Binkles crossed my mind. "Binkles," I thought. "Maybe that is your name." It is hardly a concern to me, now. My secret is safe and I can continue the dark Lord's plan.
The little happy frog was in a kind of shiny tunnel, everything around her was whirling and suddently the shiny light dissappeared and Kermit landed in a dark boily swamp.
Kermit jumps out of the puddle she landed in. Kermit is then on a quest : Get that foul water off her. After few days of research, she couldnt find anything but desolation around : Dead trees everywhere, weird creatures everywhere. No clean and clear water in sight.
After few days, Kermit started to feel bad. She heard whispers that had no sources, her hops were uncontrollable : Kermit could barely land on her palms. Her skin became red with yellowish warts on her back.
With that corruption that plagued her, Kermit finally lost her mind to a terrific minor demon called Binkles. The new frog she became could leap three times higher and her tongue grew one feet longer.
Her parents never heard of her ever again and none knows what awaits Kermits in the near future or shall i say BINKLES......
Said to be still looking for a succubi willing to kiss him
Said to be still looking for a succubi willing to kiss him
Binkles the Frog is quite the overlooked character in the Diablo universe. Also known as "The Lucky Frog," Binkles has been loved by the Cain family for generations. Long ago, while Deckard Cain was younger and studying his magic spells, he came across a life lengthening spell from a dusty, old tome. Curious as to if the spell would work, Deckard decided to try it out on his lucky pet frog, Binkles. After gathering all the necessary reagents, Deckard performed the magic spell in his private study room. With a poof and a flash, Binkles seemed to have a glistening sheen to his slimy, lizard skin; Deckard knew this wasn't just swamp slime sheen. The spell had worked, and throughout the following years, Binkles has been a lucky charm in the Cain family, providing morale boosts or a luckier chance to find items and gold when clicked upon.
Favorite Deckard Cain quote about Binkles: "This frog is a reminder of how old I am, and how many times I've cheated death! Wait, where did Binkles go?"
Hope you liked my story guys, really hope you will pick me for the beta key! i upgraded my computer just for diablo 3!
Said to be still looking for a succubus willing to kiss him
Then he speaks, "Here's the plan: We get the Black Soulstone and then hold the world ransom for ONE MILLION DOLLARS."
When Leah hears this she becomes more relaxed and regains her composure. "Really?"
Belial leans over and whispers to Azmodan, "Don't you think we should maybe ask for more money?"
!!!*Spoiler Alert*!!!
When the game is over Azmodan, Belial, and all the demons and sharks with lasers are defeated by the 5 heroes and Binkles runs away.
Then he speaks, "Here's the plan: We get the Black Soulstone and then hold the world ransom for ONE MILLION DOLLARS."
When Leah hears this she becomes more relaxed and regains her composure. "Really?"
Belial leans over and whispers to Azmodan, "Don't you think we should maybe ask for more money?"
!!!*Spoiler Alert*!!!
When the game is over Azmodan, Belial, all the demons and sharks with lasers are defeated by the 5 heroes and Binkles runs away.
Toxin the Witch Doctor picked up to a very nervous Binkles the Frog. Toxin the Witch Doctor calmly assured him that most 3-legged wallabies grimace before mating, yet long-haired sea monkeys usually scandalously grimace *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Binkles the Frog. Why was Toxin the Witch Doctor trying to distract Binkles the Frog? Because he had snuck out from Binkles the Frog's with the potion only eight days prior. It was a eccentric little potion... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Binkles the Frog got back to the subject at hand: his potion. Toxin the Witch Doctor grimaced. Relunctantly, Toxin the Witch Doctor invited him over, assuring him they'd find the potion. Binkles the Frog grabbed his George Foreman grill and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Toxin the Witch Doctor realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the potion and he had to do it aimlessly. He figured that if Binkles the Frog took the best-in-its-so-called-'class' sedan, he had take at least ten minutes before Binkles the Frog would get there. But if he took the teleporter? Then Toxin the Witch Doctor would be excessively screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Toxin the Witch Doctor was interrupted by six clueless spiders that were lured by his potion. Toxin the Witch Doctor belched; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling stunned, he aggressively reached for his wolverine and fearlessly slapped every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the secret vineyard, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the teleporter rolling up. It was Binkles the Frog.
----o0o----
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Jim's House of Wings to pick up a 12-pack of dangerous oil-soaked rags, so he knew he was running late. With a quick leap, Binkles the Frog was out of the teleporter and went exotically jaunting toward Toxin the Witch Doctor's front door. Meanwhile inside, Toxin the Witch Doctor was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the potion into a box of gerbils and then slid the box behind his hippopotamus. Toxin the Witch Doctor was stunned but at least the potion was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Toxin the Witch Doctor explosively purred. With a heroic push, Binkles the Frog opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some insensitive spite-toting jerk in a deliciously practical 4-door,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Toxin the Witch Doctor assured him. Binkles the Frog took a seat not remotely close to where Toxin the Witch Doctor had hidden the potion. Toxin the Witch Doctor shuddered trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But Binkles the Frog was distracted. Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, Toxin the Witch Doctor noticed a funny-smelling look on Binkles the Frog's face. Binkles the Frog slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Toxin the Witch Doctor felt a stabbing pain in his double chin when Binkles the Frog asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the potion right by his oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A abrasive look started to form on Binkles the Frog's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's potatos from when she used to have pet albino cats. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Binkles the Frog nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Toxin the Witch Doctor could react, Binkles the Frog thoughtfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The potion was plainly in view.
Binkles the Frog stared at Toxin the Witch Doctor for what what must've been four minutes. A few unfulfilled decades later, Toxin the Witch Doctor groped indiscriminately in Binkles the Frog's direction, clearly desperate. Binkles the Frog grabbed the potion and bolted for the door. It was locked. Toxin the Witch Doctor let out a eccentric chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Binkles the Frog,' he rebuked. Toxin the Witch Doctor always had been a little pestering, so Binkles the Frog knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Toxin the Witch Doctor did something crazy, like... start chucking dangerous oil-soaked rags at him or something. A few unsatisfying minutes later, he gripped his potion tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Toxin the Witch Doctor looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Binkles the Frog. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame seven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for Binkles the Frog. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Toxin the Witch Doctor walked over to the window and looked down. Binkles the Frog was gone.
----o0o----
Just yonder, Binkles the Frog was struggling to make his way through the haunted thicket behind Toxin the Witch Doctor's place. Binkles the Frog had severely hurt his double chin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral spiders suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the potion. One by one they latched on to Binkles the Frog. Already weakened from his injury, Binkles the Frog yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of spiders running off with his potion.
But then God came down with His plucky smile and restored Binkles the Frog's potion. Feeling relieved, God smote the spiders for their injustice. Then He got in His best-in-its-so-called-'class' sedan and zipped away with the fortitude of 1.2 billion 3-legged wallabies running from a teensy pack of man-eating capybaras. Binkles the Frog fell with joy when he saw this. His potion was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in eight minutes his favorite TV show, Lizzie McGuire, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When man-eating capybaras meet pipe bomb'). Binkles the Frog was pleased. And so, everyone except Toxin the Witch Doctor and a few rusty razor blade-toting legless puppies lived blissfully happy, forever after.
One day a witch doctor came to the fort. Tired, worn out and battle scared, he went to the Inn and stood in an corner by himself. He shook and drank from a strange potion constantly. Innkeeper Marshfield later told, that he seemed...evil somehow. His eyes we're dead and hollow, and he keept mumbling words that no man could understand. He seemed aggressive and nervous, and the stench on him were almost unbearable.
"My god, that man really scares the customers. Can't we do something about him?" barmaid Josie whispered to Marshfield.
"I don't know. He really scares me too. Go fetch one of the guards." Marshfield whispered back.
Josie left quietly, without looking at the witch doctor. But he looked at her. He knew what was about to happen. He clutched his blowpipe with his dirty hand and his eyes blazed with anger. A minute later a guard entered the Inn. Josie was behind him, cowering. It went dead silent, and some of the customers even left the establishment, almost crawling against the walls.
"You there! Follow me." the guard said firmly and pointed at the witch doctor. No reaction. The witch doctor grinned and kept mumbling words.
"I said, follow me!" The guard drew his sword and pointed it at the witch doctor. The grin froze on the witch doctors face. It went from a grin to an angry face, filled with rage. Slowly he pulled a dart from his belt and put it in his blowpipe.
"Hey! Stop that!" Put that thing down or I will run you through!" the guard shouted nervously. Josie whimpered and ran behind the bar. Marshfield held her and they both lowered themselves further behind the bar.
The witch doctor raised the blowpipe and blew the dart right at the guard. It hit him in the throat. The guard let out a scream and fell to the ground, shaking and foaming at the mouth. His body spasmed a few seconds before it went limb. He was dead. The witch doctor smiled again.
"GUARDS!" Marshfield screamed, hoping that General Binkles would respond. And he did. He came rushing in, sword drawn and shield ready.
"Watch out for that witch doctor!" Marshfield screamed. Binkles reaction was perfect as always. As a dart came flying through the air, he raised his shield and blocked it. He then charged over a table, towards the witch doctor. But the witch doctor was already ahead of him. He began chanting some strange words. A green, sharp light shone from his right hand, and it kept getting brighter and brighter. Binkles shield hit the witch doctor, knocking him down and interrupting his chanting. They both crashed to the ground, tables and chairs tumbling down with them. Glasses shattered everywhere. But the witch doctor was fast on his feet again. Binkels swung at him with his sword, cutting his left foot clean of. The shriek from the witch doctor was terrifying and loud, and as he fell to the ground, almost black blood poured out on the dirty floor. General Binkles was on his feet again and slowly moved towards the witch doctor, who now was crawling away from him, cursing.
"Fools! You do not know what I have seen! The horrors I have witnessed. I curse you all. I curse you, General!" he shrieked. Once again, he started chanting, and the green light from his hand was even brighter this time. So bright, that it blinded everyone in the room. A ray of green light shot from his hand, directly at Binkles. It hit him in the chest and Bikles froze in his place. Sword and shield fell to the ground with a loud crash. Binkles eyes went blank and h fell to his knees. Suddenly, his body started to shake and the worst pain one could imagine filled his entire body. His screams began to change pitch and his voice became thinner and thinner. His whole body began transforming. After a few seconds, the screams were gone. His clothes and armor were lying on the floor in a pile. Suddenly, a large frog crawled out from underneath the pile of clothes. It was orange with yellow spot all over. It was quite an unusual looking frog, one would say.
The witch doctor laughed manically. But it was too late for him. His blood loss was too severe, and he slowly died on the floor, mumbling the words finally peace...finally peace... Josie and Marshfield stood up once again. They saw the horrors of what had happened.
"What happened to Binkles? What kind of voodoo is this? Oh no..." Josie cried. Marshfield watched at the carnage that taken place.
"I don't know, Josie. I don't know." he said softly. He looked at the frog, then at the dead witch doctor. "I guess we'll never know. Come girl, help me remove his body."
"What about Binkles? What about the...frog?" she sniffled. But the frog was already gone. Where to no one knows for sure, but legends tell that it has been seen around for ages.
This was how the events was written down by Innkeeper Marshfield of Fort Gorthlian.
Binkles was a INSTERT BETA OR BLIZZARD REFERENCE HERE.
There, do I win now? Sorry if I sound bitter.
Abd al-Hazir
Binkles the Frog is the colloquial term for the immortal mythical spirit of mishap. This embodiement of all things unstructured and unexpected appears fleetingly and rarely, usually to those of great importance at times of great importance. His goal is unknown to most, but it is said that he is a test to those whom he disturbs. A test of resolve and focus, a force to judge those with the potential to be the future heroes and leaders of Sanctuary, a force to change the course of all things away from a powerful secret.
"I peered above the pages into his unblinking eyes, as he peered back into mine. I could feel a firming breeze behind my back that pierced through my linen, and in that moment I understood what was in store for me."
Abd al-Hazir
Binkles is an important creature with a long history of important actions. He was originally a demonic hellspawn, who assisted Inarius and Lilith greatly in the theft and hiding of the Worldstone through creating diversions that shifted the focus off that impossible heist. Binkles was thus given reign over all of nature at the origin of Sanctuary, with the mission to use his mischievous ways to eternally protect said Worldstone from the universe's misbalance. Only those acting for the interest of the entirety of the Nephalem would be allowed to pass his test; purely those who are selfless, unbiased and strong enough of character would be unaffected by this entity. Binkles the Frog: Godly Guardian of the Worldstone.
"Waking at night is never a good thing. Waking at night cold and afraid, amnetic of the preceeding half-day, is much worse. My last recollection is of opening the cover of that dark, cobwebbed book, found deep in an equally dark, cobwebbed cave. I wish I could see in my mind's eye what that book held, because my hands still glow from its arcane dust. That darn frog."
Abd al-Hazir
Perhaps it was fate then that he met a passing witch doctor in the forest. Avid knew nothing of the umbaru peoples, and had he understood them he would have immediately made off in the opposite direction. As it was, however, he struck up a conversation with the traveler and after some time Avid told the witch doctor he was in love. The witch doctor stared at him in silence, almost as if he was pondering Avid's situation. Then after what seemed like ages, the strange man burst into a wild dance. Avid stepped back, but felt compelled to watch and listen as the witch doctor began rambling in a foreign tongue.
"OOO! EEE!" cackled the man as he danced slowly closer and closer. Avid was frozen, eyes locked squarely on the ritualistic display before him.
"OUA AHTINTAN!" the chanting continued. Avid felt powerless as the witch doctor moved within a finger's length of his face. The sky seemed to darken above the boughs of the nearby trees, and the sounds of the forest were drowned out by the eerie words dancing off the lips of this mysterious man.
Suddenly the chanting became louder. "WALAWA LABI!" cried the witch doctor, his voice taking on an almost animalistic tone.
"ENG BA ANE!
It was over. Avid looked around and to his surprise the witch doctor was gone. Confused, and a little frightened, he turned around and made his way home while trying not to think about what had just transpired. Before falling asleep, he felt something deep within himself changing, almost against his will. His thoughts, however, eventually melted away and he fell into a dreamless slumber.
The next morning, Avid awoke with a feeling of great determination. He made up his mind and decided he would finally talk to the blacksmith's daughter. Shoving aside feelings of inadequacy and fear, he headed into town.
Avid entered the village and as he neared the blacksmith, he could see a beautiful woman staring towards him. As he drew closer, he realized she was looking directly at him. She stood there, unmoving, almost as if she had been waiting all morning for this moment. Avid walked right up to her and stared into her blue-green eyes. Avid felt a wave of intensity well up inside him, and he knew exactly what he would finally say to her.
"Your love has been kept from me..." Avid heard himself speak. Something wasn't right, however. "...just like you were a miser!" he said, his voice growing louder. What was happening?! He tried to stop himself, but it was no use. He had no control over his actions, and as each second passed by he felt an increasing sense of dread. It was as if he was changing into someone else...or something else.
"I may not be smart." Avid started. "But I found someone else who was much wiser than me..."
A painful squeezing sensation overcame his body as he croaked out a few final words.
"He...taught me...the way...to...win...your...heart."
With those final words, the transformation was complete. The beautiful woman that had held such a powerful sway over Avid knelt down and picked him up. She seemed almost sad as she cupped her hands around him. His thoughts slowly faded from his consciousness, but just before they left him, he saw a flash of silver pass by. In it was the reflection of a beautiful woman carefully carrying a small orange frog.