You know, there's a part of me that just really wants to rage all over this thread. I know lots of people in this same situation. "Oh, my wife hates it when I play." or "Oh, my girlfriend gets all pissy and says I'm neglecting her if I play. Sorry, I can't raid tonight.". OMG I can't even begin to imagine being completely denied and shut down like that. ALL THINGS IN MODERATION! I totally agree! THE MODERATION SHOULD BE MODERATED AS WELL! Know what I mean? You need to have YOU time also. It's not all about "them".
And really, I don't know who I want to rage at more. The ones that hate the game, or the ones that allow said haters to deprive them of any enjoyment of it. You have Control Freak vs. Completely Spineless, I swear! ZOMG RAGE RAGE RAGE!
Women really love to do things together. Unfortunately those things are not always fun. Like going to pick out new curtains or dinner plates. Or try on 5.2 billion pairs of jeans. A lot of them will play video games with you, but very few will play video games while your not around. Some people love to play sports, or work out, or be creative and craft something, or play games. They dont do those things because their spouse or anyone else wants to do them together, they do them because they want to. Its just part of who they are. But sometimes women like to manipulate men. They dont do this because its good for the relationship, its just part of who they are. Unfortunately its usually a sign of insecurity. Not all women are like this, but some are.
I've had my share of manipulative women. This one girl used to have horrible mood swings if things werent going the way she wanted, and i would be compelled to apologize, or change my behavior to appease her. At the time i was way too inexperienced to realize what was happening. Another time a different girl just plain lied to me in order to keep me from breaking up with her, and extort money from me.
The only way to avoid this behavior in women is to avoid those types of women themselves. But if your already stuck with one, then I would probably throw some masculine rationality at them. Make an argument that cant be disputed. An easy way to do this is by just making an observation. When she does something you dont like, tell her what she has done, and why she has done it, and finish by telling her that its not going to work on you. She might be doing it without any devious thought or premeditation, having become something simply second-nature to her. And the surest way to alter an annoying habit is by simply identifying it.
Anyway to OP: If you havnt already told her straight up like some other people in this thread, that video games are a part of you and she can either play them with you or leave you alone, then i would probably do that sooner than later. Space is important in relationships, like a comfy sweater, it can be snug, smothering, or thread-bare. But relationships also require maintenance. Dont forget to address problems when you become aware of them. I realize im coming off preachy, but its just that i can relate. :/ Hope this crap helps.
This, is exactly the reason why you marry a gamer yourself, these situations just don't arise lol. Playing co-op games with a gamer wife is like spending quality time to them. Night out at the movies, Dinner at a restaurant, Trying to survive Inferno together, all the same when you have a gamer wife.
wow there is some great advice in this thread, but since im madly in love with her and would easily choose her over a game if she needed me, ill sum up the best advice...
being the logical, linear thinking male that i am, i always forget to take a step back in these situations and figure out what she is really upset / stressed about. right now she is pissed about work and stressed about a new job offer coming through. wish there was a way to set off a red flag when she reacts "illogically" and figure out whats really bugging her.
other good bit of advice was from a few people discussing "coexisting". im not a huge gamer myself, never got into WoW. played d1 and d2 growing up but have not been a big gamer for much of our relationship. so yea i can understand her struggle with my "new" obsession. but it is about making each other happy, and to give her credit she is pretty supportive of my gaming. i just have to do a good job of letting her know she always comes first, and i can always get back to gaming later, but if she needs me now, i can press pause...
my two cents after ive had some time to think and step back from the situation. good luck to all those balancing the two!!
wow there is some great advice in this thread, but since im madly in love with her and would easily choose her over a game if she needed me, ill sum up the best advice...
being the logical, linear thinking male that i am, i always forget to take a step back in these situations and figure out what she is really upset / stressed about. right now she is pissed about work and stressed about a new job offer coming through. wish there was a way to set off a red flag when she reacts "illogically" and figure out whats really bugging her.
other good bit of advice was from a few people discussing "coexisting". im not a huge gamer myself, never got into WoW. played d1 and d2 growing up but have not been a big gamer for much of our relationship. so yea i can understand her struggle with my "new" obsession. but it is about making each other happy, and to give her credit she is pretty supportive of my gaming. i just have to do a good job of letting her know she always comes first, and i can always get back to gaming later, but if she needs me now, i can press pause...
my two cents after ive had some time to think and step back from the situation. good luck to all those balancing the two!!
Well obviously pressing pause is a normal behavior if you play alone. 5min doing the thing you need to do and then unpause. That's balanced couple stuff. Whats unbalanced is when her stuff become your stuff even though you dont like it.
When i raided 5 days a week for 5+ hours i got shit a lot. Now that wow is a thing of the past my wife is completely supportive of me taking 3+ straight days away from work and almost all responsibility as long as a eat dinner with her. Being a good partner for the most part and doing "your part" in the relationship pays back 10 fold.
Alright, here's what you do.
Approach said spouse/other and say, "Bitch!" Then proceed to tell her what's up. Once step one has been activated. She'll undoubtedly go crazy. After this, continue to call her 'Bitch' while explaining to her why she is second to diablo to show your superiority.Obviously. From these easy steps, two possible outcomes will arise. The first outcome, she'll accept the fact she is second best and will please you anyway you see fit, or secondly, she'll leave you proving that she is not worthy of you and your greatness. The outcomes are a win win.
Wait until kids come along. Then its bye-bye MP for a while, unless you're lucky enough to have a big house, a baby that sleeps well and a cook and/or cleaner/in-laws.
Gone are the Friday nights of Gears & Beers. Pausing Tag&Frag just doesnt work out.
Yelling at team mates and the sound of chainsawing aliens in half seemed to wake her up everytime... go figure.
Its cool though, D3 MP is designed really well. I can just TP back to town and/or type correspondance with team mates. No need to get mic'ed up.
ON TOPIC - Hope it works out man. Despite me playing games almost everynight without failure, the truth is I never play as much as I want/used to. Gotta put aside a little bit of time each night for them, or there's really no point getting married in the first place.
Just looking at the original post. This just goes to show the logic of a woman. She pesters you about the game and then expects you to ask her to use up more of her time for the game? Give me a break. Id try to inform her that if she doesn't like the game she isn't going to have fun doing the whole midnight release thing but let her join you and your buddy for the night if she really wants to.
Just remind her that the style of gameplay in Diablo 3 will allow you to stop playing at a moments notice and tend to her every need. That would be damn near impossible if you were in a 25 man WoW raid. Worst case in Diablo 3 you die and have to run back and spend a few gold - boo hoo.
Some couples like to do everything together all the time. Others like to be 'with' the other person, near them at all times, but don't need their full attention.
As for most women, they just want to know you are thinking about them. That's pretty much it. If you didn't ask, then she assumes you weren't thinking of her.
And for my fight, does fighting over who gets to play D3 count? We found out during the beta that her school laptop won't be able to run it. We were always fighting over who got to play.
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My wife hates my gaming for very specific and logical reasons. She hates when I play SC2 custom maps because 1. There's no pause button and 2. Our PCs are in our 2nd bedroom. She's okay with me gaming on the xbox 360 in the living room because she can sit there and read and still spend time with me. I can't help that multiplayer games have no pause, but thankfully they added this functionality to D3 in solo play, which I figure I'll spend most of my time in. The other one I'll need to buy a nice laptop capable of running D3 easily, an investment that makes sense anyways for the type of tech setup we will eventually have in our new house we're buying.
Same here. I just got a good Asus Laptop (ASUS N53SM, Nvidia Geforce GT630m, 2GB video. And I upgraded the HD to a SSD drive) for D3 so I can play in the living room. My wife hates, absolutely hates my PC gaming! I told her I don't play golf, or go to bars anymore, I don't drink, gamble, or target shoot anymore (ammo gets expensive). My only hobbies include going to the gym (if you call that a hobby), and PC gaming/watching movies/ cooking. PC Gaming has to be the cheapest hobby around and its a great escape for me, like a good movie. I always make time first for my family and daughter, then game when it doesn't interfere with my family time. Fortunately, my current job always me to game when things get slow as long as I get my work done. So during the day I can get all my gaming out of my system. I still have the original Diablo 1 box from 1996 with the receipt, and the D2 box. My wife knows that I have been waiting for D3 for along time now! In fact, it really is the only game I am looking forward too. The memories of Diablo1 back in the day were some of the best on my 486DX2. (and C&C).
'Quality time' is the key word here for most women. (from the '5 Love Languages' book). When your gaming, it takes away from their quality time with you. So get a laptop that can run D3, game on the go in the living room, bathroom, etc. while she watches her shows, (American Idol/Dance with Stars, The Bachelor). Or game when everyone goes to bed. But either way you have make schedule time for both.
Schedule your time with your significant other that way there are no misunderstandings as to what you're both doing, separately or together. Tell him/her that you're planning on playing D3 between these hours. If any emergency comes up, it's a game, turn it off. It'll be there when you get back.
Unless your s.o. is really needy you can live by the rule above, otherwise spend some time with them, doing things together and worry about the game later. Life and the special people in your life should come before a game, always.
That being said, when I told my wife I booked 2 vacation days off to play D3, she laughed at me, called me nuts, and laughed at me some more. :Thumbs Up:
As for most women, they just want to know you are thinking about them. That's pretty much it. If you didn't ask, then she assumes you weren't thinking of her.
And for my fight, does fighting over who gets to play D3 count? We found out during the beta that her school laptop won't be able to run it. We were always fighting over who got to play.
My suggestion, buy a computer for your girlfriend. Then the only fight you got is if you should sell that legendary that you don't need but she does.
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I don't always burn. But when I do, I use hellfire.
And really, I don't know who I want to rage at more. The ones that hate the game, or the ones that allow said haters to deprive them of any enjoyment of it. You have Control Freak vs. Completely Spineless, I swear! ZOMG RAGE RAGE RAGE!
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I've had my share of manipulative women. This one girl used to have horrible mood swings if things werent going the way she wanted, and i would be compelled to apologize, or change my behavior to appease her. At the time i was way too inexperienced to realize what was happening. Another time a different girl just plain lied to me in order to keep me from breaking up with her, and extort money from me.
The only way to avoid this behavior in women is to avoid those types of women themselves. But if your already stuck with one, then I would probably throw some masculine rationality at them. Make an argument that cant be disputed. An easy way to do this is by just making an observation. When she does something you dont like, tell her what she has done, and why she has done it, and finish by telling her that its not going to work on you. She might be doing it without any devious thought or premeditation, having become something simply second-nature to her. And the surest way to alter an annoying habit is by simply identifying it.
Anyway to OP: If you havnt already told her straight up like some other people in this thread, that video games are a part of you and she can either play them with you or leave you alone, then i would probably do that sooner than later. Space is important in relationships, like a comfy sweater, it can be snug, smothering, or thread-bare. But relationships also require maintenance. Dont forget to address problems when you become aware of them. I realize im coming off preachy, but its just that i can relate. :/ Hope this crap helps.
This, is exactly the reason why you marry a gamer yourself, these situations just don't arise lol. Playing co-op games with a gamer wife is like spending quality time to them. Night out at the movies, Dinner at a restaurant, Trying to survive Inferno together, all the same when you have a gamer wife.
being the logical, linear thinking male that i am, i always forget to take a step back in these situations and figure out what she is really upset / stressed about. right now she is pissed about work and stressed about a new job offer coming through. wish there was a way to set off a red flag when she reacts "illogically" and figure out whats really bugging her.
other good bit of advice was from a few people discussing "coexisting". im not a huge gamer myself, never got into WoW. played d1 and d2 growing up but have not been a big gamer for much of our relationship. so yea i can understand her struggle with my "new" obsession. but it is about making each other happy, and to give her credit she is pretty supportive of my gaming. i just have to do a good job of letting her know she always comes first, and i can always get back to gaming later, but if she needs me now, i can press pause...
my two cents after ive had some time to think and step back from the situation. good luck to all those balancing the two!!
I assure you you're not as logical as you think you are.
Well obviously pressing pause is a normal behavior if you play alone. 5min doing the thing you need to do and then unpause. That's balanced couple stuff. Whats unbalanced is when her stuff become your stuff even though you dont like it.
Approach said spouse/other and say, "Bitch!" Then proceed to tell her what's up. Once step one has been activated. She'll undoubtedly go crazy. After this, continue to call her 'Bitch' while explaining to her why she is second to diablo to show your superiority.Obviously. From these easy steps, two possible outcomes will arise. The first outcome, she'll accept the fact she is second best and will please you anyway you see fit, or secondly, she'll leave you proving that she is not worthy of you and your greatness. The outcomes are a win win.
Gone are the Friday nights of Gears & Beers. Pausing Tag&Frag just doesnt work out.
Yelling at team mates and the sound of chainsawing aliens in half seemed to wake her up everytime... go figure.
Its cool though, D3 MP is designed really well. I can just TP back to town and/or type correspondance with team mates. No need to get mic'ed up.
ON TOPIC - Hope it works out man. Despite me playing games almost everynight without failure, the truth is I never play as much as I want/used to. Gotta put aside a little bit of time each night for them, or there's really no point getting married in the first place.
http://www.wowhq.com
Some couples like to do everything together all the time. Others like to be 'with' the other person, near them at all times, but don't need their full attention.
And for my fight, does fighting over who gets to play D3 count? We found out during the beta that her school laptop won't be able to run it. We were always fighting over who got to play.
Find any Diablo news? Contact me or anyone else on the News team
Same here. I just got a good Asus Laptop (ASUS N53SM, Nvidia Geforce GT630m, 2GB video. And I upgraded the HD to a SSD drive) for D3 so I can play in the living room. My wife hates, absolutely hates my PC gaming! I told her I don't play golf, or go to bars anymore, I don't drink, gamble, or target shoot anymore (ammo gets expensive). My only hobbies include going to the gym (if you call that a hobby), and PC gaming/watching movies/ cooking. PC Gaming has to be the cheapest hobby around and its a great escape for me, like a good movie. I always make time first for my family and daughter, then game when it doesn't interfere with my family time. Fortunately, my current job always me to game when things get slow as long as I get my work done. So during the day I can get all my gaming out of my system. I still have the original Diablo 1 box from 1996 with the receipt, and the D2 box. My wife knows that I have been waiting for D3 for along time now! In fact, it really is the only game I am looking forward too. The memories of Diablo1 back in the day were some of the best on my 486DX2. (and C&C).
Unless your s.o. is really needy you can live by the rule above, otherwise spend some time with them, doing things together and worry about the game later. Life and the special people in your life should come before a game, always.
That being said, when I told my wife I booked 2 vacation days off to play D3, she laughed at me, called me nuts, and laughed at me some more. :Thumbs Up:
my adivce: don't say it, your balls are special, you'll be lost without them!