It had been two years ago since Steve had seen his first murder scene. To this day it still bothered him. He kept waking up at night with nightmares. He had grown distant with his fiance, and work, well he thought it was time to quit. He wasn't cut out to be a cop. It was now very obvious to him.
Steve walked back home after another hour session with his psychiatrist. Had they been making any progress? It all just seemed like a big waste of time to him. Over $100 an hour so Steve could sit there and talk about his dreams, which were always the same, his growing distance from his fiance and the fact that everyone down at the police station thought he was a wuss? Every session ending the same way, with him in tears knowing that he was having a mental break down.
Steve had taken the advice of his shrink and taken some time off from work. Twice. Him and Karen went to Florida and sat on the beach almost everyday. It was supposed to get him to get his mind off of things and cling to the woman he loved. But they barely talked. They never made love anymore, and he could tell that they were drifting apart, and it was his fault.
The walk back from the light-rail was cold, even in the middle of the after noon. The sun was out, yet the wind blew hard on the back of his neck. Steve flipped up his collar to keep the wind off of it. It was past Valentines Day. Karen and him didn't go out. He felt guilty. His depression was taking over every aspect of his life and it didn't seem as if he would ever get control of it again.
Steve passed a playground as he walked. It was empty. He stopped and put his hands on the chain link fence and closed his eyes. He could imagine the sound of children playing, running around and laughing. For a brief moment he smiled. Flash. He's in the den of that house. all he could smell was, death. He opened his eyes and let go of the fence taking in a deep breath. His heart pounding in his chest. Quickly he reached into his coat pocket and pulled out his anxiety meds and took two. When would this ever end?
Steve proceeded to walk home. It was still early in the afternoon and Karen wouldn't be expecting him home quite yet. It might be a good surprise for her to see him home so soon. He had to change things between the two of them. He was losing her and he knew it. It was time to do something about it. He reached the steps of the condo plex, having to step over a homeless man as he started to go up them. That was odd. He had never seen a homeless person this far outside of the downtown area before. Steve shrugged it off and went up the stairs. He got to his door, took a deep breath and unlocked the door. It wasn't too much of a surprise to him what he saw. And at that very moment, he thought he could change everything so it would be alright again.
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