(“Shouldn’t you be off killing demons,” Kifu heard from his right. He surveyed the area and saw Kiraf shouting at him as bashed a member of the Seven Stones in the face with his wooden shield. The man fell to his feet and Kiraf made quick work of digging his poison-laced dagger deep into the man’s chest.) *** I think your missing "he" in between 'as' and 'bashed' ***
("His people needed him now and that was where is focus was needed".)
*** I think 'is' was suppose to be 'his' ***
A 'crevasse' is usually associated with ice but since this is fantasy I'll let that one slide
Other than that this is a great story.
At first I thought "Too long; not gonna read it". But then I thought "F*@# it". And I'm glad I changed my mind
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Thanks for sharing it.
(“Shouldn’t you be off killing demons,” Kifu heard from his right. He surveyed the area and saw Kiraf shouting at him as bashed a member of the Seven Stones in the face with his wooden shield. The man fell to his feet and Kiraf made quick work of digging his poison-laced dagger deep into the man’s chest.) *** I think your missing "he" in between 'as' and 'bashed' ***
("His people needed him now and that was where is focus was needed".)
*** I think 'is' was suppose to be 'his' ***
A 'crevasse' is usually associated with ice but since this is fantasy I'll let that one slide
Other than that this is a great story.
At first I thought "Too long; not gonna read it". But then I thought "F*@# it". And I'm glad I changed my mind