DiabloFans

I am looking forward to it. I was wondering when you were going to post something.

synopsis:

Monk E-Mayhem:
A light tale of a boy and his journey of making it as a Monk with many misconceptions along the way.

The Mercenary -
The story of a mercenary on the road to redemption.

of course, that is why the writing guild is here. I look forward to reading more.

I reviewed A Lesson in Life and Death By:shibblicious

Here

The Veiling: Chapters II and III by Seth

Style - 8/10
Nothing special about the style but nothing bad about it either.

Originality - 9/10
Great twist on the Diablo lore. The whole setup in the beginning is a unique way to start the story and the rest follows suit. The characters are also very imaginative and creative.

Overall Story - 8/10
The story is pretty good so far. Every time you read a section, you wonder what will happen next. There have been some major events that have already occurred and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Character Viability - 9/10
I feel very connected to the main character. I understand his feelings and why and what he is doing. Other characters have been given clear voices that make them unique and stand out. I would like another character to connect with as much as Nyeyon.

Clarity of Writing - 9/10
Very clear reading. There are next to no spelling and grammar mistakes to get in the way. The only time I have a problem is with the switching back and forth in dialogue. Sometimes it was hard to understand who was saying which line.

Overall Score: 43/50
The story has a great start. I can't wait top see what else happens along Nyeyon's path. I would like to see a little more action to keep the story moving.

Dfans the movie- the Journey Begins. by Nekrodrac

Style - 9/10
Love the narration of the story. I like how the narrator interacts with both the reader and the characters. I also love the little tidbits at the end of the actual story to give it some more character.

Originality - 9/10
So far, the story has been set up well and the story is very unique. There is a fully fleshed out lore for the story and the overall outline seems very unique given its fantasy genre.

Overall Story - 8/10
The overall story has not progressed to much yet. The two protagonists have started on the journey. The background, however, laid out in the second chapters has set up the rest of the story very well. You get a sense of what has happened on these lands so far and have been given vague reasons for the story to continue.

Character Viability - 7/10
While the characters is the story are fun because they pertain to the users on these forums, the only real character that has been talked about is Nekro's. I think too many people have been introduced to early, not giving them enough time to develop as real characters.

Clarity of Writing - 8/10
The story reads fairly well. There are a few grammatical errors that get in the way of the writing. The story could also benefit from being broken up into clearer paragraphs and sections. I like that the narrator's voice switches to a different color when the dialogue is meant to be more direct.

Overall Score: 41/50
So far the story has been great. The story seems interesting and I can't wait to read more. The ScyberDragon summon better be amazing

A Lesson in Life and Death By:shibblicious

Style - 8/10
I liked the idea of doing it from somebody else's point of view rather than from the Dhampir's point of view. Writing as on of Abd-al Hazir's journal is a fun approach to the story.

Originality - 7/10
Obviously the style is taken from Diablo's website. Vampire's themselves are also not original. However, I loved the unique twist that the Dhampir's are fighting against their makers because of the death's of their mothers. This is a great idea to get an "evil" class on the side of good.

Overall Story - 7/10
I liked the situation that was given but it was much too short and didn't dive deep enough into the story of the Dhampirs. I would have like to have gotten some better and more flushed out history of the Dhampirs. Also, there is no real plot to the story other than to give a small back story to the Dhampirs as class.

Character Viability - 7/10
Abd-al Hazir's character does little but narrate the scene given. I don't feel any real connection to this character. Since Abd-al Hazir takes up the majority of the story, I felt no real connection to the Dhampir in the story. I would like to have felt some anguish and suffering from the Dhampir for the loss of his mother or more fear and feeling from Abd-al Hazir

Clarity of Writing - 9/10
The story is very clear and easy to follow. I never found myself having to re-read sections to gain more clarity. The story paints an obvious picture while leaving out unnecessary details to the story.


Overall Score: 38/50

Overall, it just needs more. It is a great beginning and a good story considering its use. I would like to get more on the Dhampirs and have them fully fleshed out as beings in Sanctuary.

Heroes of Despair (Formerly Jonathon) by Guasti

Style - 8/10
I like the first person view. It really helps to make you feel like you are in the story. I also liked how there were parts dedicated specifically to some of the character's past.

Originality - 7/10
So far, the story itself is not too original. There are some interesting combinations of different lore added together which is cool.

Overall Story - 6/10
I thought the story was good. With the intro and the ending, I wan to read more. However, I feel the story goes to quickly through events. I would like for the story to slow down and focus more on one situation.

Character Viability - 8/10
Oddly, I feel least connected with Jonathon. I really liked Chey and Heytons' back stories. I felt that these two characters were unique and had their own style.

Clarity of Writing - 5/10
I am under the assumption that English is not your first language and given this you did very well. However, that does not change the fact that the story is very hard to read. I constantly had to go back and re-read sections to try to understand what was going on. I also feel the quick pace of the story is also contributing to the lack of clarity.

Overall Score: 34/50
I think the idea of the story is great. I think a lot of time could be spent refining both the events of the story and the writing itself. I do look forward to more of the story.

Choose Your Own Adventure by EVERYONE! (Synopses)

Choose your own adventure is just that, you get to choose your own adventure. The story has been running Sept. 05, 2009 and is still going strong. Every update to the story ends with a decision, that you the reader, get to make. This decision will completely change what happens next time the story is updated.

The story began with our main character William, a young boy, bravely opening the door and saving his Mother's life. His town was in ruins and a Barbarian (Kaelan) saved William and his mother. William soon returned the favor and saved the life of an Assassin named Sara. The four traveled to Kaelan's home of Mt.Arreat. Here, they left William's Mother and continued their journey to find the source of Evil. They have run in to some other people only to have them unfortunately killed. Upon reaching Caldeum, they met up with a Sorcerer who goes by the name of Gaheed. Joining the group, they made their way to the Kurast docks. Here, they got a mission from the famous Assassin Natalya, to retrieve a ring. While fighting a giant spider, the readers decided to have William put on the ring they found. The ring magically turned William into an adult instantly. Not knowing what happened, the group decided to travel to Ureh to find Natalya and get answers. Along the way, through the jungles, they have met up with a crazy Witch Doctor named Kifu. They continued their journey until they saw a mysterious glowing ball. After tracking it down the ball has begun emitting a strange fog out of it.

This is where the story has lead up to. If this sounds interesting and you would like to be a part of this heroic tale, stop in and vote for the next series of events.

The Visitor, part 1 by Nektu

Style - 8/10
I really liked that the story starts off in the middle of the action. You feel just as lost as the main character (Wesley Green). From the beginning, you feel like something is going on but you are unsure exactly what that is. While I liked the disorienting feeling, I did find myself scratching my head trying to get a handle of the situation.

Originality - 8/10
Wesley is thrown into a familiar situation of murder, lies, and confusion but it is handled in a unique way. The events are given to you like puzzle pieces rather than a straight story.

Overall Story - 8/10
Long story short, I want to read more. Part 1 has created a great intro for more story. Blood and throw up paint a gritty scene for this story and what is to come. I won't ruin the ending but it looks promising.

Character Viability - 7/10
I felt Wesley's character was very good and focused. For someone in such an awkward situation, I felt he handled it very realistically. However, I feel that the other characters were a but cliche and too one-dimensional. Granted, they were needed for the situation, I think they could have had a little more to them.

Clarity of Writing - 9/10
Nektu paints a vivid picture. Considering the situation is supposed to be confusing. There was one point where I got lost but after I reread the last paragraph, I quickly understood the situation.

Overall Score: 40/50

Personally, this story is not really my taste. I don't really like the over use of vulgarity and vomit. However, if this is your style, you will love this story and won't be able to wait for the next installment.