A lot of people (men specifically) don't really learn the social and emotional skills they need to attract and court women. There is no teaching of this in schools, and if people fall into the "nerd" or "loser" clique, then they may be unsuccessful with women their whole lives. Many men just fail to understand social dynamics and those who do not have healthy relationships (not that mine was that healthy) have sad, depressing lives.
Imho parents should teach their boys at an early age how to be social and talk to girls, because it's kinda sad for me to see some men with no chance whatsoever. That being said, all the more for me
I recommend that you should research and understand social dynamics. Good resources would be to DL "Mind of Mystery" torrent or get the book "The Game."
Cheers.
I assume you're aiming this at me, but if you aren't, then too bad, I'm gonna answer you with my own personal experience anyway.
I actually have no problem talking to women specifically. I am pretty shy to people in general, but somehow I am still told that I get along with others fairly easily. Like, its not that I don't have a chance at all, its just that I don't want a chance, lol. Its too much responsibility.
Though I do know some people who just suck at social dynamics. It is sad, because yeah, as you said, its not really taught so its just something that we are expected to pick up. Its not that hard to teach, and its not like its not as important as the other subjects, so why don't they teach it? Cause they certainly should. There are some social things that I wish someone would just tell me how they work exactly, rather than having to figure it out myself lol. Like what is with this 'kiss on the cheek' thing? When is it appropriate? And for who? lol.
I am sticking to the idea that kids better not have any social life until the age of 18 or so. It leads nowhere.
Your generalizing. Humans are social creatures. There are studies showing the success of a social life. I have a fine example to prove. My mother dropped out of high school, when she was in high school she would usually skip and go drink at the beach or something and party. Eventually she made it to college and it actually didn't get her where she is today. She went to be a teacher and eventually realized that teaching wasn't for her. So she became a sales person. After only a year she became regarded as a legend of sales. Eventually she found herself out of work because of 9/11. the towers falling destroyed the phone company and many other companies (something i dont exactly mind because they offered her a managing position for an entire branch after a year). Eventually she found new work in selling revolutionary dental x-ray equipment and is now regarding the same in this region of sales. She didnt go to school for sales. So how is she so good at it? she was driven and had a goood base in communication with people. which is something i am certain is unattainable unless set into an environment of ANY kind that promotes social behavior.
Equinox, you generalized, in many cases you may be right, but not in all cases. Sometimes social lives to go somewhere at an age under 18. I can honestly say i believe her highschool social life helped form the what she is now and that without that social life i wouldn't be typing on this nice comp paid for courtesy of my moms
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"I want to say something but I'll keep it to myself I guess and leave this useless post behind to make you aware that there WAS something... "
-Equinox
"We're like the downtown of the Diablo related internet lol"
-Winged
I assume you're aiming this at me, but if you aren't, then too bad, I'm gonna answer you with my own personal experience anyway.
I actually have no problem talking to women specifically. I am pretty shy to people in general, but somehow I am still told that I get along with others fairly easily. Like, its not that I don't have a chance at all, its just that I don't want a chance, lol. Its too much responsibility.
Though I do know some people who just suck at social dynamics. It is sad, because yeah, as you said, its not really taught so its just something that we are expected to pick up. Its not that hard to teach, and its not like its not as important as the other subjects, so why don't they teach it? Cause they certainly should. There are some social things that I wish someone would just tell me how they work exactly, rather than having to figure it out myself lol. Like what is with this 'kiss on the cheek' thing? When is it appropriate? And for who? lol.
I was not necessarily aiming this at you, but generalizing the situation for a large population of men. I totally agree, there is no reason social skills and relationship skills are not taught to us, not all of us learn it naturally.
You could ask me some social things if you want, however I'm not a total expert so I wouldn't be certain about a lot of things.
A kiss on a cheek is a physical compliance test. Really, anything physical up until sex is a physical compliance test. The basic rules in the beginning are that you do not show interest in the girl until SHE shows interest in you. You have to bring her social value down and yours up by showing disinterest and giving her high value indicators(1), so that she is chasing after you.
In my opinion, the kiss on the cheek thing would be better if you instead (once reached a higher social value) let her kiss you. Escalate physical touching (like arm around her or holding hands) until you are both somewhat comfortable then, when sitting sitting sideways to her and joking around, tap your cheek and look away from her, smiling.
(1) high value indicators: An action or something you say that qualifies one of the following:
You are preselected by women and have them in your life.
You are an alpha male, leader of men.
You protect loved ones.
You are emotionally normal.
You are willing to walk away, you are not there to GET something from her. You are there just to talk to someone (YOU are the center of the universe, not her).
Hope that helps a bit maybe.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
---- And the evil that was once vanquished shall rise anew! ----
lol, clearly, all that stuff is soo complicated. Its another reason why i don't like the thought of relationships.
I prefer the types of relationships that just come naturally, without having to manipulate the situation. And obviously thats a lot harder for some people than others, because some people don't have those high value indicators naturally. Its such a hard life lol.
lol, clearly, all that stuff is soo complicated. Its another reason why i don't like the thought of relationships.
I prefer the types of relationships that just come naturally, without having to manipulate the situation. And obviously thats a lot harder for some people than others, because some people don't have those high value indicators naturally. Its such a hard life lol.
Lol, well ok. I guess that stuff seems complicated, but a lot of it should just come natural. Just act like you're a superstar, she has to win you. You don't need to HAVE those high value indicators, you just have to make her think you do or just sell it better. Simply include pieces in your stories you tell her that convey these things "was with a couple girls..." "was taking my little sister with me..." etc...
When you are initially talking to her, smile and be nice, but don't be so interested. She's just another girl and doesn't deserve all of your attention yet, she needs to earn it.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
---- And the evil that was once vanquished shall rise anew! ----
For me:
Cute butt
Cute face
Nice legs
Rock Hard Wang
Gentle Beard
Fat
Hairy chest
Big feet
Coarse Hands
Nice teeth
Jagged adams apple
and Clipped toe nails
To Atrumentis
Well, if you ask me, you should do the exact opposite of what Obalobex told you...
Quote from "Obalobex" »
Just act like you're a superstar, she has to win you.
I'd turn away from that as "jerkish attitude". I don't like guys who think they are the top of the world. Confident, sure, but not a superstar. The guy has to win a girl, because a guy is stronger, smarter, on the general scale. But the girl shouldn't be too proud, either. E.g. they should just get together and talk. No stupid hard to get games, no games at all. Just be sincere and honest. If one of you is a liar or a jerk, it would be visible.
Quote from "Obalobex" »
When you are initially talking to her, smile and be nice, but don't be so interested. She's just another girl and doesn't deserve all of your attention yet, she needs to earn it.
Oohh, right, and the girl is going to be like "he doesn't like me" and never talk to him again. That's how it would be for me. If a guy is cold toward me and doesn't express anything, I assume he's either not interested or has a girlfriend already. I don't understand how this advice would help get a certain block of girls. It would probably help with "naggy" girls who get a target and aim at it, but I prefer to be polite. If the guy has no interest in me, I am not going to bug him.
All the best girls are kinda shy and they want attention from guys. Not the other way around. Guys are the requesters. They should pay attention. If the girl starts using that attention, wrong girl. In rare cases, girls are requesters, then it's the other way around. In fact, I think the idea of girl requesters is getting kinda popular, lol...
Why would you want a girl that chases you? That girl is probably a bit dumb...
Good girls are rare, and good guys are rare, and both are to be valued and respected.
Obalobex, your advice is for getting whores. But, I guess, what did I want from a fucktard.
well out of my experience 90%+ of the girls i have been interested in all turn away when u basically bow down to them... the only way for a guy to really get a girl is to pretend to pretend to not be interested and wait for the girl to show a sign she is interested in him. Then the guy can move in a bit. Then the girl moves a bit more. etc
We gotta make a change...
It's time for us as a people to start makin' some changes.
Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live
and let's change the way we treat each other.
You see the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do
what we gotta do, to survive. Tupac Shakur
100% Legit baal runners SICK_Bambi 93 Barb (46th barb)
SICK_Paladin 95 Necromancer (12th necro)
SICK_ferret 95 Assassin (10th sin) ~~us West Ladder~~
well out of my experience 90%+ of the girls i have been interested in all turn away when u basically bow down to them...
I can conclude two things:
- you get interested in the wrong girls and miss all the good ones;
- you are not really the appropriate guy, and, from what I know of you, I wouldn't go out with you...
But, then again, if good people were so easy to find, I'd have a boyfriend by now. But I don't, because all guys I meet are either jerks or taken.
And you have to define: what do you want, a girl that is proud of herself, or a girl that would truly appreciate you, or you just want a girl to fuck with?
Quote from "Num3n" »
the only way for a guy to really get a girl is to pretend to pretend to not be interested and wait for the girl to show a sign she is interested in him.
Certainly not true, because the opposite is true for me. Again, you are just bumping into the wrong girls. And/or you are interested in the type of girls I strongly disrespect, which means you need to use ways I strongly disrespect, e.g., what Obalobex said.
To Atrumentis
Well, if you ask me, you should do the exact opposite of what Obalobex told you...
I'd turn away from that as "jerkish attitude". I don't like guys who think they are the top of the world. Confident, sure, but not a superstar. The guy has to win a girl, because a guy is stronger, smarter, on the general scale. But the girl shouldn't be too proud, either. E.g. they should just get together and talk. No stupid hard to get games, no games at all. Just be sincere and honest. If one of you is a liar or a jerk, it would be visible.
Oohh, right, and the girl is going to be like "he doesn't like me" and never talk to him again. That's how it would be for me. If a guy is cold toward me and doesn't express anything, I assume he's either not interested or has a girlfriend already. I don't understand how this advice would help get a certain block of girls. It would probably help with "naggy" girls who get a target and aim at it, but I prefer to be polite. If the guy has no interest in me, I am not going to bug him.
All the best girls are kinda shy and they want attention from guys. Not the other way around. Guys are the requesters. They should pay attention. If the girl starts using that attention, wrong girl. In rare cases, girls are requesters, then it's the other way around. In fact, I think the idea of girl requesters is getting kinda popular, lol...
Why would you want a girl that chases you? That girl is probably a bit dumb...
Good girls are rare, and good guys are rare, and both are to be valued and respected.
Obalobex, your advice is for getting whores. But, I guess, what did I want from a fucktard.
Wow, someone is hostile. I'm not saying to be cocky or anything like that. Equinox, you are a girl? I assume you are from your phrasing. I refute your declaration of me being a fucktard or trying to pick up whores. I am a nice guy, but there are some things that are psychologically programed into your brains that are simply evolutionary. You evolutionarily want a man who is of high value to you, a man who is sensitive and yet strong, a with the attributes to grant you the highest chance of survival and the survival of your offspring. I don't pick up whores or sluts, in fact my standards are high and I do not have random hook-ups really, and I generally like girls for the company.
When I said "like a superstar" I meant have the confidence and the self perceived high value that you would think Brad Pitt would have. And I didn't say I want girls to "chase" you, but they have to be interested in you and eager to learn more about you.
Put yourself in the position of being in a bar with a couple other girls Equi, now imagine a man approaching you. If he came directly towards you, staring at you, speaking hesitantly and only to you, saying "I'm James, I like you, can we talk? want to dance?" would you really be that interested in him? Especially if he was of a lower social value (not as attractive) as you, then the answer is no.
If instead you see him right next to your group talking with a couple girls (jealousy switch activated) smiling then leans over a shoulder and asks your entire group something like "hey, can I get an opinion from you guys?" Not even looking directly at you. He is totally non-interested in you, not trying to GET anything from you, just talking to you and your friends. He already has women in his life as seen and he is not TOTALLY in to you, just being social. He is not threatening at all, and you evolutionarily will be MORE attracted to him than the man who came directly to you.
This sort of social dynamics I don't really have to think about before going to a public gathering or anything, I have been social my whole life so these principles comes naturally to me. However there are many many men out there who simply have not had much experience talking to strangers and women or people who just fail to put them selves in the shoes of females.
Girls like attention yes, but they want it in a non-threatening way from a man who they perceive to be of high value. This is science, and programed into all females, despite what Equinox might say.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
---- And the evil that was once vanquished shall rise anew! ----
Here's what I think is the best, rather than making it seem like you don't care that much, you hold yourself high (this is so that any attention you get from the girl is not out of pity), but you also act like you care. You maintain eye contact when speaking with the girl, listen intently to what they say, inquire about anything you can etc. That way the relationship or friendship or whatever it is will actually have some depth as well.
Good girls are rare, and good guys are rare, and both are to be valued and respected.
Indeed. Nothing more to add to that, just really agree.
Quote from "Equinox" »
And you have to define: what do you want, a girl that is proud of herself, or a girl that would truly appreciate you, or you just want a girl to fuck with?
What about a girl that is proud but also appreciates you?
Quote from "winstonthe4th" »
Here's what I think is the best, rather than making it seem like you don't care that much, you hold yourself high (this is so that any attention you get from the girl is not out of pity), but you also act like you care. You maintain eye contact when speaking with the girl, listen intently to what they say, inquire about anything you can etc. That way the relationship or friendship or whatever it is will actually have some depth as well.
I dissagree with this, as well with all the other "How to get a Girlfriend" ways. I will give you one simple step to get into a relationship:
Step 1) Be yourself. If you act like something you are not then that person will eventually find out and most likely hate you. If you act like yourself then they will fall for you, not for something that you are not.
I dissagree with this, as well with all the other "How to get a Girlfriend" ways. I will give you one simple step to get into a relationship:
Step 1) Be yourself. If you act like something you are not then that person will eventually find out and most likely hate you. If you act like yourself then they will fall for you, not for something that you are not.
But that's just my oppinion...
Well I guess for me, the holding myself high part is just being myself I suppose. If you respect yourself and are yourself then you'll hold yourself high. I don't mean be a snob kind of hold yourself high, just appreciate yourself. I should probably have made that clear. And if you do care about the person then acting like you care about them should be being yourself. So I believe that mine and yours can go hand in hand, though I may be incorrect.
Well I guess for me, the holding myself high part is just being myself I suppose. If you respect yourself and are yourself then you'll hold yourself high. I don't mean be a snob kind of hold yourself high, just appreciate yourself. I should probably have made that clear. And if you do care about the person then acting like you care about them should be being yourself. So I believe that mine and yours can go hand in hand, though I may be incorrect.
Ahh. That makes sense. The thing is that your "being yourself" isn't someone else's. Some guys are assholes and some girls like to be treated like dirt. More power to them, just don't act kind if you're an asshole. She will find out and be pissed.
Ahh. That makes sense. The thing is that your "being yourself" isn't someone else's. Some guys are assholes and some girls like to be treated like dirt. More power to them, just don't act kind if you're an asshole. She will find out and be pissed.
Yea, I suppose it was a bit flawed, but it works for me. And really, that's all that matters.
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I assume you're aiming this at me, but if you aren't, then too bad, I'm gonna answer you with my own personal experience anyway.
I actually have no problem talking to women specifically. I am pretty shy to people in general, but somehow I am still told that I get along with others fairly easily. Like, its not that I don't have a chance at all, its just that I don't want a chance, lol. Its too much responsibility.
Though I do know some people who just suck at social dynamics. It is sad, because yeah, as you said, its not really taught so its just something that we are expected to pick up. Its not that hard to teach, and its not like its not as important as the other subjects, so why don't they teach it? Cause they certainly should. There are some social things that I wish someone would just tell me how they work exactly, rather than having to figure it out myself lol. Like what is with this 'kiss on the cheek' thing? When is it appropriate? And for who? lol.
Your generalizing. Humans are social creatures. There are studies showing the success of a social life. I have a fine example to prove. My mother dropped out of high school, when she was in high school she would usually skip and go drink at the beach or something and party. Eventually she made it to college and it actually didn't get her where she is today. She went to be a teacher and eventually realized that teaching wasn't for her. So she became a sales person. After only a year she became regarded as a legend of sales. Eventually she found herself out of work because of 9/11. the towers falling destroyed the phone company and many other companies (something i dont exactly mind because they offered her a managing position for an entire branch after a year). Eventually she found new work in selling revolutionary dental x-ray equipment and is now regarding the same in this region of sales. She didnt go to school for sales. So how is she so good at it? she was driven and had a goood base in communication with people. which is something i am certain is unattainable unless set into an environment of ANY kind that promotes social behavior.
Equinox, you generalized, in many cases you may be right, but not in all cases. Sometimes social lives to go somewhere at an age under 18. I can honestly say i believe her highschool social life helped form the what she is now and that without that social life i wouldn't be typing on this nice comp paid for courtesy of my moms
-Equinox
"We're like the downtown of the Diablo related internet lol"
-Winged
I was not necessarily aiming this at you, but generalizing the situation for a large population of men. I totally agree, there is no reason social skills and relationship skills are not taught to us, not all of us learn it naturally.
You could ask me some social things if you want, however I'm not a total expert so I wouldn't be certain about a lot of things.
A kiss on a cheek is a physical compliance test. Really, anything physical up until sex is a physical compliance test. The basic rules in the beginning are that you do not show interest in the girl until SHE shows interest in you. You have to bring her social value down and yours up by showing disinterest and giving her high value indicators(1), so that she is chasing after you.
In my opinion, the kiss on the cheek thing would be better if you instead (once reached a higher social value) let her kiss you. Escalate physical touching (like arm around her or holding hands) until you are both somewhat comfortable then, when sitting sitting sideways to her and joking around, tap your cheek and look away from her, smiling.
(1) high value indicators: An action or something you say that qualifies one of the following:
You are preselected by women and have them in your life.
You are an alpha male, leader of men.
You protect loved ones.
You are emotionally normal.
You are willing to walk away, you are not there to GET something from her. You are there just to talk to someone (YOU are the center of the universe, not her).
Hope that helps a bit maybe.
I prefer the types of relationships that just come naturally, without having to manipulate the situation. And obviously thats a lot harder for some people than others, because some people don't have those high value indicators naturally. Its such a hard life lol.
Lol, well ok. I guess that stuff seems complicated, but a lot of it should just come natural. Just act like you're a superstar, she has to win you. You don't need to HAVE those high value indicators, you just have to make her think you do or just sell it better. Simply include pieces in your stories you tell her that convey these things "was with a couple girls..." "was taking my little sister with me..." etc...
When you are initially talking to her, smile and be nice, but don't be so interested. She's just another girl and doesn't deserve all of your attention yet, she needs to earn it.
Cute butt
Cute face
Nice legs
Rock Hard Wang
Gentle Beard
Fat
Hairy chest
Big feet
Coarse Hands
Nice teeth
Jagged adams apple
and Clipped toe nails
"Cards and flowers on your window, your friends all plead for you to stay,
sometimes beginnings aren't so simple, sometimes goodbye's the only way."
Vote:
http://www.diablofans.com/forums/showthread.php?t=17929
Well, if you ask me, you should do the exact opposite of what Obalobex told you...
I'd turn away from that as "jerkish attitude". I don't like guys who think they are the top of the world. Confident, sure, but not a superstar. The guy has to win a girl, because a guy is stronger, smarter, on the general scale. But the girl shouldn't be too proud, either. E.g. they should just get together and talk. No stupid hard to get games, no games at all. Just be sincere and honest. If one of you is a liar or a jerk, it would be visible.
Oohh, right, and the girl is going to be like "he doesn't like me" and never talk to him again. That's how it would be for me. If a guy is cold toward me and doesn't express anything, I assume he's either not interested or has a girlfriend already. I don't understand how this advice would help get a certain block of girls. It would probably help with "naggy" girls who get a target and aim at it, but I prefer to be polite. If the guy has no interest in me, I am not going to bug him.
All the best girls are kinda shy and they want attention from guys. Not the other way around. Guys are the requesters. They should pay attention. If the girl starts using that attention, wrong girl. In rare cases, girls are requesters, then it's the other way around. In fact, I think the idea of girl requesters is getting kinda popular, lol...
Why would you want a girl that chases you? That girl is probably a bit dumb...
Good girls are rare, and good guys are rare, and both are to be valued and respected.
Obalobex, your advice is for getting whores. But, I guess, what did I want from a fucktard.
everything num3n said, cept i want big tits.
It's time for us as a people to start makin' some changes.
Let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live
and let's change the way we treat each other.
You see the old way wasn't working so it's on us to do
what we gotta do, to survive.
Tupac Shakur
100% Legit baal runners
SICK_Bambi 93 Barb (46th barb)
SICK_Paladin 95 Necromancer (12th necro)
SICK_ferret 95 Assassin (10th sin)
~~us West Ladder~~
- you get interested in the wrong girls and miss all the good ones;
- you are not really the appropriate guy, and, from what I know of you, I wouldn't go out with you...
But, then again, if good people were so easy to find, I'd have a boyfriend by now. But I don't, because all guys I meet are either jerks or taken.
And you have to define: what do you want, a girl that is proud of herself, or a girl that would truly appreciate you, or you just want a girl to fuck with?
Certainly not true, because the opposite is true for me. Again, you are just bumping into the wrong girls. And/or you are interested in the type of girls I strongly disrespect, which means you need to use ways I strongly disrespect, e.g., what Obalobex said.
Wow, someone is hostile. I'm not saying to be cocky or anything like that. Equinox, you are a girl? I assume you are from your phrasing. I refute your declaration of me being a fucktard or trying to pick up whores. I am a nice guy, but there are some things that are psychologically programed into your brains that are simply evolutionary. You evolutionarily want a man who is of high value to you, a man who is sensitive and yet strong, a with the attributes to grant you the highest chance of survival and the survival of your offspring. I don't pick up whores or sluts, in fact my standards are high and I do not have random hook-ups really, and I generally like girls for the company.
When I said "like a superstar" I meant have the confidence and the self perceived high value that you would think Brad Pitt would have. And I didn't say I want girls to "chase" you, but they have to be interested in you and eager to learn more about you.
Put yourself in the position of being in a bar with a couple other girls Equi, now imagine a man approaching you. If he came directly towards you, staring at you, speaking hesitantly and only to you, saying "I'm James, I like you, can we talk? want to dance?" would you really be that interested in him? Especially if he was of a lower social value (not as attractive) as you, then the answer is no.
If instead you see him right next to your group talking with a couple girls (jealousy switch activated) smiling then leans over a shoulder and asks your entire group something like "hey, can I get an opinion from you guys?" Not even looking directly at you. He is totally non-interested in you, not trying to GET anything from you, just talking to you and your friends. He already has women in his life as seen and he is not TOTALLY in to you, just being social. He is not threatening at all, and you evolutionarily will be MORE attracted to him than the man who came directly to you.
This sort of social dynamics I don't really have to think about before going to a public gathering or anything, I have been social my whole life so these principles comes naturally to me. However there are many many men out there who simply have not had much experience talking to strangers and women or people who just fail to put them selves in the shoes of females.
Girls like attention yes, but they want it in a non-threatening way from a man who they perceive to be of high value. This is science, and programed into all females, despite what Equinox might say.
Indeed. Nothing more to add to that, just really agree.
What about a girl that is proud but also appreciates you?
I dissagree with this, as well with all the other "How to get a Girlfriend" ways. I will give you one simple step to get into a relationship:
Step 1) Be yourself. If you act like something you are not then that person will eventually find out and most likely hate you. If you act like yourself then they will fall for you, not for something that you are not.
But that's just my oppinion...
Ahh. That makes sense. The thing is that your "being yourself" isn't someone else's. Some guys are assholes and some girls like to be treated like dirt. More power to them, just don't act kind if you're an asshole. She will find out and be pissed.