so heres a joke for all of you polish fans in the world cup....
so Brazil and Poland arrive at a game and brazil relizes that there was a mix up and all the jerseys said "Ronaldinho". But ronaldinho says "ahh.. what the hell! ill play the game and you guys just go get a drink." So brazil goes to get a drink and leaves ronaldinho as their only player.
while the brazilian team is at the bar, they get informed that in the 20th minute brazil scores so its 1-0. they guys get happy and then go back to there drinks. then, in the 82nd minute, poland equilizes and it becomes 1-1 and then the game ends. the brazilian team goes to ronaldinho and say "why couldnt you keep them from scoring?". then ronaldinho replies "hey i tried! but i got a red card in the 50th minute!"
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"You are like a rose in a great rose field. Each rose is so beautiful to me. But if one dies... I can still look at many other roses..." God of Darkness.
Back in the 18th century thier was this french warship, one morning the lookout spotted and enemy ship on the horizon. The captain said to his assistant, "bring me my red shirt", so the battle goes on and they end up sinking the ship. The assistant asks the captian why he had him bring his red shirt, he replys "if i am shot, the crew wont see me bleed and they will continue to fight." So the next day the lookout see's 20 enemy ships on the horizon. The captain says to his assistant, "bring me my brown pants."
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If you ever meet a hafling and a hungry dragon you dont have to outrun the dragon, you only have to outrun the hafling.
arby.... that was hilarious! i printed it out and i showed it to my girlfriend. she thinks that its also hilarious
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"You are like a rose in a great rose field. Each rose is so beautiful to me. But if one dies... I can still look at many other roses..." God of Darkness.
a blonde was driving down the road and glaces to the right and notices another blonde rowing in the nearby field with no water in sight(using a rowboat).she quikly stops the car and yells at the blond
"it is poeple like u that make other poeple call us blonds names, if i could SWIM i would go over there and kick ur ass"
So this 80 year old guy goes to the doctor and he cant help himself but brag, "my 20 year old wife is pregnant."
the doctor looks at him and says well i have a story for you. my grandpa went out hunting and when he got to the lake he noticed that he forgot to bring his gun, so not wanting to waste the trip he picks up a stick. shortly thereafter he sees a beaver on a rock, and he points the stick at it makes two bang bang noises and the beaver falls over dead.
the old man replies sounds like someone else pump a couple of rounds into that beaver.
the doctor smiles and says, "my point exactly"
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Proverbs 1:7
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge,
i wonder what duriel does when nobody is attacking. i mean does he stare at the wall or something and turiel in the room tight after him. how long did he stay there? i bet it was more than a day...
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"You are like a rose in a great rose field. Each rose is so beautiful to me. But if one dies... I can still look at many other roses..." God of Darkness.
Dead PussyAn old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pussy.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.
what men would do if they had a vagina for a day10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot. what women would do if they had a penis for a day10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
lol nice one... and if u get close enough to the fence it does zap you... the fence was turned down low because he had a baby calf in thier... it felt funny lol
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If you ever meet a hafling and a hungry dragon you dont have to outrun the dragon, you only have to outrun the hafling.
Well if you've seen CKY2K i think it was where Chris Raab pisses on the fence...it looks like it hurts. So we decided not to try it and maybe still have children one day.
Edit/Although i wonder what would happen if a girl were to piss on a fence. Could be pretty interesting.
here's the best blonde joke that kicks all the other ones's ass
so a blonde, redhead, and a black haired woman are running away from a farmer. up ahead they see a barn so they run in there. INside they see three big ass potato sacks so they all jump in a seperate one.
then the farmer goes in the barn and sees the 3 "full" potato sacks so he walks over to the one with the black haired woman and he kicks it and the black haired woman says
"MEOW!"
and the farmer says "stupid cat". He walks over to the one with the redhead and kicks it and the redhead says
"WOF"
an the farmer says "stupid dog" and then he walks over to the one with the blonde and kicks it and the blonde says
"po... ta.... to...."
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"You are like a rose in a great rose field. Each rose is so beautiful to me. But if one dies... I can still look at many other roses..." God of Darkness.
Is this thread old or new? Because there are several jokes threads and we should really merge them to one.
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''May the Gods give you the strength and power to bear the madness which flows through our minds.''
''Zubin, I've always imagined you as a crazy raver. The kinda guy that spends all night dancing to trance music while waving glow sticks and popping ecstasy.'' - Murderface
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so Brazil and Poland arrive at a game and brazil relizes that there was a mix up and all the jerseys said "Ronaldinho". But ronaldinho says "ahh.. what the hell! ill play the game and you guys just go get a drink." So brazil goes to get a drink and leaves ronaldinho as their only player.
while the brazilian team is at the bar, they get informed that in the 20th minute brazil scores so its 1-0. they guys get happy and then go back to there drinks. then, in the 82nd minute, poland equilizes and it becomes 1-1 and then the game ends. the brazilian team goes to ronaldinho and say "why couldnt you keep them from scoring?". then ronaldinho replies "hey i tried! but i got a red card in the 50th minute!"
Hello Mr. Fbim4
what is the red card?????????????????
Hello mr. fbim4 what r u talking
what is your matter please explame this matter
Back in the 18th century thier was this french warship, one morning the lookout spotted and enemy ship on the horizon. The captain said to his assistant, "bring me my red shirt", so the battle goes on and they end up sinking the ship. The assistant asks the captian why he had him bring his red shirt, he replys "if i am shot, the crew wont see me bleed and they will continue to fight." So the next day the lookout see's 20 enemy ships on the horizon. The captain says to his assistant, "bring me my brown pants."
a blonde was driving down the road and glaces to the right and notices another blonde rowing in the nearby field with no water in sight(using a rowboat).she quikly stops the car and yells at the blond
"it is poeple like u that make other poeple call us blonds names, if i could SWIM i would go over there and kick ur ass"
muhahaha
peace...
the doctor looks at him and says well i have a story for you. my grandpa went out hunting and when he got to the lake he noticed that he forgot to bring his gun, so not wanting to waste the trip he picks up a stick. shortly thereafter he sees a beaver on a rock, and he points the stick at it makes two bang bang noises and the beaver falls over dead.
the old man replies sounds like someone else pump a couple of rounds into that beaver.
the doctor smiles and says, "my point exactly"
A: because he knows where all the naugthy girls live.
2 blonds walk into a building... you would think atleast one would see the building
did any1 else pee on an electric fence???
i wonder what duriel does when nobody is attacking. i mean does he stare at the wall or something and turiel in the room tight after him. how long did he stay there? i bet it was more than a day...
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.
what men would do if they had a vagina for a day10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.
what women would do if they had a penis for a day10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.
1. Repeat number 9......
Edit/Although i wonder what would happen if a girl were to piss on a fence. Could be pretty interesting.
so a blonde, redhead, and a black haired woman are running away from a farmer. up ahead they see a barn so they run in there. INside they see three big ass potato sacks so they all jump in a seperate one.
then the farmer goes in the barn and sees the 3 "full" potato sacks so he walks over to the one with the black haired woman and he kicks it and the black haired woman says
"MEOW!"
and the farmer says "stupid cat". He walks over to the one with the redhead and kicks it and the redhead says
"WOF"
an the farmer says "stupid dog" and then he walks over to the one with the blonde and kicks it and the blonde says
"po... ta.... to...."
''Zubin, I've always imagined you as a crazy raver. The kinda guy that spends all night dancing to trance music while waving glow sticks and popping ecstasy.'' - Murderface