Okay so heres the low down on my current conquest....
Theres this chick that I started liking around last.....may or so, earlier this year around homecoming I SORTA asked her out and she basically said she wasn't into me....She is also best friends with my best chick friend, so i have inside sources.
So anyway, we have been hanging out more and more in group settings like going to dinner, movies etc with friends...So somehow recently the topic of me and her came up again and I basically found out that she is considering me...But not nearly enough to were its even close to a sure thing.
But she feels(as do i) that it is my job to convince her into completely liking me....Now the question is..what is it i have to do to make her like me??She is basically a very smart(actually..second in our class), fun, but strong girl with her own opinions. She is very mature....umm..
Idono if anyone had any ideas on how i could go about changing how i look to her in her mind. Like, what would i need to do to make her think of me differently?
Any advice would help
Basically I'm looking for general stuff,thats why the description is so general.
Obviously for more specific advice I'm going to go to my close friend that knows her very well. But i figure, why stop there. I will use all of my resources to try and pull this one out, thats where you guys come in, your also resources lol.
I'm determined to make this happen cuz i really like this girl, shes got a great personality and is incredibly gorgeous...best looking in school imo.
The problem for the most part is that I've known her pretty well for all of highschool as a friend....
So I am essentially trying to get completely out of the friend zone, I've done that a little, not I need a little more help.
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"I want to say something but I'll keep it to myself I guess and leave this useless post behind to make you aware that there WAS something... "
-Equinox
"We're like the downtown of the Diablo related internet lol"
-Winged
In my experience: you should not have to convince her of anything. Once you convince her to be with you youe spend the rest of the relationship trying to convince her to stick around. Granted no one should be taken at face value so maybe the key is to stop chasing and become the chased
But she feels that it is my job to convince her into completely liking me
Quote from "Umpa65" »
She is basically a very smart(actually..second in our class), fun, but strong girl with her own opinions. She is very mature....umm..
Contradiction of terms.
A mature person will not play around with a guy triyng to make him chase her or some other BS like that. A truly mature person will make a relationship simple and straightforward, without games and chasing, which are the problem of low-intellect people who follow biological, rather than cognitive standards.
And second in class (unless it's a very poor area full of stupid people) is a bad sign, pointing to booksmartness, rather than real intelligence and/or wisdom and/or maturity. Unless she kinda does it on accident, but that's usually the genius area and few actually end up there.
Quote from "Umpa65" »
Idono if anyone had any ideas on how i could go about changing how i look to her in her mind. Like, what would i need to do to make her think of me differently?
All you need to know is to get to know each other and communicate. It will begin there, or not begin at all. But if you can't even start that, I suggest you drop it.
If you're friends but she doesn't like you, perhaps she needs to reframe and try to view you as someone who she would like. Most (99%) people cannot do this, which is why relationships do not really form out of friendships too often. People are just way too stupid and set in their stagnant ideas.
In my experience: you should not have to convince her of anything. Once you convince her to be with you youe spend the rest of the relationship trying to convince her to stick around. Granted no one should be taken at face value so maybe the key is to stop chasing and become the chased
Usually I would agree 100% but she seems a little different. She is a difficult person lol...It's kinda like...she doesn't know my romantic personality at all and she has other impressions of me. I need to give her the impression of me that is used when with girls that im after and stuff...
But yes, in most scenarios I would say if they don't like me for me then forget it but...She doesn't know the me that I think she would like.
Like..I'm not trying to convince her with false impressions of me, but the real me, the sweet romantic one XD And as i reveal that side of me i wouldn't mind help on throwing in a little extra..
And some girls like to be chased and I like this one enough that i dont care and am willing to do it lol....But also I'm not going out of my way in the sense that im dedicating my happiness to her because as of now my main focus is on my highschool sport. But if i could pull this off at the same time i would be happy, but if not then it's not that big of a deal. But I want to give it a solid try first lol.
And to Equinox....Shes not playing with me and making her chase me or leading me on at all actually, we had a talk today about how other people cant change her idea of me besides me. Not even she can really do TOO much to change the way she looks at me. For the most part this is my job.
She is mature, but sometimes not lol....But its not like shes leading me on or MAKING me chase her or anything, we are actually on the same page as i said we had a little talk
But ya, the chance of it happening out of a friendship is unlikely, thats why im trying hard lol
In other words, she is leaving her eyes open to me.
Appreciate the input Equinox girls perspectives are very welcome
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"I want to say something but I'll keep it to myself I guess and leave this useless post behind to make you aware that there WAS something... "
-Equinox
"We're like the downtown of the Diablo related internet lol"
-Winged
In my experience: you should not have to convince her of anything. Once you convince her to be with you youe spend the rest of the relationship trying to convince her to stick around. Granted no one should be taken at face value so maybe the key is to stop chasing and become the chased
20 points for ya good sir!
Take my opinion, just be your self, if she doesnt find you interesting, then forget about it. Not worth spending the entire relationship somebody you are not. If she does find you somewhat interesting, show what else you have to offer (THAT IS TRUELY YOURSELF). And again, you have to figure out what type of girl she is. Most of them play that stupid game where they tell everyone she is not interested when she really is and she is basically waiting for you to man up and take her like the @#$%# she is....OR......you find out she might be that rare and awesomous breed where she takes charge and wants you because she does. awwwwwwyeaaaaaa. Anyways, show interest in her and not just her boobs and once you guys get to know each other a bit more, it will be easier for both of you to decide.
xoxoxo
Thassy Pants, Master of his Pants mwhahahaha
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Those before me shall quiver in my wake as I unleash the fury within!
In my honest opinion, if she didn't like you a year ago and is only CONSIDERING you now, it just sounds to me like her well is running dry and she's just thinking about it because she has no one else she prefers right at this moment.
Now I know that sounds harsh but you can't please everyone all the time, especially women.
But as Equinox kinda said, if she views you as a friend and cannot redevelop her personal image of you then it may never go anywhere.
Also don't feel like it's your JOB to make her like you. If you have to work THAT hard to please her and get her to even go on ONE date, it's not worth it and it certainly won't last.
Just remember you can ACT romantic for so long, but you can't keep it up forever. She has to take you at base value, what you're like on your average day, or it will crumble in the long run.
But if you think she would like your "sweet romantic side" then show it her yeah? I wouldn't just wait around for her to say "oh I would love to see what a romantic guy can do for me" because then you throw flowers and candies and kisses blah blah her way. It is basically just handing over all the power, letting go of all your self restraint. But I mean you are going to do it regardless probably because we seem to have this strange mentality toward attractive women built in
I am not sure if this is making any sense to you, to me it does but...
To Umpa
My issue with such girls (and guys as well, but I am a girl, so girls matter to me more) is because they basically make life hard for the guys who like them, and I'm just... totally against that... and the whole idea that it's someone's JOB to attract someone makes me disgusted. Relationships are hard enough already without adding in all that junk.
I know I had times when a person I didn't care about for about 2 years suddenly became attractive, or when a person I had severe arguments with suddenly became my friend and we had very good relations since then. That's what happens when people get out of their holes and reframe... that's what she needs to do. Deep inside, I believe nearly everyone of at least someone converging personalities can like each other. It's just a matter of whether it's 2 of you on an island or 6 billion...
Thasador you made me laugh on that last one lol. But ya, im definitely going to be myself, thats for certain.
Daemaro, it's not as if she has had all this time to like me over long periods of time because I'm usually in a relationship lol. We were just friends that whole time and nothing ever possessed her to look at me as something more than a friend until now. Ya know?
We were just friends but she has known that i liked her for a while now. Months ago she was getting over some guy so it was pointless then but now thats over sooooo...ya!
And ya, i wont work too hard, my attempt is pretty much starting today, we will see how it goes.
Pilot...The question is...how exactly do i show that side? I think that flowers and stuff would be for a more advanced relationship. I need to show that side subtly if that makes any sense. Ya know? We are not to the point were i could just send flowers lol....
To Equinox. I agree, a guy should not have to work that hard, but in this case im willing to throw that to the side and at least give it a try. I mean, if it doesn't work its no sweat off of my back. And as you said, she needs to reframe..That is why I want to try and make her do that lol, if she cant reframe, maybe i can help
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"I want to say something but I'll keep it to myself I guess and leave this useless post behind to make you aware that there WAS something... "
-Equinox
"We're like the downtown of the Diablo related internet lol"
-Winged
High school met a girl.......date girl for five months, fall head over, girl moves five hours away, girl breaks up, not a big deal and state this, girl drives and begs to be taken back, gal moves back.
Now things get interesting. I moved in with the gf and things were going well. Now of course she was always wanting me to convince her that she made the right choice by coming back. Obviously at first I did but as time went by and she wanted more and more I gave up. This drove her up the wall. So after awhile of this she leaves again, of course I get stuck with all the bills... She gets a new guy and calls me up blah blah. Yet again I try to convince her, yet I again i give up. She pretty much kept me at home all the time when we were together, because god forbid a guy go hang with buddies or even go to the store by himself lol. SO this guy gets himself a new gal. Ex finds out, and she never returned the apartment keys so you can guess what happens here. She walks in the house when she knows she is there and the have a huge battle...I just walked in the other room and played battlefront (hey I don't need that drama ). Get back with ex, move away for college Ex gets all sorts of new friends who love the party and the single life. Wants me to convince her I am like these people. GF breaks again, doesnt return phone calls or texts about bills - nothing. Gets a couple new boyfriends, makes sure I know about them and how I can't compare. I move to WA and she freaks out. Now she wants me to convince her that "I can change", it's been five months since the break up. Don't get me wrong, love her, but f*** that crap.
Now does this sound like something you want to get involved in?..........
As for your question, it is just about V-Day so swing that to your advantage
To Equinox. I agree, a guy should not have to work that hard, but in this case im willing to throw that to the side and at least give it a try. I mean, if it doesn't work its no sweat off of my back. And as you said, she needs to reframe..That is why I want to try and make her do that lol, if she cant reframe, maybe i can help
I understand. I'm sort of in a similar situation right now. Except it's 100x worse because the guy loathes me.
I understand. I'm sort of in a similar situation right now. Except it's 100x worse because the guy loathes me.
I feel ya lol, that sucks terribly. But you want to make him not loath you don't you? Same thing conceptually lol..
To Pilot....holy shit dude....lol....no i don't want that but hopefully that wont happen.. I'll throw in a story real quick. Dated a girl off and on for 3 years, it was filled with breakups and her having other boyfriends and so on. Similar to your case... Then we got back together for almost a year and all we did was argue, i kinda changed my view and was..in your own words "f*** that crap" and broke up with her lol....I know when to get out usually...But anyway, Vday is the plan! lol
Siaynoq....I had no idea Equinox was crazy about you! lol
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"I want to say something but I'll keep it to myself I guess and leave this useless post behind to make you aware that there WAS something... "
-Equinox
"We're like the downtown of the Diablo related internet lol"
-Winged
I feel ya lol, that sucks terribly. But you want to make him not loath you don't you? Same thing conceptually lol..
Yeah, pretty much. Main reason I'm a bit confused is because he treats virtually everyone else fine... just hates me. He's probably too immature to change, but, meh, he's the only person in my real life surroundings I find even remotely interesting.
Quote from "Umpa65" »
Siaynoq....I had no idea Equinox was crazy about you! lol
I was considering it. But he has a gf so he's off-limits.
Yeah, pretty much. Main reason I'm a bit confused is because he treats virtually everyone else fine... just hates me. He's probably too immature to change, but, meh, he's the only person in my real life surroundings I find even remotely interesting.
I was considering it. But he has a gf so he's off-limits.
Ya, there is no other person i would even consider before college. If its not this girl then it will be no girl.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"I want to say something but I'll keep it to myself I guess and leave this useless post behind to make you aware that there WAS something... "
-Equinox
"We're like the downtown of the Diablo related internet lol"
-Winged
A gf doesnt make someone off limits. It just makes it more difficult
I believe it's dishonorable to target a person who has someone. I'm very idealistic about this, though. I don't believe in multidating, and I usually view a relationship as a strong team of two (I was also thinking of 3's and 4's, too, but that may be a bit insane) people that will conquer everything before them together. Anyone who tries to break that bond is no less than an enemy.
Theres this chick that I started liking around last.....may or so, earlier this year around homecoming I SORTA asked her out and she basically said she wasn't into me....She is also best friends with my best chick friend, so i have inside sources.
So anyway, we have been hanging out more and more in group settings like going to dinner, movies etc with friends...So somehow recently the topic of me and her came up again and I basically found out that she is considering me...But not nearly enough to were its even close to a sure thing.
But she feels(as do i) that it is my job to convince her into completely liking me....Now the question is..what is it i have to do to make her like me??She is basically a very smart(actually..second in our class), fun, but strong girl with her own opinions. She is very mature....umm..
Idono if anyone had any ideas on how i could go about changing how i look to her in her mind. Like, what would i need to do to make her think of me differently?
Any advice would help
Basically I'm looking for general stuff,thats why the description is so general.
Obviously for more specific advice I'm going to go to my close friend that knows her very well. But i figure, why stop there. I will use all of my resources to try and pull this one out, thats where you guys come in, your also resources lol.
I'm determined to make this happen cuz i really like this girl, shes got a great personality and is incredibly gorgeous...best looking in school imo.
The problem for the most part is that I've known her pretty well for all of highschool as a friend....
So I am essentially trying to get completely out of the friend zone, I've done that a little, not I need a little more help.
-Equinox
"We're like the downtown of the Diablo related internet lol"
-Winged
Contradiction of terms.
A mature person will not play around with a guy triyng to make him chase her or some other BS like that. A truly mature person will make a relationship simple and straightforward, without games and chasing, which are the problem of low-intellect people who follow biological, rather than cognitive standards.
And second in class (unless it's a very poor area full of stupid people) is a bad sign, pointing to booksmartness, rather than real intelligence and/or wisdom and/or maturity. Unless she kinda does it on accident, but that's usually the genius area and few actually end up there.
All you need to know is to get to know each other and communicate. It will begin there, or not begin at all. But if you can't even start that, I suggest you drop it.
If you're friends but she doesn't like you, perhaps she needs to reframe and try to view you as someone who she would like. Most (99%) people cannot do this, which is why relationships do not really form out of friendships too often. People are just way too stupid and set in their stagnant ideas.
She doesn't sound mature to me at all.
//All above is my opinion.
Usually I would agree 100% but she seems a little different. She is a difficult person lol...It's kinda like...she doesn't know my romantic personality at all and she has other impressions of me. I need to give her the impression of me that is used when with girls that im after and stuff...
But yes, in most scenarios I would say if they don't like me for me then forget it but...She doesn't know the me that I think she would like.
Like..I'm not trying to convince her with false impressions of me, but the real me, the sweet romantic one XD And as i reveal that side of me i wouldn't mind help on throwing in a little extra..
And some girls like to be chased and I like this one enough that i dont care and am willing to do it lol....But also I'm not going out of my way in the sense that im dedicating my happiness to her because as of now my main focus is on my highschool sport. But if i could pull this off at the same time i would be happy, but if not then it's not that big of a deal. But I want to give it a solid try first lol.
And to Equinox....Shes not playing with me and making her chase me or leading me on at all actually, we had a talk today about how other people cant change her idea of me besides me. Not even she can really do TOO much to change the way she looks at me. For the most part this is my job.
She is mature, but sometimes not lol....But its not like shes leading me on or MAKING me chase her or anything, we are actually on the same page as i said we had a little talk
But ya, the chance of it happening out of a friendship is unlikely, thats why im trying hard lol
In other words, she is leaving her eyes open to me.
Appreciate the input Equinox girls perspectives are very welcome
-Equinox
"We're like the downtown of the Diablo related internet lol"
-Winged
Take my opinion, just be your self, if she doesnt find you interesting, then forget about it. Not worth spending the entire relationship somebody you are not. If she does find you somewhat interesting, show what else you have to offer (THAT IS TRUELY YOURSELF). And again, you have to figure out what type of girl she is. Most of them play that stupid game where they tell everyone she is not interested when she really is and she is basically waiting for you to man up and take her like the @#$%# she is....OR......you find out she might be that rare and awesomous breed where she takes charge and wants you because she does. awwwwwwyeaaaaaa. Anyways, show interest in her and not just her boobs and once you guys get to know each other a bit more, it will be easier for both of you to decide.
xoxoxo
Thassy Pants, Master of his Pants mwhahahaha
Now I know that sounds harsh but you can't please everyone all the time, especially women.
But as Equinox kinda said, if she views you as a friend and cannot redevelop her personal image of you then it may never go anywhere.
Also don't feel like it's your JOB to make her like you. If you have to work THAT hard to please her and get her to even go on ONE date, it's not worth it and it certainly won't last.
Just remember you can ACT romantic for so long, but you can't keep it up forever. She has to take you at base value, what you're like on your average day, or it will crumble in the long run.
Best of luck,
Daemaro
But if you think she would like your "sweet romantic side" then show it her yeah? I wouldn't just wait around for her to say "oh I would love to see what a romantic guy can do for me" because then you throw flowers and candies and kisses blah blah her way. It is basically just handing over all the power, letting go of all your self restraint. But I mean you are going to do it regardless probably because we seem to have this strange mentality toward attractive women built in
I am not sure if this is making any sense to you, to me it does but...
My issue with such girls (and guys as well, but I am a girl, so girls matter to me more) is because they basically make life hard for the guys who like them, and I'm just... totally against that... and the whole idea that it's someone's JOB to attract someone makes me disgusted. Relationships are hard enough already without adding in all that junk.
I know I had times when a person I didn't care about for about 2 years suddenly became attractive, or when a person I had severe arguments with suddenly became my friend and we had very good relations since then. That's what happens when people get out of their holes and reframe... that's what she needs to do. Deep inside, I believe nearly everyone of at least someone converging personalities can like each other. It's just a matter of whether it's 2 of you on an island or 6 billion...
Thasador you made me laugh on that last one lol. But ya, im definitely going to be myself, thats for certain.
Daemaro, it's not as if she has had all this time to like me over long periods of time because I'm usually in a relationship lol. We were just friends that whole time and nothing ever possessed her to look at me as something more than a friend until now. Ya know?
We were just friends but she has known that i liked her for a while now. Months ago she was getting over some guy so it was pointless then but now thats over sooooo...ya!
And ya, i wont work too hard, my attempt is pretty much starting today, we will see how it goes.
Pilot...The question is...how exactly do i show that side? I think that flowers and stuff would be for a more advanced relationship. I need to show that side subtly if that makes any sense. Ya know? We are not to the point were i could just send flowers lol....
To Equinox. I agree, a guy should not have to work that hard, but in this case im willing to throw that to the side and at least give it a try. I mean, if it doesn't work its no sweat off of my back. And as you said, she needs to reframe..That is why I want to try and make her do that lol, if she cant reframe, maybe i can help
-Equinox
"We're like the downtown of the Diablo related internet lol"
-Winged
High school met a girl.......date girl for five months, fall head over, girl moves five hours away, girl breaks up, not a big deal and state this, girl drives and begs to be taken back, gal moves back.
Now things get interesting. I moved in with the gf and things were going well. Now of course she was always wanting me to convince her that she made the right choice by coming back. Obviously at first I did but as time went by and she wanted more and more I gave up. This drove her up the wall. So after awhile of this she leaves again, of course I get stuck with all the bills... She gets a new guy and calls me up blah blah. Yet again I try to convince her, yet I again i give up. She pretty much kept me at home all the time when we were together, because god forbid a guy go hang with buddies or even go to the store by himself lol. SO this guy gets himself a new gal. Ex finds out, and she never returned the apartment keys so you can guess what happens here. She walks in the house when she knows she is there and the have a huge battle...I just walked in the other room and played battlefront (hey I don't need that drama ). Get back with ex, move away for college Ex gets all sorts of new friends who love the party and the single life. Wants me to convince her I am like these people. GF breaks again, doesnt return phone calls or texts about bills - nothing. Gets a couple new boyfriends, makes sure I know about them and how I can't compare. I move to WA and she freaks out. Now she wants me to convince her that "I can change", it's been five months since the break up. Don't get me wrong, love her, but f*** that crap.
Now does this sound like something you want to get involved in?..........
As for your question, it is just about V-Day so swing that to your advantage
Siaynoq's Playthroughs
I feel ya lol, that sucks terribly. But you want to make him not loath you don't you? Same thing conceptually lol..
To Pilot....holy shit dude....lol....no i don't want that but hopefully that wont happen.. I'll throw in a story real quick. Dated a girl off and on for 3 years, it was filled with breakups and her having other boyfriends and so on. Similar to your case... Then we got back together for almost a year and all we did was argue, i kinda changed my view and was..in your own words "f*** that crap" and broke up with her lol....I know when to get out usually...But anyway, Vday is the plan! lol
Siaynoq....I had no idea Equinox was crazy about you! lol
-Equinox
"We're like the downtown of the Diablo related internet lol"
-Winged
I was considering it. But he has a gf so he's off-limits.
Ya, there is no other person i would even consider before college. If its not this girl then it will be no girl.
-Equinox
"We're like the downtown of the Diablo related internet lol"
-Winged